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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

After having a baby

98 replies

Mostmylarbles · 18/05/2023 12:35

What is something that you think is useful/a good idea for someone who is pregnant/ just after had a baby.
Maybe something that isnt usually thought about when people are giving gifts to new parents. Is there something you received that really stuck with you/helped you?

Looking for ideas for baby shower gift for a friend, she has lots of friends and family so I know she'll get some great stuff, but wanted to give something that was maybe a bit different and useful! Also she lives 2 hours away so I don't get to see her much.

Thank you in advance :)

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 18/05/2023 15:57

We clubbed together to get COOK vouchers for a friend, she said it was the best gift she got. We thought better than takeaway as a bit healthier

Herecomestreble1 · 18/05/2023 16:02

To play devil's advocate, I got bought a shed load of pampering style gifts and I still haven't used them. I had an incredibly colicky and high needs baby and there was no way I would have found 20 minutes to use a sheet mask, and if I had longer, I wanted to use that for sleep!

Things that I did find mega useful were:
-moses baskets sheets

  • baby socks (they go missing constantly, you can never have enough)
  • low/ no sugar snacks for night feeds when I didn't want a sugar rush keeping me up once if for my baby to sleep
  • Just Eat (or similar) vouchers
  • speaker headband so I could listen to audio books to help me sleep
  • new pyjamas
  • Decent face exfoliator (when I only had 5 minutes for a shower, it made all the difference in making me feel refreshed)
  • new, fluffy towels (as above)
  • hair bands (babies grab)
MiniEggsAllYear · 18/05/2023 16:06

FOOD! A voucher for ubereats or similar.
I also loved getting clothes for baby, I know some people don't like that but I loved all the little outfits people bought for them! Preferably without characters on them Wink
But seriously, food. In any form.
Not flowers or cuddly toys, flowers are effort and cuddly toys end up collecting dust.

TakeMeDancingNakedInTheRain · 18/05/2023 16:06

Wine 😆. Something for the person who did the hard graft. My friend came round with a bag full of treats for me (including wine), something for the baby (not really necessary they have all the things!) and something for both our other kids (they were 5 and 3 at the time) so it helped them to not feel pushed out. I had no interest in people cooking food, my husband had paternity leave, there's really 0 reason why he couldn't manage to cook something when he's not doing anything else. I really never got this taking food round thing, I mean unless it's triplets it isnt necessary. A ewan the sheep is really good but the chances are they have already got one, the same goes for anything else equipment related. I'd just get the baby an outfit (not newborn) and the mum and other kids some treats, dad can have some beers too.

TakeMeDancingNakedInTheRain · 18/05/2023 16:13

We did get a few personalised things with their name which I kept, something like that is cute after the baby arrives. I've just realised you are looking for baby shower ideas, I've replied with ideas after the baby arrives, I would wait until the baby arrives before buying anything personalised or gifts for the everyone else. The baby isn't here yet!

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 18/05/2023 16:30

Ewan the dream sheep was outdated when I had my eldest 8 years ago 😵‍💫 everyone has insulated cups now don’t they? Just goes to show why these sort of gifts are so hard, someone’s trash is another’s treasure!

For me I’d like to receive a Cook voucher (we got an £80 one which was like 5 meals for 2 people, generous! Was v appreciative).
Deliveroo vouchers but I don’t know if they exist.
Cute COMFY baby clothes, not dresses or dungarees for newborns
A piece of art for the baby - doesn’t have to be expensive
Cushion with their initial on or something like that

Tiredmumtobe · 18/05/2023 17:09

Ewan the Sheep is great but it’s already on most must buy lists for parents. This is why I always gift money so parents can put it in the baby’s savings or spend it later if they’ve already got everything they need. I’d rather they put it towards the thing they really like/have in mind than buy something they already have or something they wouldn’t have picked themselves. I’d avoid baskets of anything, most of all toiletries. Several people can put one together in my experience and it’s a waste when parents try to use minimal or have to use certain products on sensitive/allergic skin. I’d consider getting a subscription to a meal service, depending on the new mum. If you’re after something for the baby, keen readers might appreciate a subscription to baby books.

