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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Could you kill someone?

299 replies

psychokillerornotkiller · 19/05/2023 14:49

I was at a social event where a we were talking about gun crime in America. One woman said she had lived in America and was talking to an American women who had a gun which she said was for self defence. The woman at the social do said she said to her, ' But could you really kill someone with it?' To which the American woman apparently went silent, and the British woman at the social do declared, ' It was like she have never really thought about that!'.

The clear implication of the British woman's argument was that, of course no right minded person could shoot anyone, so there is not point in having a gun.

But I thought, ' I could kill someone. If someone was coming to kill me, and they were fair minded enough to give me time to reach into my bag and retrieve my gun, I would shoot them. And if they were coming for my child I would definitely shoot them. |I might be traumatised afterwards, but I would shoot them.'

I'd always assumed everyone was like me. But the British woman obviously assumes everyone is like her.

So, in genuine curiosity as to find out whether I am an outlying psycho, I thought I would put it to the vote.

YABU - I could never kill anyone
YANBU - I could kill someone.

OP posts:
Freshfoods · 19/05/2023 15:05

LaMaG · 19/05/2023 15:04

In theory I'd like to think I'd defend my children, but I think I'd be a bad candidate for it. The guilt would absolutely kill me mentally, in any circumstances. No matter how awful the victim was. I worry about accidently hitting a bird on the road, cannot imagine the horror of accidently killing a human.

This

Kidsandcat · 19/05/2023 15:05

My worst fear is hurting someone by accident, eg in a car accident. However, I would have no qualms about killing someone if they were attacking me or my family.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 19/05/2023 15:06

If someone asked me to push the button on Levi Belfield, I could do it.

givemushypeasachance · 19/05/2023 15:06

There's different levels of killing. Firing a gun just involves holding a small metal object in approximately the right direction and tightening your finger slightly. Driving into someone with your car, you can pretty much just turn a wheel and close your eyes. Putting poison in someone's food or drink - takes planning but it's 'hands off'. But stabbing someone you have to be close and mean it, you'll get their blood on you. Or what about strangling, or holding a pillow over someone's face for a couple of minutes as they struggle and try to push you off? Would you do one or some but not all?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 19/05/2023 15:06

I'm not sure that it's possible to say until you're in that situation.

The honest answer is that I don't know. I think I would kill to protect my child. I'm not sure that I could kill to protect anyone else, including myself, but how can anyone be sure? I hope I'll never find out!!

Original poster
psychokillerornotkiller · 19/05/2023 15:08

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/05/2023 15:01

Generally in the US, criminals carry guns (it’s one of the reasons that, whilst the majority of Americans are actually in favour of enhanced gun control, fewer are in favour of very heavy restrictions: why would you voluntarily relinquish your own gun when you can be almost certain that those who wish to mug or burglarise you will still have theirs?) so it isn’t really “right minded” in the US to never have thought about whether or how you’d shoot / kill in self defence if put in a threatening situation. I’ve taken a few lessons on gun ranges whilst in Michigan with DH’s family and can confidently say that yes, I could kill somebody if under threat.

I listened to a programme where I man spent a week interviewing families of a child who had been killed by a gun on that day, however many x years ago. He asked them all what could be done to prevent such a death in future. None of them wanted to ban gun ownership. He said it would be like interviewing parents in Britain whose children had died in a road traffic accident and asking them what could be done to prevent such deaths and them replying ' ban cars'. Its just unthinkable as cars, or guns in America, are just such a part of society. I thought this was quite sobering point as I think we British can be very judgey and scornful of the American attitude but its a very different situation from here, with guns just being so widespread.

OP posts:
Lochjeda · 19/05/2023 15:09

Kill or be killed or to protect friend or family then yes.

roarfeckingroarr · 19/05/2023 15:09

YANBU.

I wouldn't think twice if it meant protecting my family

Lamelie · 19/05/2023 15:09

SisterWivesrus · 19/05/2023 15:01

This:

It's so hypothetical and unlikely to happen that no-one actually has a clue what they'd do.

They think they know what they'd do but that's discounting shock, adrenaline etc

Show quote history

This ^
When I saw the question I immediately thought no, not with bare hands, poisoning or a knife.
Living in England. I hadn't even thought of a gun.

ImOutside · 19/05/2023 15:10

I wouldn't want to, but I would do it. I don't think I'd feel particularly bad.
If I decided I was going to go out and start robbing people at knife point, I have to accept that people are not going to moderate their response if they get a chance to retaliate because my objective was to make them fear for their life.

