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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 year old on their own at the park

26 replies

tiredandnearly40 · 18/05/2023 18:47

More of a WWYD than an AIBU.

We walked to the local park as a family and the surrounding empty car park so our kids could ride their bikes and then have a play.

There are houses close by - 400m’ish away.

A child from the local school appears - they are 4 (in adjacent class to my DC) and confirmed their age.

Their parent has let them out on their own to do as they wish. 45 minutes and several attempts at us suggesting they maybe go home as their parents might be worried an older sibling strolls along and says “Mum said it’s getting late, you’ve got to come in now”.

I’m happy to be told I’m wrong but I was genuinely worried and for me at least this was really disturbing. Anything could have happened.

Do I say anything to anyone (who?) or do I leave it?

OP posts:
whitebreadjamsandwich · 18/05/2023 18:49

Could the child be seen from their house? I'd be inclined to report to the school - what if someone had come along 2 minutes before you, and didn't have such good intentions?

Original poster
tiredandnearly40 · 18/05/2023 18:51

whitebreadjamsandwich · 18/05/2023 18:49

Could the child be seen from their house? I'd be inclined to report to the school - what if someone had come along 2 minutes before you, and didn't have such good intentions?

No, which is what made me even more anxious. I said to DH anyone who have taken the child, hurt them etc.

OP posts:
Irritateandunreasonable · 18/05/2023 18:53

I would report that.

If nothing else is going on then great, however it sounds neglectful to me.

nannyl · 18/05/2023 18:53

If you know the child and the school report it to them.

No its not acceptable for a 4 year old to be at a park by themselves.

Namechangedagain20 · 18/05/2023 18:54

I would report it to the schools safeguarding lead now, as it’s already happened. A 4 year old shouldn’t be left alone. At the time you could have called the police who would have returned the child home and contacted social services.

RedRosette2023 · 18/05/2023 18:55

I have a four year old and might not be eagle eyes in the garden but almost definitely am in a public place.

Raindancer411 · 18/05/2023 18:56

As others have said, report it to the school.

TableTime99 · 18/05/2023 19:06

I called the police when I found a 5 year old on his own at a park. He came up to my son and tried to play, which was fine, but he was clearly on his own. Took over 30 mins for police to get there. He said his mum and dad had friends round and sent him out to play. This was the advice that was given to me by a friend who is a social worker though, not sure what I would have done if I hadn't had her!

LakeTiticaca · 18/05/2023 19:14

It takes seconds to abduct a child.
If yoi see the child unaccompanied again call 999

Lockheart · 18/05/2023 19:16

LakeTiticaca · 18/05/2023 19:14

It takes seconds to abduct a child.
If yoi see the child unaccompanied again call 999

999 is for emergencies. An unattended child needs reporting but it's not an emergency.

Singlikeyourebinning · 18/05/2023 19:18

I think the parents are neglectful here. If something happened to that child the parents should be prosecuted. I think it's awful. I would talk to the safeguarding lead at school.

PurpleFlower1983 · 18/05/2023 19:18

Report it to the school.

Yummymummy2020 · 18/05/2023 19:20

I agree this is neglect for sure. And so strange! I can’t imagine letting my kids do this!

Original poster
tiredandnearly40 · 18/05/2023 19:28

Thank you all. I’ve emailed the school safeguarding team and will leave it with them to pursue.

OP posts:
PoseyFlump · 18/05/2023 19:34

I’m happy to be told I’m wrong

You most definitely are not OP! I'm willing to bet the same parents wouldn't leave their purse in the park unguarded but happy to leave a precious child 😔

RedRosette2023 · 18/05/2023 19:37

OP if you saw my child on his own I’d be so
grateful if you kept at eye on him and called the police!

IrregularChoiceFan · 18/05/2023 19:44

Thinking about my 3 year old, I can't imagine any situation where it would be acceptable for him to be 'out' on his own in a year. Absolutely report, god the possibilities send shivers down my back.

Bubblyb00b · 18/05/2023 19:45

I wonder if the kid was supposed to have been playing with an older sibling? but still, this is totally crazy. Way too young to be outside by himself, or even with an older child for company.

redbigbananafeet · 18/05/2023 19:55

TableTime99 · 18/05/2023 19:06

I called the police when I found a 5 year old on his own at a park. He came up to my son and tried to play, which was fine, but he was clearly on his own. Took over 30 mins for police to get there. He said his mum and dad had friends round and sent him out to play. This was the advice that was given to me by a friend who is a social worker though, not sure what I would have done if I hadn't had her!

And what did the police say? What was the result?

TableTime99 · 18/05/2023 20:18

redbigbananafeet · 18/05/2023 19:55

And what did the police say? What was the result?

Show quote history

They came to the park. Asked me a few questions and took my details, asked the child if he knew where he lived and if he was lost or his parents knew he was in the park, etc etc. They took him to the station in the end and I just got a call the next day to say the child was safe and back with his family and to thank me for calling. I'm guessing some kind of child welfare concern was raised however I was obviously not privvy to this!

FofB · 18/05/2023 20:22

It's always worth reporting to safeguarding lead.

Last year, I had cause to email a local school with a safeguarding issue. They actually asked me to go in and make a report, which they wrote down. Once we got to the end, she said that while she couldn't tell me what would happen next (privacy) my report was the 'last piece of the puzzle'. She was actually very grateful I had emailed.

Equalitea · 18/05/2023 21:07

I would report to the school.

Loismiddle · 29/05/2023 19:45

I make you right to be concerned!
I hate that parents are made to feel over protective for looking out for their children.
whilst on holiday on a camp site with my extended family, my just 4 year old, has a parent following close by, a family member with a 4 year old just let’s them roam free, as “they know where we are”. The same 4 year old left the restaurant soft play aka headed towards the beach. A kind lady spotted her and walked her back to find her parents. That’s a lucky outcome I’d say. Kids are the most precious thing you will ever have why run the risk??

Createanotherusername · 05/09/2023 15:17

There are no circumstances that a four year old should be out playing without being supervised by an adult. I would ring childrens social care and report it to them.

Ffghhhbdbfb · 05/09/2023 15:20

Definitely not okay. Stranger danger, dogs, eating something dangerous. Wandering further - roads/rivers. When four year olds hurt themselves they immediately want a parent.

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