DP keeps telling me I'm wrong. Am I in the wrong?

[atitagain1000]

Not sure why I'm posting really or what I'm looking for. I sometimes can't work out if I have done something wrong in these situations.

Baby was up all night last night. I was up with DC for hours. I have had 2 hours sleep.
This morning DP slept in, but at 8.15 I went in the bedroom and asked if I could have a sleep for an hour and for DP to go downstairs and look after DC.

DP is really annoyed saying that because I had a lie in yesterday, it's now DP's turn to have one and I've taken this away.

DP does have a lie in most mornings but I think completely forgets this.
The difference with this morning is just because I've been up all night whereas the night before, DC was only awake 20-30 mins in the night.
We've ended up arguing and I feel like shit really.

Sounds like you deserve better. I'd send the toddler ìn every morning for the next week and make sure it's nice and early.

Eugh. What a bastard.

Does he often put you down or belittle you?

I work. DP currently doesn't but will be in a few weeks.
Baby is 11 months old.

@NoSquirrels
Yes, sometimes. I'm undermined quite a bit. DP makes out I bring next to nothing to the household.
I earn the most and pay for the majority of our life.

I feel like I can't get much right sometimes.

Only tonight, DP cooked, and I said the food smelled really nice.
The response I got was 'oh right, it's only taken you 10 years to compliment my cooking'.
I don't even understand this. I say it tastes nice/looks nice/ smells nice every single time.
I just feel so down at the moment.

You can do better but you know this.
My dh likes his lie in but doesn’t stomp about if he can’t have one.

OP I think you know that he’s just not a good husband but it can be hard to admit this to ourselves. He sounds really horrible, really and selfish and genuinely mean, like he’s purposely trying to upset you and make your life harder.

I don’t think you’ll be in the right headspace to leave any time soon as you’re so knackered. But please let this be the event that triggers your realisation that you should leave him at some point, and the sooner you do (even if it’s not for another a year or so), the better your self esteem, confidence and happiness will be.

all the best OP.

He sounds a right knob. Dump him.

Gah! I fucking hate 'turn-lead' arrangements. They so often seem to benefit one partner while the other is left to feel unreasonable about making quite reasonable requests. Next time, stay in bed and point out that 'turns' are often irrelevant and inequitable when you have very little dcs.

I think OP is a man posting about his wife

@atitagain1000 care to comment?

I don’t understand why folks are assuming the op is female and the partner male. The op has deliberately kept it gender neutral, they could both be female or the op male.

Exactly. A lot of effort has been taken to avoid gender identification

And if it’s a man posting about his wife?

Not surprised.

He doesn't care about you at all I'm sorry to say

I bet you could manage really well without him

He is repulsive.

Maybe because it's vanishingly rare for men to do most of the childcare and earn most of the money.

Yep. And saying your partner “isn’t working at the moment” when they’re most likely on Mat leave is disingenuous at best, and downright insulting at worst

She sounds very selfish.

I understand not wanting to give up her lie in but when you’ve been up all night and have a day trip planned then she should want to let you sleep for an hour.

Parenting is hard work but it is even harder when parents don’t share the load.

If she’s like this now then I dread to think what she’ll be like when she starts work.

I think you need to change the rules.

1 of you gets up during the night and that same person is the one they had the lie in.

The 1 that’s not got up during the night should be the one that gets up early with the baby.

And swap each day.

That way you are both getting some sleep even if the baby’s had a bad night.

Are you quite ok? The op has not revealed gender. The op could be female with a female partner. They could indeed be male. They never said they did the majority of the childcare. They said they got the baby up before work.

why all the assumptions. It’s 2023, aren’t we beyond this shit

It's quite telling @atitagain1000 hasn't returned to the thread...