Liveafr · 18/05/2023 17:18

The best present I received after my baby was born was a voucher for a couple's massage for me and DP; useable within one year (so there is no pressure to find a babysitter too soon) and for a place nearby our home. Second best present was a box of chocolate for me.
Regarding the"useful" things; well when it's your own baby it can be hard to anticipate exactly what you need, so when it's someone else's baby it's even harder. I wouldn't buy anything practical for a baby.
Baby clothes etc.. they will already receive plenty. Also- that's my own feelings- when I had my baby I didn't like people giving me baby clothes. I really appreciated the gesture, but I wanted to be dress my baby with the clothes that I found cute, not the ones other people found cute. I wanted to be the only one who got to dress him. I can't fully explain why but it was my thing. While I warmly thanked people who gave us baby clothes, I mostly didn't use them.
Homemade meals will always be appreciated. It's one thing you can't go wrong.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 18/05/2023 23:18

Wishawisha · 18/05/2023 13:22

Yes, JustEat or Deliveroo vouchers would also be good.

I would actually caution away from the basket of useful things idea. A lot of things I was gifted by friends who wanted to give me things that I would “actually need” never got used - I got those things that hold socks on for instance, and never really understood the appeal. At least half of what my friends told me they couldn’t live without I never used. And you certainly don’t want to give things like dummies or whatever unless you know the person is dead set on using a dummy. I think I’d have found a dummy quite condescending in a “you may think you won’t use one, but I know better!” way.

I was dead set against using a dummy. When I was given the basket of useful stuff you don’t think about (or as I call it, the goody bag of things you don’t know you need until you need them), I smiled and thanked my friend and mentally planned on regifting it.

At 2am, with an upset baby in my arms, and having tried everything else o could think of, I gave her a dummy. She liked it, quietened down, and we haven’t looked back since.

If I hadn’t been given a dummy as a gift, I wouldn’t not have bought one myself, and would not have known how effective it is in my baby.

See also: high chairs. I didn’t want one of those either. DH convinced me and DD loved her high chair.

Eggs2022 · 18/05/2023 23:26

The cleva mamma cushion the baby can sit up against with the head cushion… number 1 thing I couldn’t have lived without 🙈 I got my own thermometer etc as I knew I’d need them so i think there’d be a danger of doubling up with things like that!

MuddaUdders · 19/05/2023 03:29

A baby footprint kit is gift worthy and something that can be cherished forever

www.lucycoggle.co.uk/collections/the-original-baby-footprint-kits

haloangel · 19/05/2023 03:37

Home cooked food or voucher so anything to save time cooking!

Basket of dry treats to scoff during night feeds

Cleaning the house!

Snot sucker
Thermometer
Nappy bags

These are all the things I would have loved.

Don't do what some people do and come round, and expect to be waited on with tea and biccies while your boobs are leaking milk.

JandalsAlways · 19/05/2023 03:55

YouWonJayne · 18/05/2023 12:45

Everyone always buys stuff for the baby, my favourite gift after having my first DC was a pamper pack for me - bubble bath, face masks, a bottle of fizz, bath bomb, a voucher for afternoon tea etc. I LOVED it, it’s about the mum too and I felt very special my lovely friend thought of me not just the baby

This

JandalsAlways · 19/05/2023 03:56

Better yet, your time. Go over for a few hours and look after the baby so she can go out for a coffee or have a bath etc. That to me is really thoughtful

Confusion101 · 19/05/2023 04:23

I agree with everyone saying food / Coffee shop vouchers. Both practical as they need to eat or drink coffee but it's such a treat to not have to prepare it yourself.

Depending on budget or if you have a few friends thar can go together, UGG Slippers would probably be top of my list. So handy, so comfortable, I use mine every single day and wouldve loved to have had them in the hosp too tbh.

