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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to theatre alone

67 replies

InsomniacVampire · 20/05/2023 08:12

I came across something on twitter the other day, a young girl saying she went to theatre on her own and was quizzed by two ladies next to her enquiring why she was not sat 'with her friends'- and they could not believe she was not with friends and kopt on making comments how it was weird she was not with anyone. Which in return made me feel weird as I always go on my own.

Firstly, because I don't have that many friends, secondly the ones I do are not that interested in theatre, but in the end, I kind of like picking something I want to see and not worry the other person (people) may not like it (if it's shit, I only have myself to blame rather than someone else being annoyed they wasted money or that we sat behind the pillar as I usually try to pick cheaper seats 😂), it's just the convenience of being able to see whatever whenever.

But I went the other day to see something and everyone but few people seemed to be wither with partners or bigger groups of people and I wondered if I am not missing out and made me feel a bit self-conscious. Is there like an app where you could just meet people for a play chat and say bye? So it looks like you're with friends (but maybe can make some?).

OP posts:
Original poster
InsomniacVampire · 20/05/2023 10:03

TheHoover · 20/05/2023 08:28

Just someone making up something that didn’t happen and posting it on twitter to make a point.

...

To go to theatre alone
OP posts:
Original poster
InsomniacVampire · 20/05/2023 10:07

miniaturepixieonacid · 20/05/2023 08:24

I nearly always go on my own.

If it's a really rare treat for a big occassion I think it would be unusual not to be there with a group. But I go at least once a month and usually last minute. You have to plan ahead to go with people, find a free night, get seats together etc. Going alone is so simple.

It's funny how different people feel about this kind of thing. I go to theatres abd coffee shops alone all the time but wouldn't go to a cinema or a restaurant alone. And I'm not quite sure why I make the distinction. But it's a very clear line in my mind.

I am not that bothered with restaurants, although you stick out a bit more sitting on your own I guess than in an audience of 400. With theatre it never occured to me to look around at others in the audience, so only started thinking about it when I read that tweet.

OP posts:
StripeyDeckchair · 20/05/2023 10:08

I go to the theatre a lot on my own. Not many people are into the straight dramas ( I'm not a musicals fan) and it's easier to get one good ticket.
My partner will come to some things but admits that a lot of things are not for him.

Original poster
InsomniacVampire · 20/05/2023 10:09

vivaespanaole · 20/05/2023 08:25

Yeah i go on my own if noone else i know would be same level into it.

Also, you don't talk at these things anyway! So no obvious bonus to being with anyone.

I really enjoy not worrying if the other person thinks its any good!

I guess you have a drink before/ talk before the play, chat in the interval, rather than just well, look at my phone 😂? And afterwards everyone gets to do the - so what did you think?
I do like to do stagedooring though, and I find it slightly easier on my own instead of having someone rushing home too...

OP posts:
Mary46 · 20/05/2023 10:09

I think I would feel a bit odd on my own. But agree you cant wait around for people to go. I do cinema alone. But thats during the day.

timetochangethename · 20/05/2023 10:10

On Twitter there is a group for solo theatre goers to meet up that I've seen advertised. One of the theatre bloggers set it up I think. I sometimes go alone or to the cinema, doesn't bother me at all. I quite enjoy it in fact.

WimpoleHat · 20/05/2023 10:13

I love going on my own. I go to watch the play. If I want to chat to friends, I’d go to a restaurant! Happy to go with someone else who wants to see the same thing - but just as happy to go and see it alone. And I always see quite a lot of people doing the same, so can’t say it would be worthy of comment. Last week, I sat between a lady who’d come on her own and a man who’d come on his own. We passed pleasantries in the interval. All good.

MinnieMountain · 20/05/2023 10:16

It’s also easier to get single tickets for popular shows.

EnolaAlone · 20/05/2023 10:27

I often go to the theatre and cinema on my own and never had any comments. Usually a few other people on their own too.

Wigeon · 20/05/2023 10:33

I've been to the theatre on my own twice in the last year and several times previously. I don't think anyone notices - I'd be amazed if anyone commented (they never have to me). I've barely ever noticed whether anyone else is on their own either, whether I'm by myself or have gone with other people. I'm just not interested. Just go on your own!

MyEyesAreBleeding · 20/05/2023 10:58

I work in an entertainment venue. Don't even think about it. It's not a problem. They were an extreme case. Possibly a different generation who would be horrified at someone eating alone or having a pint on their own!?

rickdeckardandhissheep · 20/05/2023 11:10

There is an app called Meetup ( www.meetup.com/find/united-kingdom/ ) which covers most places. It works by people voluntarily creating groups within it and then any member of the group can suggest events which the other members sign up to. The social groups will often organise group outings to local theatres etc. etc..

