AIBU to ask how do you know if you have a big bum, good legs and good/ bad other body parts?

[Ridingaroundonbuses]

Sounds silly but at the end of the day how are you meant to judge these things about yourself?

Well, you could try cuddling the nearest three year old. Apparently I have a big tummy and lots of spots.

The same as if you're looking at somebody else.

I know I have a big bum as it is in proportion to the rest of me!

Why do you feel the need to judge yours9?

Are you attaching value to physical features? That's a very good way to drive yourself mad.

No! I’m not attaching value to physical features but these things ( good legs etc) must have come from somewhere in terms of ‘standards’. Maybe it’s not so much a thing with younger people but it’s still something that people say.

Well, you know what you think looks good, and judge against that. Obviously. Same way you know if a cake you made looks like the Bake Off Victoria Sponge winner or the Nailed It contestants efforts.

But - equally obviously- it REALLY doesn’t matter. Big bum, small bum, tight bum, wobbly bum- it doesn’t matter.

Well, 'good' is a bit subjective - not everyone has the same taste in size/shape of body parts! But I don't really see how you can be unable to judge whether you have a big bum, unless you've seen surprisingly few people with bums in your life!

As for good vs bad other body parts... what most people seem to mean by 'good' legs, bum, arms etc is slim, toned, not saggy or wobbly, and with nice skin tone. But life is too short to be fretting about these things imo.

Surely which bit of you clothes don’t fit at is the best clue to how you measure up compared to other people.
That’s how I know I have massive shoulders, because I have to buy a jacket 2 sizes bigger than my skirt size.

I know I have good legs because every time they come out in summer I get comments from people who aren't used to seeing them being amazed at what good legs I have.

Which I guess they mean as a compliment but it's a bit insulting they assumed I have shit legs? I'm a classic apple and dress for comfort so I suppose it's a surprise to them.

Definitely this

My youngest told me I have a wobbly tummy, wrinkly knees and a hairy nose earlier. They’re just full of compliments!

The "standards" don't stay the same.

For example, in the 80s, the "good" bum was tiny and flat, like those of Jane Fonda or Jamie Lee Curtis in tiny leotards doing aerobics. Now, the "good bum" is something totally different. And that's happened in just 40 years. Beyonce, as strong and powerfully fit as she is, would have been considered fat in the 60s, when skinny Twiggys were "in". Yet now, she has a "good" body.

By my reckoning, a "good" body happens to be one that, by pure chance, fits into the current trend set by the media, by fashion, etc. Ridiculous really. It's trends and fashion, designed to make at least some of the population feel rubbish about themselves at all times. So who benefits from making some feel bad about themselves?

Yes but their point is that wrinkly knees and hairy tummies are highly desirable and you are better than all the other mums that don’t have them. That was my ds1’s position on my red face, anyway.
Squishy tummies being desirable goes without saying.

See this is how I have a very small bum, even at 21 stone it was very much not in proportion to the rest of me 🤣. Sadly DS has the same pancake arse, we both find trousers a nightmare 😭😅

I have a big bum, small waist. I grew up in a time when I’d get called fat bum on the street daily, milkshakes thrown at me, people grabbing it in clubs, lots of “junk in the trunk” comments.

it’s the fashion now, everyone wants a thicc girl etc. I can’t take compliments about it at all. So yes it’s “a good bum” but is it tho? To me it’s been nothing but grief.

My boys refer to my husband’s stomach as his ‘jolly tummy’ and very much like it because it is ‘cuddly’ 😂 What I will say though is that kids have IMPOSSIBLY high standards because my husband’s stomach is flat and pretty toned 😩😂

It's entirely subjective. What you think is a good bum might be completely different from what I think makes one.

There are no standards.

😂

Taking one to public toilet:

'You can't sit on this seat'.

I don't need to.

'Because your bum is too big'.

Again, I don't need to. But thank you.

My youngest once told me that I was ‘a bit fat, not very fat, just a bit fat’.

I feel like there is no universal standard is there? Just like how most people fancy sporty looking guys and I fancy men who look like Victorian orphans with influenza .... a good stomach to some would be toned abs whereas a good stomach to me would be concave 🤣

Also pp made comments about standards changing, so true! In 00s size zero was in, we wanted small bums. Complete opposite of today. Usually when people make the comment 'you have such good .....' what they are really reflecting on is that they admire it in you cos it is something they want or value in themselves. They aren't speaking objectively for society.

@Sunnyfeelgood So true in terms of your last paragraph!

Well, I used to look at myself and think I was massively fat,not helped by Twiggy, as I grew up in her hey day (hay day?). No one else thought I was.

I never seemed to have a lack of male interest - again, no one was finding 'fat' girls attractive, so I can't have been. Looking at photos, I can see I was a little bit plump when I was about 14. Again, looking at photos, I can see that puppy fat was gone very quickly, though I couldn't ever be bothered to diet as if I tried all I could think about was food, and food I didn't normally eat at tha, like chocolate bars and sweets. If I ate what I wanted it was mainly fruit and veg, I'd want an apple or banana in the same way others wanted choc.

So your own view of yourself is quite possibly inaccurate, very likely is. The main thing is to be satisfied with yourself as you are.

Best way I ever found to lose weight, apart from walking everywhere? Shagging.

Why do you care?

I stopped giving a damn about male imposed “beauty” standards in women long ago, and I’ve never looked back. It’s very liberating.

You have a body. Therefore, it's good.

I have slim hips, amazing boobs and a flat stomach (because the boobs give an impression of flatness)

My legs are fine until mid thigh and then go chubby and my arms are a bit untoned
__

Best way I ever found to lose weight, apart from walking everywhere? Shagging.

^

😂brilliant

I have fat toddler legs. It's annoying because they're obviously impossible to cover up in the pool. And one of the skirted swimsuits would look ridiculous on me.