Tinfoilhatwearer · 19/05/2023 15:11

The reason British police are not routinely armed is because it makes them a target for weaponed attacks, which then means they are more likely to use weaponed attacks in response.

Do not carry what you are not prepared to use.

PhoenixArisen · 19/05/2023 15:11

There was a man who recently beat his 5 yr old daughters rapist to death. I think quite a lot of people are capable of that.

Want2beme · 19/05/2023 15:12

Fiddlerdragon · 19/05/2023 14:52

I have a fairly extensive list of people I could genuinely kill if I could get away with it. If I ever got diagnosed with a terminal illness or something there was one person I had planned to kill right before I went (so prison wouldn’t have made a difference). He ended up dying a horrible death anyway. I’ve read the book ‘confessions of an executioner’ and thought I could do that job.

Was it a good read?

I'd kill, if circumstances called for it

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2023 15:13

I agree that it's impossible to say what you's do.

However, when DD was very small I was outside the supermarket and a car mounted the curb at DD's pram, very close. The visceral wave of murderous rage I felt was really frightening. Made me realise I probably could if DD was in danger. I've never felt that about myself.

DogInATent · 19/05/2023 15:13

"If it was kill or be killed"
... but how would you know?

This sort of thread reminds me of the nuclear button episode of Yes Prime Minister. At what point to you identify it as a kill or be killed situation?

BSB30 · 19/05/2023 15:13

PhoenixArisen · 19/05/2023 15:11

There was a man who recently beat his 5 yr old daughters rapist to death. I think quite a lot of people are capable of that.

I can understand the feelings behind it but he would then end up in prison and his daughter wouldn't see her father. It's not worth it in that scenario to me as daughter needs her dad

BigglyBee · 19/05/2023 15:15

I am a terrible shot (I mean, really, really bad- my eyes go all peculiar when I'm trying to line up a shot and I end up seeing two of everything). So the likelihood is that I would be disarmed and murdered before (or rather instead of!) any criminal being stopped.

I have been in a very dangerous situation and I wasn't passive at all. I fought and surprised myself at how violent I could be, but I ran away as soon as I possibly could. I was only interested in getting away. My husband was away at sea at that time, and I freely admit that I slept with an axe next to my bed until he got back, though. Had there been a gun involved then I would have probably been more compliant. I believe that I am capable of reacting violently to protect myself or others, but not necessarily capable of actively choosing to kill another person.

youregoingmyway · 19/05/2023 15:15

Oh yes I definitely could if they came for my children.

DogInATent · 19/05/2023 15:16

PhoenixArisen · 19/05/2023 15:11

There was a man who recently beat his 5 yr old daughters rapist to death. I think quite a lot of people are capable of that.

But that's retribution, not self-defence.

Like the pram and near miss by a car situation given by a PP, the rage came afterwards.

SisterWivesrus · 19/05/2023 15:16

psychokillerornotkiller · 19/05/2023 15:08

I listened to a programme where I man spent a week interviewing families of a child who had been killed by a gun on that day, however many x years ago. He asked them all what could be done to prevent such a death in future. None of them wanted to ban gun ownership. He said it would be like interviewing parents in Britain whose children had died in a road traffic accident and asking them what could be done to prevent such deaths and them replying ' ban cars'. Its just unthinkable as cars, or guns in America, are just such a part of society. I thought this was quite sobering point as I think we British can be very judgey and scornful of the American attitude but its a very different situation from here, with guns just being so widespread.

Show quote history

That's bollocks though.

Car ownership and RTAs are not remotely comparable to gun ownership and gun deaths.

Only an utter twat would try to compare them.

spudulike1 · 19/05/2023 15:16

Yes and like a PP I have a list of people that I would destroy before my life ended if I knew it was coming. I wouldn't even need a gun to take someone out if they came for my kids though.

DwightShrutesgirlfriend · 19/05/2023 15:16

I agree that you can't know how you will react in a situation. I recently stepped into intervene when I saw a homeless man being beaten. I did not stop to weigh up the risks, it was instinctive. I would absolutely not have predicted that. I thought I was a flight not fight person!

DustyLee123 · 19/05/2023 15:17

Yes i could. If my/ my kids were was at risk, or they had been sexually abused.

cushioncovers · 19/05/2023 15:18

Yes I could kill somebody who harmed my children or if it was in self defence

Rainyrunway · 19/05/2023 15:18

In all honesty I don't know. I definitely couldn't do it "and feel no remorse" like some PPs have said. Not that I'm judging them, I just know myself. I'd like to think I could kill someone to save my kids but probably I think I'd be more likely to pick them up and run. Even if it meant we got shot 😬