To just want to be happy but be failing

[Justwanttobehappyplease]

I just want to feel happy again. That’s all. I’m getting divorced after what I’m told was an emotionally abusive relationship (he told me it was my fault enough time and I’m so full of self doubt that who knows…). I thought leaving would be the best thing (mainly because of the example for dc) after he ignored me for 3 weeks…but now 18 months on I’m still struggling. Doing ok day to day (though 50-50 custody is hard) but I just feel like I made a massive mistake because I’m still so sad. I know it wasn’t all good before, but there were really happy times.

AIBU to expect to be happy? How can I get there?

One hour at a time, then one day at a time.
All the best and positivity op

Are there other things in your life that are bringing you down? I left two years ago and still have periods of regret, but it’s because things keep going wrong (landlords, house problems) and every time they do, it feels like another blow and I wish I was still with him because he brought in a lot of money and we had reached a stable position after several years in the same place and (even though he was also abusive) he could be very supportive at times.

I think it’s easy to remember the good things and not the bad. I left for good reason and I still think it was the right decision. I think it will get better, but in some ways, it’s like starting out over again. I like stability and things have been in flux since I left with moving house and all the adjustments I’ve had to make. I think it will get better though. I want to learn to be happy alone because I never want my happiness to be dependent on someone else again.

I promise you it will get easier and better

Just remember that with every change (even a positive one), there comes a loss. And it's ok to feel sad about that.

Best of luck.