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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teen Challenge

5 replies

duvetday9 · 19/05/2023 19:55

Short version :
I divorced last summer, after 12 years of marriage. My wish. I have 2 children, now 15 and 20. Ex h havent seen my kids since Christmas, children Said he has new girlfriend then. (They are friends on Facebook)
Anyway my problem is this - i Think, i the last year, have done something wrong, regreding the 15 year Old dd. (20 year Old live Independent) She Think we are equel and have a right to know everything about my life, my finanses, what picture to put on the Wall, i eat too Much this, spend too Much on that - and this and that..
today it came to a head, as she was pissed off i had not told her i was speaking with Old boyfriend . (From 21 years ago, he live other end of the World) i Said i would tell her if anything impacted her, but it is my private life and she should not look at my screen. She was so upset - not so Much about me speaking to a man ( i Think) - but more i "Kept it hidden, lied about it and she obviously has no clue who i am) !!!!!
Is it me? Should i report to her, if i chat to a man??
As i hope not - how Can i get my adult life back? We moved far away after divorce and she is lonely but i cant be her teenage friend and i dont Think this is Healthy. English is not my first language

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duvetday9 · 19/05/2023 20:37

Nobody? We just had a huge argument and i am in my room crying and she is all smiles

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Gtsr443 · 19/05/2023 21:20

I think you've already said it - she's lonely. Until she gets friends and a social life of her own you won't feel able to move on with your life. Your lives are very closely entwined. It's not unusual with lone parents. Don't let it get you down - it won't be forever.
Can you encourage her to pursue some interests?

duvetday9 · 19/05/2023 22:30

Thanks for your answer Gtsr - she is very lonely.. she has been homeschooled (online Class) since december and dont know anybody here. She has Old friends online, but i dont know how to separate us, untill she start normal School in august..
we have talked and Cried and i am so heart broken. I love her so Much. And i am so fucking her up..

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Gtsr443 · 20/05/2023 18:00

No you're not. Emotions are just heightened at the moment. It's not long until August and she will have a lot to occupy her then.
It's so hard for teenagers to realise their parent is more than just a parent. You're entitled to a life too.

duvetday9 · 21/05/2023 10:15

Thanks.. it is just so hard 😖🥺

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