To keep going when ill?

[YellowRice]

Am I alone in feeling being ill and cancelling stuff still isn't acceptable to some?

Got major work events that I'm running (with no one to handover to really), a friend last week for lunch (in diary for 6 months, she's v sensitive), an unforgiving boss, and a couple of kids parties the kids are desperate to go to over the last week and next

Thing is I feel like total shit. Swollen glands. Hacking cough. A weird pain under my left rib that has just come up. Hot and cold. And I've just been continuing with strong coffee and painkillers and hiding in the loo at work to cough

I'm passing my germs on probably (though my family seem fine). I just don't feel I can go to bed for a week without letting pretty much everyone down. I know my boss rolls her eyes at people being ill.

I know you're all going to say I'm pathetic but do all other working busy mums genuinely stop it all when they get ill?

Are you working this weekend?

If not, and there are no parties etc, have a lazy weekend this weekend.

Duvet day on the sofa, stick a film on for the kids.

I don’t think you’re in the slightest bit pathetic but just because people aren’t understanding of you being ill doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong.

If your friend isn’t understanding of you needing to cancel because you feel very unwell then that’s on her (unless you have form for flaking out on meet ups at short notice without good reason).

Birthday parties- I’d see if someone else could take them as a favour. If that’s not possible then they just won’t be able to go and that’s a shame but not the end of the world.

Id try to prioritise work over the social stuff but if you are too ill to work then you’re too ill and really your workplace needs to have contingency plans in place for you not being around.

I do tend to just carry on, you're right that no one has any patience for ill people.

Except that recently I had flu and carrying on was not an option. I was in bed for 3 days and had to call in sick for the first time in 10 years. Tried to start doing stuff after that and WFH but was so ridiculously unproductive there was little point in me being there. I developed pleurisy and it took me a full month to recover from it. I probably would have recovered faster if I'd rested properly.

I'm useless when I'm ill. I usually take to my bed (apart from stuff I absolutely have to do like school runs) and generally feel better after 2 days or so. The couple of occasions I've tried to push through it's just made it last longer and I've ended up taking time off anyway.

Feel better soon, OP 💐

of course don’t go out if you feel shit. A good friend will understand just like you would understand in reverse.
you know if you are a flake or not.

work is different. Especially if you are in a position of responsibility. If I am key to something important I will work when feeling like death but I will take time off if I am just missing routine.

Sometimes carrying on can make the recovery longer. Don’t be afraid of backing out of stuff.

It wasn’t until I finally got a chronic health diagnosis that I realised that this was actually ok and this is what I needed to do for me.

Work full time with DC and if I get I’ll I have to stop and give my body time to recover.

Also - that weird sensation under your left ribs… can you describe it? Worth getting checked out.

These days I WFH and go to bed when the DC do. And on Sunday when DH isn’t working he’ll take over (and vice versa if he’s sick, I’ll make sure he rests on a Sunday). The WFH option has removed the days when I would go to work feeling like death warmed up. But I am so aware as an adult that different people have very different experiences of being unwell so I’d never buff if a friend cancelled (although I have one very dear flake who cancels if she sneezed yesterday…and has done for 25 years, there I do sigh slightly!).