To ask how you delude yourself?

[Merryoldgoat]

Sooooo. This is a lighthearted thread obviously.

I’m singing along to ‘Made you Look’ complete with vocal ornaments and pretending I’ve got a mic and head set.

I am a TRULY dreadful singer. It’s shocking. My family joke how I’m good to have to disprove the stereotype that black women are amazing singers.

However in my head someone is going to hear this fucking cacophony one day and be, like, ‘MERRY! What an amazing as yet unrecognised talent’ and I’ll be propelled to super stardom.

Surely I’m not alone in this bollocks?

YABU - I am an adult and do not have time for this shit

YANBU - I get it and I’ll see you at The Grammys/Oscars/Tonys

I have a severe long term health condition that is disabling. Until 18 months ago I was still able to run miles every week. For over a year I’ve struggled with walking any further than the local shop but in my head I’m still the athletic person who pelts down country lanes beating everyone on the Strava leader boards - it’s created genuine cognitive dissonance for me as I recently applied for PIP because I am genuinely buggered in various ways and not getting better but while I was filling the form in (completely honestly) I felt like a complete fraud because even though I know how much I struggle, my brain won’t let go of who I used to be.

I’ve got my Desert Island Discs appearance thoroughly rehearsed, for when my earth-shattering talent is discovered, and I make it big.

I’m going to have to discover it one of these days…

@NooNakedJacuzziness

Haha I'm really hoping there is a secret camera in that corridor !

They'd probably just think I was having a medical episode @RuthTopp !

Some of these really have some resonance! 🤣

I also get surprised sometimes that I'm no longer young and pretty. Well I think I am until you put me next to someone who actually is, then reality kicks in.

Singing no, I have quite sharp hearing so alas don't have what sounds like a happy delusion :)

Oh I can sing like a bird Xmas time, doing decs with my dgs, carols playing, me singing along, he said, 'nana, please don't sing this one, I like it' I am also the coolest, most glamourous, young looking 60 year old grandmother you will ever see.

I really really am I tell you!

I spend a strange amount of time fretting about
my Oscar’s speech.

Also what to do when I’m offered an MBE

Yes! Mine is for when I’m a JK Rowling-level successful author.

(Reality: three short stories published in anthologies and a quarter-written children’s book I’ve been “working on” for about two years 🤣)

I stand at least six feet away from mirrors and remove my glasses,it's like a free facelift

All of the above but also for some reason I'm utterly incredible at karaoke. My workmates gasp and look at each other in wonder as I take the stage by storm and show the world that 'Bits and Pieces' by the Dave Clark Five is a legendary stomper.

I'm 52 with a thickening middle but I project lean mod and the world hails my glory.

Yep, I know that one.
Was convinced that when I saw Midnight Oil last year, Peter Garrett would know that I had a huge crush on him when I was 20, (which returned the second he walked on stage), and would gather me up because he'd caught a glimpse and realised we should be together 🤣

I delude myself that I look edgy and cool and angular and punk as fuck in a tartan skirt and band t-shirt/hoody and biker boots. In reality I probably look like a dumpy housewife having an early midlife crisis with overly heavy eyeliner. Pah, I'm too punk to care! Haha

Oh my gosh you've just bought back a really happy memory of being on a cruise, everyone else was considerably more drunk than I was and we did karaoke. After I sang the group I was with said "no!! No! We're not doing it after that! That was amazing!" so I walked up to a member of staff and asked if I was really that good. She said no in a very deadpan manner.

The cruise was the happy memory part, my drunken group's evaluation of my singing skills as opposed to reality made me laugh.

I always pick up a Size 10. And then complain about how clothes are so much smaller these days

We go to Creamfields every year (dance music festival), I'm nearly 60, my husband is 64.Increasingly I find myself whipping out my suncream for some poor kid who is burning.

These are brilliant.

I recorded myself last night just to check and see if maybe I am ok and whether I’ve ‘grown into’ my voice.

Nope!

Yeah, me too, without the anthologies.

There’s a small part of me that is still expecting my letter to Hogwarts so I can become Mrs Sirius Black. I’m a 40 year old mother of 2 with no talent let alone magic

@NooNakedJacuzziness I also do a supermodel strut when nobody's around at work 😀

The fact that I'm 54 and no longer have the supermodel body I did in the 80s/90s is beside the point (and the fact I can't wear high heels any more). I still dream that Miss Jayy from ANTM is going to commend me.

I was painted cupboards earlier, listening to Prince and my dancing was on par with his quite frankly.
DH said I dance like I've shit myself.

Yep. I am Kate Winslet at the Titanic stage with many acting accolades and witty books to my name, yet remain grounded and humble and well beloved. I expect to be the main guest on Saturday Kitchen any day now.

See you at The Ivy! 😘

In my head dh and I are hilarious, we should be on Gogglebox, then I need my own Radio 2 show and to be on graham Norton and panel shows and he gets his acting career with women falling over him. In reality we made each other laugh and no one else, and although I fine him fit, I maybe the only one :-)

• when you have to fill in a tiny square on a form with 'any ailments' and there's not enough room

• ditto 'any medications you're on'

• when you have to scroll down so far to get 'year of birth'

• when my 4yr old niece is about to become a GRANDPARENT

• when I get out of bed thinking 'I will x,y,z today' and the my legs and feet say 'oh, no you wont'

• when I have to sit down to put pants/trousers on

I delude myself that I'm not two stone overweight, and I'm genuinely shocked when I see myself in photos 😂