To be upset at how I was treated

[dontknowwhybutitsbad]

Work in a large company. Very busy with a lot of work.

sent an email yesterday saying

”Hi Mary

”name of document” for approval

Thanks
Anne”

5 min My boss takes me into a room and gives
me a dressing down about the email and how it’s really rude, what was I thinking sending an email like that, I look like I have a problem with Mary.

I was a bit bewildered tbh. I said to him that I stand by the email being ok. It’s short but I don’t see a problem with it. He was furious and wanted it recalled and changed to his wording. For an easy life, I changed it then he sent a message saying “actually don’t change it” by which point I’d done the recall and change.

the irony is that I got an email from Mary and all it said was “approved”

I just feel so taken aback with how I was spoken to. I do find him strange at times - quite controlling and just a bit odd.

any suggestions on how I deal with this - I’ve felt rotten all last night and today I still feel really nervous.

i feel like I can’t let it lie.

If you are asking her to review it and come back with feedback it's probably a bit abrupt.

If it's routine, or you've already discussed it and Mary knows what's what then it's just filled so that it's not an empty email.

Theres loads of occasions I'd send an email like that, or even more abrupt. Especially if it's just the transfer of the document and Mary knows what's what.

The pressure on women to add additional pleasantries to emails has actually been studied. It’s a gender thing and actually quite sexist. Your manager is unlikely to have had the same expectations of your male colleagues for flowery soft emails. If you added it all up, women lose a lot of professional time adding in “how are you?” “Have a great say” etc to all emails vs their male counterparts!

I would love all my emails to be to the point like yours. Your manager is being utterly ridiculous and I am finding it hard to understand any organisation that feels pulling you in over this is a good use of their resources and will have any positive outcome.

Keep doing a fine job.
Remember to not place too much store in the opinions of morons, aholes, meanies or people you do not respect.

There’s nothing wrong with your email at all. It was polite and to the point.

What I DESPISE is emails that don’t start with a simple “hello” or don’t end with “regards” or “thanks.

For example:
—-/

Mary,

”name of document” for approval

Anne.

—-/

THAT is fucking abrupt and rude.

Your boss has waaay too much time on his hands if he can afford to waste it on silly shit like this

🙄 what is it about Fridays? He's clearly not got better things to do.

Ignore and move on. Try not to give him headspace.

Thanks everyone.

interesting that people think a man wouldn’t be pulled up on that email.

I accept it was short and sweet but it addressed her by name and said thanks.

tbh im going to speak with him on Monday and say I’m not having it and I don’t want to be spoken to like that again