Crying

[Feelslikespring2]

I am premenstrual at the moment. Anyway last night I was watching the Dani Dyer doc about anxiety with my DM and I started crying talking about how I suffered post natal anxiety too with my first DC. She looked at me like I needed to get a grip and my crying was inappropriate.

I only really cry in the week leading up to my period so know it's hormones but I NEVER saw my DM or grandmother cry, ever. Therefore it's kinda made me feel less of a grown up and like I'm emotionally immature or something.

Does anyone else have a one off crying spells due to hormones or leading up to their period or just generally? I want to feel like a woman but when I cry I'm made to feel like a silly little girl.

Don’t be so quick to dismiss the effects of hormones. They are powerful things. Maybe look at ways to get medical intervention to regulate them. It’s not a problem I’ve suffered from myself, I’m sure someone will be along with more help. But don’t be too hard on yourself.

Hormones can be relentlessly horrendous. Leading up to my period used to be desperate. The slightest thing DH would do could send me into a wobble or a rage. Not at any other time of the month. Almost quit my job numerous times but always said that I’d need to feel that way consistently for a full cycle before acting on anything. Period would start and I’d then look back and not believe how irrational I was being. Giving up caffeine helped with the rollercoaster for me. Thankfully post menopausal now.

Crying is normal! Some of us are more in touch with our emotiona than others and that is fine. I have many friends who cry every day, I cry roughly once a week, lots of others are more impacted by their cycle. Having emotions is part of being a human being, it isn't something that is relegated to just children. It must be hard growing up not seeing people express emotions, but it is normal and a little mean of your DM to have that reaction, especially when you were talking about what a hard time you had.

She looked at me like I needed to get a grip and my crying was inappropriate.

that attitude from your mum is probably the root cause of your anxiety and hormone-related surges. You’ll have picked up very early in childhood that it’s wrong to have certain feelings so you never learn to tolerate them. It’s traumatic for a child to be left alone with their feelings, so you end up with all this trapped alarm energy stuck in your body.

Look up Nicole Sachs’ instagram feed if you want to understand more about emotional trauma in childhood and how it plays out in adulthood - she explains this stuff quite well.

And the Anxiety MD on Instagram is good at explaining the root cause of anxiety.

When you’re emotionally regulated you’re less likely to have the hormonal related surges. Because your system has that extra capacity/wiggle room to cope with the hormonal changes. I think that’s why some people struggle with PMT etc and others don’t - if you had good attuned parents in childhood

This isn’t to blame parents btw - vast majority do the best they can but are going from what their parents taught them.

Thank you for the hand hold everyone lots of interesting perspectives here that actually make a huge amount of sense

Especially yours @gardendream 🙂 thanks for the suggestion I will look her up

A couple of days before my period I often cry, it's how I know it's due usually.

@Oysterbabe hurrah! Not to you crying. But to me not being the only one ha