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Original poster

Children on social media

62 replies

ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:04

I used to post photos of my son on social media, until I went to some training on children and autonomy/the Internet etc. It opened my eyes to the fact that I had created a digital footprint of my son without his consent, and posted 'cute' photos of him that he may find embarrassing as he gets older. I removed all photographs and won't post any more unless he wants me to when he's older. The training really struck a chord.

I've come across people either friends or 'influencer', that post all sorts, photos of kids in the bath with goggles on, photos of their kids in drama performances, photos of their kids upset or stressed for whatever reason, videos pranking their kids etc.

Does anyone else wonder what the effect of putting photos of our children's daily lives on the Internet might be?

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 21/05/2023 20:06

I don't like it (never have) and have never uploaded pics of my kids to the internet, aside from my wedding pics when DD was 3.

Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:09

Dacadactyl · 21/05/2023 20:06

I don't like it (never have) and have never uploaded pics of my kids to the internet, aside from my wedding pics when DD was 3.

I fully admit I had 10 photos of my son online. All were just us doing pretty boring things (aka him holding a cake we had baked or sitting on a tractor) but I learnt that children can be affected even if they think they don't like their facial expression in the photo, or the clothes they are wearing, and I had a massive rethink.

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RightWhereYouLeftMe · 21/05/2023 20:11

I really don't like the videos of children being pranked. I think playing the trick is horrible in the first place, posting it on the internet so others can laugh is even worse.

I have a private Instagram with fewer than 20 followers where I do post some pictures of DDs. My followers are mainly family (my grandparents are a few, plus some in-laws) so it's mainly a way to share pictures with them. No one can see them unless they request to follow me and I accept, so I don't see it differently to sending them over WhatsApp, but maybe it is.

Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:13

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 21/05/2023 20:11

I really don't like the videos of children being pranked. I think playing the trick is horrible in the first place, posting it on the internet so others can laugh is even worse.

I have a private Instagram with fewer than 20 followers where I do post some pictures of DDs. My followers are mainly family (my grandparents are a few, plus some in-laws) so it's mainly a way to share pictures with them. No one can see them unless they request to follow me and I accept, so I don't see it differently to sending them over WhatsApp, but maybe it is.

This question was actually asked in the training and the woman delivering it said 'well why did you choose the Internet instead of a message if it's a no different' - brought up quite a bit of debate. Was very, very interesting.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 21/05/2023 20:13

ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:09

I fully admit I had 10 photos of my son online. All were just us doing pretty boring things (aka him holding a cake we had baked or sitting on a tractor) but I learnt that children can be affected even if they think they don't like their facial expression in the photo, or the clothes they are wearing, and I had a massive rethink.

Show quote history

For me, it's nothing to do with the consent thing and my DD is 16 now so has her own insta account, but I just felt weird putting pictures of my kids online from the off and i cant put my finger on why.

Greenshake · 21/05/2023 20:14

Ideally, kids shouldn’t have any social media presence at all, indirectly or otherwise. I think we will look back in years to come and regret our blasé attitude towards social media and the Internet.

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 21/05/2023 20:15

This question was actually asked in the training and the woman delivering it said 'well why did you choose the Internet instead of a message if it's a no different' - brought up quite a bit of debate. Was very, very interesting.

For me it is just convenience. I don't need to send the picture to people individually. I don't post many, but my grandparents and parents ask for pictures of DDs and so this is just quicker.

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:15

I don't post any pictures of my children online. I do share some pictures via WhatsApp, in groups where I know everyone (10 ish people). Did your course comment on that? Now wondering if also a bad idea.

I have a bit of an issue with my children's school endlessly posting on Facebook and on their website, weekly pictures of individuals or small groups. I opt out for mine but I just feel the policy needs to be changed.

Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:15

Dacadactyl · 21/05/2023 20:13

For me, it's nothing to do with the consent thing and my DD is 16 now so has her own insta account, but I just felt weird putting pictures of my kids online from the off and i cant put my finger on why.

Show quote history

I feel exactly the same now and I used to be someone who put the occasional photo online!

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SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:17

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 21/05/2023 20:15

This question was actually asked in the training and the woman delivering it said 'well why did you choose the Internet instead of a message if it's a no different' - brought up quite a bit of debate. Was very, very interesting.

For me it is just convenience. I don't need to send the picture to people individually. I don't post many, but my grandparents and parents ask for pictures of DDs and so this is just quicker.

A WhatsApp group, or a shared Google album would be just as quick? (I hope these are better.....)

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 21/05/2023 20:18

I'm a bit conflicted about this because I love looking back at old photos and I don't post any horrifically embarrassing pics or posts about my children so I hope they won't mind but I would remove them all if they asked. However, I've seen some photos where they've posted their toddlers covered in poo, or some other horrid thing and I just think 'no'. I also think influencers exploiting their children for money is in terrible taste and I can't follow them anymore.

I think there is a balance but I mostly side with your view and I do ask permission before posting nowadays and if they wanted any pics removed I would do so in an instant. My settings are all private too.

Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:19

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:15

I don't post any pictures of my children online. I do share some pictures via WhatsApp, in groups where I know everyone (10 ish people). Did your course comment on that? Now wondering if also a bad idea.

I have a bit of an issue with my children's school endlessly posting on Facebook and on their website, weekly pictures of individuals or small groups. I opt out for mine but I just feel the policy needs to be changed.

