Is she being rude?

[toxic44]

A friend visits me every fortnight and each time makes some negative comments about my house. E.g. 'I don't like pebbledash, you should get rid of it' or 'Cant you do something about the damp?' or 'The top two stairs are different, that's poor workmanship', or 'It's so cold in here, don't you have any heating?' Then she admires something and asks me to sell it to her - a painting, a coffee mug, a cushion. When I refuse she whips out her phone and photographs it.
I'm tired of this. Is she just bad-mannered or am I being intolerant? She's alone and always wants to fix her next visit. I'm sorry for her but I'm fed up of her behaviour.

Yes. Shame she will need to stay elsewhere in future.

Pay attention to how it makes you feel and tell her that if you’re up to it. “I feel x when you say x, could you not say things like that anymore please?”

Failing that, “I’m not sure when I’m next free, I’ll get back to you” and let it go.

Sorry.. I am busy... permanently...
Get rid.

CaNcel the visits

This is a friend?!?! I think you need some better friends.

Asking to buy things in someone's house is just weird. Is this friend on the spectrum perhaps?

Challenge her on the negativity. Is she lonely/envious etc? The challenge might help her open up.

Rude as hell. I'd be cancelling her.

I had one 'friend' that used to look in my fridge and complain how unfair it was that I had the food in that which she couldn't afford, and another 'friend' who came and critiqued my artwork. The one that critiqued the artwork was the one who abandoned a cat who I spent a bloody fortune to rehome.

Not friends. Not people to waste your time on.

Obviously she's rude. Why do you put up with it?

Give her a call or send her a message suggesting that you meet at hers or somewhere else next time because her comments have made you realise how uncomfortable and unpleasant she finds your home. See what she says. If she apologises when she realises how rude she's been there might still be a chance for the friendship. If not 🤷‍♀️

I've cut a "friend" off for this type of behaviour and no longer dread her visits as there aren't any!

Why are you sorry for her? She sounds bloody awful. No wonder she's lonely, who would want to friend like that?

Yep same here.

I just don't get how a guest can trash-talk your home when you've been kind enough to invite them round.

It may not be to their taste but it's bad manners to criticise someone's home. 🌹

Why do you allow her to stay and criticise your home?

I mean, you probably should sort the damp out. And it’s fair enough for her to ask you to put the heating on if she’s cold - you can refuse though. One of my friends gets cold when she comes over even though I feel normal, I try to make her comfortable even though I’m conscious of COL crisis. You could get her a blanket perhaps. Anyway the rest is kinda rude

She’s treating you badly.

What do you get out of these visits? And if that’s just a horrid feeling in the pit of your stomach why do you keep allowing them?

You know you don’t have to let her in? You are a grown adult and you can have boundaries and apply them in your own life?

Turn it on its head and tell her you will go to her home next time.

She is a bit rude yes by standard convention but I'd guess not intentionally. I'd imagine she is just being factual rather than judgemental, so more of an objective critique than critisism, if that makes sense. I bet she doesn't care that your stairs aren't matched. I also bet the workmanship isn't great. She's just noticed and commented.
It's a bit like when someone says 'Gosh, you're tall/short' but she's applying it to everything. Dont forget she's admiring some of your possions too which is why she's asking go buy them. You're declining and she's dropping it, not trying to coherse or pressure you.
I guess ultimately it depends how upsetting you find her remarks. I mean logically are you basing your worth on the quality of your stairs or whatever? So yes she's a bit rude but not malicious

Total weirdo.

I don't think she's on the spectrum because my closest friend has AS and I'm familiar with how it works. I've tried the 'I'll get back to you' but she's very persistent. She lives alone and I'm sorry for her and I think she sees her behaviour as being honest.
She knows I don't have CH and do have limited means so it's an extra sweater if I'm cold.
I don't measure my worth by the condition of my house; it's a bit of a ramshackle Victorian terrace but it's mine, mortgage free and I've worked hard for that.
Thank you for all your suggestions and opinions. I'll pull her up about the negative comments next time she does it.

Trash talk her outfit