This is going to be very outing so name change tho I doubt those involved here. Sorry in advance for the long story!
I am 34 weeks in toa stressful pregnancy. My main supporters are DH and DM. I think I have made a rod for my own back by occasionally moaning about each of them to the other so I have come here to rant a bit instead.
I feel my mum has been trying to care for me but she just has such a judgemental way of doing it.
I tested positive for Covid yesterday and I feel pretty rough. Her response: "how have you got Covid? And does this mean we have it too? "
Bit cold seeing as I am just living normal life, I'm not going round seeking out and licking Covid patients! Plus me and DH seem to be the only ones who still mask and sanitize when we go to the hospital. I told her she probably gave it to us which she did not like.
Week before I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes. " What were you doing wrong then? You obviously need to loose some weight!"
Well all the nurses and information videos I have seen have said it's not my fault it's something in my hormones and I am hardly planning to loose weight at 33 weeks pregnant!
She is convinced that because she has twice found take away packaging in our house that we have take aways " all the time". No matter how often I tell her that's not true! We probably have take aways every other week and not even the most unhealthy ones normally! And yes I had a more few ice creams and sweet treats during my pregnancy - half of which she bought me but i had cravings (all of this before GD diagnosis, I am much more strict now, no sugar minimal carbs etc.)
I have also had to change my excercise routine during pregnancy, but in general I do some excercise everyday and even before GD are v healthy meals - lots of fruit and veg ect.
At 12 weeks, a few days before my scan, I slipped on some ice and broke my arm. Honestly terrified that I had hurt my baby I immediately called mum and dad to take me to hospital (DH was at work).
I'd been out walking the dog and had a choice between two directions, I picked the one that looked like frosty path rather than clear ice but it turned out to be slippery and down I went. Luckily for baby and the rest of me my right arm took virtually all of the impact.
She constantly picks the story, made me go back to the area afterwards " is this where you fell over? How did you do that! It's not even that steep! " (No mum, it was icy then remember)
On top of that I have DH who will not forgive the dog for " pulling me over" because, as with my mum, it doesn't matter how many times I say it DID NOT happen like that, they do not listen.
DM and MIL both saying I should have "insisted" on having a lead blanket when going for an x-ray, I did insist. The Drs said the latest research was showing that the blanket actually posed a bigger risk than doing it without when x-raying extremities. Should I have not believed them?
And then right at the begging of my pregnancy, before I knew I was pregnant I started getting shoulder tip pain. I had previously had an early miscarriage where the DRs kept asking about shoulder pain so I knew this could be related to ectopic pregnancy. I got a faint positive pregnancy test, called 111 and they ended up getting me an ambulance to A &E. For some reason I still felt like it was "probably nothing" looking at the stats of how rare it was and that I didn't have any other symptoms - long story short I called my DH to come in but didn't tell my mum until I had been fully admitted to hospital and it was clear I was going to be there for a while. She came in to "look after" me and I told her about the previous miscarriage which I had been struggling to talk about and she was so angry at me, called my dad and said I had been lying to them because I hadn't told them about the miscarriage and I did not tell her the second I thought something was wrong. Compared it to things like me hiding cigarettes when I was a teenager ( for the record I am 33 and haven't lived at home since I was 20) again why did I do x, why didn't I call the Dr sooner. Ended up having keyhole surgery to find nothing and the little mischief that started it all is kicking away now months later.
Maybe I am just at my wit's end because of the Covid and lack of sleep but she is constantly saying I need to ask her for help more but all I get is judgment back. I will tell her she is wrong but she will forget all that for next time. (It's on stuff like how clean my house or garden is etc as well) she is positive towards me alot as well to be fair to her.
Or is she right and I have been doing everything wrong?