Yes someone asked why it was any different to posting online, and the answer was that it's because the child will likely not know that photo was sent and if they did they'd feel safe with that knowledge (only if the parent was sending to trusted friend's who the child knows). Talked about how people in the past would often print photos for family members and close friends and we haven't seen any negative effects of that. They also commented that a lot of people don't have private pages, or they do and their pages are hacked and their photos stolen, so anyone can access the photos and do whatever they want with them.

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:21

Dacadactyl · 21/05/2023 20:13

For me, it's nothing to do with the consent thing and my DD is 16 now so has her own insta account, but I just felt weird putting pictures of my kids online from the off and i cant put my finger on why.

Show quote history

I think it's using a child to get attention for yourself that feels wrong to me. Which is basically what it is.
I feel like if you want attention make a bit of an effort and find a cat video or something to share

msisfine · 21/05/2023 20:22

I'm a teacher and have had so much safeguarding training that when it comes to posting pics of my DC I just don't.

Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:24

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:21

I think it's using a child to get attention for yourself that feels wrong to me. Which is basically what it is.
I feel like if you want attention make a bit of an effort and find a cat video or something to share

Show quote history

Exactly. I mean, what's the point? So everyone can look at your kid and you get a bit of a kick out of everyone telling you how sweet and lovely they are? I hold my hands up and admit that this was me (being very honest here and might not be coming across well, but that's fine..). Then I took a good hard look at myself and thought 'what the f am I doing?!'

OP posts:
Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:25

msisfine · 21/05/2023 20:22

I'm a teacher and have had so much safeguarding training that when it comes to posting pics of my DC I just don't.

Would you mind elaborating a bit? I'd love to know more about your views as a teacher.

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:27

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 21/05/2023 20:18

I'm a bit conflicted about this because I love looking back at old photos and I don't post any horrifically embarrassing pics or posts about my children so I hope they won't mind but I would remove them all if they asked. However, I've seen some photos where they've posted their toddlers covered in poo, or some other horrid thing and I just think 'no'. I also think influencers exploiting their children for money is in terrible taste and I can't follow them anymore.

I think there is a balance but I mostly side with your view and I do ask permission before posting nowadays and if they wanted any pics removed I would do so in an instant. My settings are all private too.

The thing about Facebook is that nothing is truly private. People can hack in, and lots of people know how to do that. Only post stuff that you'd be fine with future friends, enemies, in laws, exes, employers seeing.
What gets me is people posting things (in a group containing several thousand people) like "my 8 year old still wets the bed....any tips? Here's a photo of him". School bullies will have a field day with that in a few years.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/05/2023 20:27

DD has started asking me not to post stuff in the last couple of years like when she had her ears pierced etc (not that I would've posted that anyway). I told sil and she said I'm not checking first I'll post whatever I like. I think that's not very respectful as she is 10 and should have a say what goes on the internet

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:29

ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:19

Yes someone asked why it was any different to posting online, and the answer was that it's because the child will likely not know that photo was sent and if they did they'd feel safe with that knowledge (only if the parent was sending to trusted friend's who the child knows). Talked about how people in the past would often print photos for family members and close friends and we haven't seen any negative effects of that. They also commented that a lot of people don't have private pages, or they do and their pages are hacked and their photos stolen, so anyone can access the photos and do whatever they want with them.

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That's reassuring. Thanks for the info

Sarah2891 · 21/05/2023 20:30

My nephew's mum posts lots of pictures of him on Twitter and photos of things he's written in cards etc to her. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. Kids deserve privacy and not to have their photos and personal information posted for all to see online.

Lcb123 · 21/05/2023 20:33

I totally agree with you. It’s not fair until they can consent. I don’t have kids yet but some of my friends post child’s pics / videos on Instagram stories so at least there’s no footprint. The worst are instagram mums posting videos or pics of their kids potty training or having a tantrum-it’s so unfair to that child. How mortified could they be in the future

Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:34

Lcb123 · 21/05/2023 20:33

I totally agree with you. It’s not fair until they can consent. I don’t have kids yet but some of my friends post child’s pics / videos on Instagram stories so at least there’s no footprint. The worst are instagram mums posting videos or pics of their kids potty training or having a tantrum-it’s so unfair to that child. How mortified could they be in the future

That's still a digital footprint. They images are still stores after they're posted (they pop up as memories) and anyone who hacks into an account can find them. Anyone who views them can see them.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:37

ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:34

That's still a digital footprint. They images are still stores after they're posted (they pop up as memories) and anyone who hacks into an account can find them. Anyone who views them can see them.

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*anyone who views them can screenshot them

OP posts:
savehannah · 21/05/2023 20:44

I post pics of my kids though nothing embarrassing or nude. And only on Facebook where I am only friends with people who I actually know in real life. I don't understand sharing anything personal on Instagram where any random can follow you.

I do also think when it's literally just pictures of my kids doing totally normal things,I can't see why it would be of any interest to anyone who doesn't know them. Anyone can see my kids walking down the street or in a park, so not sure how people seeing a photo of them in a park is dangerous. I do think people worry a bit too much.

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/05/2023 20:48

ChildcarePanic · 21/05/2023 20:24

Exactly. I mean, what's the point? So everyone can look at your kid and you get a bit of a kick out of everyone telling you how sweet and lovely they are? I hold my hands up and admit that this was me (being very honest here and might not be coming across well, but that's fine..). Then I took a good hard look at myself and thought 'what the f am I doing?!'

Show quote history

We're all proud of our children and want to show them off, I guess it's the realisation that there's a significant downside for the child that makes the difference. There's a balance to be struck. There's some pictures of me as a child on Facebook, school photos etc, that people have scanned in, and I don't mind those. For me it's just easier to have a blanket rule.