Clarinet1 · 20/05/2023 11:24

I quite often go to concerts or theatre on my own and I think it’s fine. I may chat a little to people near me before the performance or in the interval; After all, I know we have something in common. If I want a drink or an ice cream during the interval I can get myself, thank you!
However, if you would like someone to go with, I second the idea of Meetup,

Ponoka7 · 20/05/2023 11:28

I go to the theatre alone, usually in different cities. I started this after never seeing a performer while he was alive, because I had no one to go with. The theatre is perfect if you are bothered, because often you can't get seats together and only one person will go to the bar. I've never had anyone notice and tbh I'd like because people offer for you to be 'with' them and the fantastic thing about doing things alone is that you don't have to compromise. I do think that some older people (I'm 55) still haven't got their heads around women doing things alone.

Choccablocca · 20/05/2023 11:32

I have been on my own mid-week to a matinee if it was something I wanted to see (and I don't mind the really cheap seats which friends are less keen on). It's a different experience compared to going with a friend on a Saturday and I do miss a chat during the interval but other than that it's fine. No-one comments and I see a few people on their own too - it's London so I don't think anyone cares!

zingally · 20/05/2023 11:36

I go on my own all the time!! Did 2 shows in London last Saturday. Show 1, nobody spoke to me, just exchanged a few "hello" nod/smiles with my seat neighbours, but otherwise left alone. For Show 2 I got chatting to the woman next to me, who was there with her mum, and we had a lovely chat about our mutual love for theatre! Didn't bat an eye at me being there alone. The woman sat the other side of me was also on her own.

MorganKitten · 20/05/2023 11:39

I always go to things alone. I’d have missed seeing things if I had to wait for everyone to sort themselves out!

bruffin · 20/05/2023 11:43

I went by myself last night and my friend went by herself to another play. I booked mine ages ago. Going next week with DD
I work in WE so easy to go by myself after work.

Original poster
InsomniacVampire · 20/05/2023 11:49

Mercurial123 · 20/05/2023 08:17

Did you feel self-conscious before? Too many people assume just because they feel a certain way, others must feel the same. Those women were weird. I'd have just shut the conversation down and tell them not to worry about me.

In a restaurant, kind of yes, not in theatre, but then I read that and I wodnered if people judge 😂 even if unlike the women don't say anything out loud. Although I presume if you are in a group you dont look around to see who is sitting on their own, at least I would not.

OP posts:
Unicorn2022 · 20/05/2023 11:58

I go to the theatre on my own a lot and am happy to do it and sometimes actually prefer it. I went with a friend last night to see Bleak Expectations and if I had been on my own I would have been able to go home at the interval but instead had to endure the whole thing.

I don't believe the Twitter post was real anyway, who even notices if someone is on their own or not.

OnTheBoardwalk · 20/05/2023 14:38

only time someone made a comment to me was around how I managed to get a front row seat with an empty seat next to me for most of the first half

i told them it was a single seat next to the photographer (who took some shots, watched a bit then disappeared) that I’d booked that day. There are def advantages to booking single seats

Brefugee · 20/05/2023 14:42

i do a lot of things alone for various reasons. I have been to football alone when DH was ill and it was too late to arrange to give his season ticket to someone else, i went to football alone this week because DH was away and this evening I'm going to a very small gig in a titchy pub (maybe 150 people) to see a band i really don't want to miss, also alone because DH still away.

DH will accompany me to most things if i ask him to come along, except Wagner. He will do most other opera but he hates Wagner (can't say i blame him) so i'll be finishing the Ring Cycle alone. Exhibitions, cafés, pubs, restaurants - yep. I used to travel a lot for work and would often just explore the place i was in alone, eat alone, really have a good time instead of all the to-ing and fro-ing you get when other people are involved.

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 20/05/2023 14:45

I spent six months in London for work (don’t live there normally) and I went to the theatre once a week/fortnight on my own as I wanted to make the most of having easy access to the west end. I don’t think it’s weird but then I come at it from the perspective of having don’t it lots myself. My OH wouldn’t do it; I went to a gig on my own recently and he say (not in a judgey way, just commenting) that he wouldn’t go on his own to something like that.

JulieHoney · 20/05/2023 14:46

I do it all the time - why would I miss out on interesting things because I haven't got someone similarly interested.

I would far rather go on my own that take DH to something he isn't interested in.

StColumbofNavron · 20/05/2023 14:51

Those women were the weird ones. I always go alone for similar reasons - I don’t have to consider anyone else’s budget or calendar. It’s hardly a super social occasion anyway. As soon as I started going alone I started noticing just how many people are dotted about also on their own. It’s actually not that unusual at all.