I got a really nice shower oil that really moisturised my skin so I didn't need to when I get out of the shower. It was expensive but I love it. All the other "self care" type products I've used in a grab in a rush jumping into the shower kinda way, and a large proportion of them are sitting in a press. So while these self care hampers did make me feel amazing when I get them, it wasn't used much at all. Similar to hamper of baby bath bits tbh.

Beginningless · 19/05/2023 07:39

MuddaUdders · 19/05/2023 03:29

A baby footprint kit is gift worthy and something that can be cherished forever

www.lucycoggle.co.uk/collections/the-original-baby-footprint-kits

I have to politely disagree, perhaps just reflective of my disorganisation but as a new mum I did not have time to brush my hair let alone to be faffing about with this kind of stuff! This was a gift that went unused and given to charity shop.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 19/05/2023 07:41

Beginningless · 19/05/2023 07:39

I have to politely disagree, perhaps just reflective of my disorganisation but as a new mum I did not have time to brush my hair let alone to be faffing about with this kind of stuff! This was a gift that went unused and given to charity shop.

Show quote history

I totally see that. Although my sister is so disorganised she sent me one of these as new baby present SIX WEEKS LATE so my baby’s feet were already bigger than they were when she was born and I was sad 😢 nice pressie though IMO! Takes about 1 min to do.

Beginningless · 19/05/2023 07:46

I can imagine it is nice to have. Maybe the solution if giving that as a gift is to come and do it for the family and present it to them rather than give them more tasks to do, no matter how easy!

RitaCrudgington · 19/05/2023 07:51

PiriPiriChicken · 18/05/2023 14:33

Someone got me what I like to call a Mega Sudocrem. And nothing else. Just a nice card and a Mega Sudo. At the time I was like “mate, I’m swimming in Sudo but thanks”

Less than 3 months later, I was cracking into that Mega Sudo with purpose. Smashed my way through that Mega Sudo. It was my bezzie mate.

The babygros they wear once are nice and the tiny rabbits stitched to tiny blankets are sweet. I never used a single well-meaning face mask, I’m afraid.

Mega Sudo. Do it.

You see that's why we're all different. I got a tiny doll size tub of Sudocream in my first Bounty bag and was still using it for my second baby (I only applied it when they actually had nappy rash and they hardly ever had nappy rash until they started to go to nursery).

My favourite gift was a tube of Lansinoh. Actual lifesaver. And my mum made me a few lasagnes for the freezer - also great.

shoopshoopdedoo · 19/05/2023 08:04

SunnySaturdayMorning · 18/05/2023 13:37

I hated that thing! Totally useless for us. So many times nearly threw the bastard out the window 😂

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Same!! People swear by it but it never worked for us.

I’d agree with the others saying that food was by far and away the most useful gift! Got sent some lovely frozen meals and they were a lifesaver. Cakes and brownies are always well received. Cook or Deliveroo vouchers would be fab.

Obviously, any gift is lovely, but your friend will probably be inundated with baby clothes and comforters! If getting baby clothes, something nice (and seasonally appropriate) for when baby is 6 months plus is handy as most people get newborn bits and then you suddenly have nothing when they grow out of it all.

Confusion101 · 19/05/2023 08:08

If getting baby clothes, something nice (and seasonally appropriate) for when baby is 6 months plus is handy as most people get newborn bits

Funnily enough I think everyone has now gotten this idea in recent times so I was left with no newborn clothes and lots and lots for 6 months plus 😂

PiriPiriChicken · 19/05/2023 08:17

RitaCrudgington · 19/05/2023 07:51

You see that's why we're all different. I got a tiny doll size tub of Sudocream in my first Bounty bag and was still using it for my second baby (I only applied it when they actually had nappy rash and they hardly ever had nappy rash until they started to go to nursery).

My favourite gift was a tube of Lansinoh. Actual lifesaver. And my mum made me a few lasagnes for the freezer - also great.

Show quote history

Nappy rash is 10% of Sudocrem use in my house.

Pimples / acne, blisters, sun burn, insect bites, cuts, grazes, scalds. Also, my section scar gobbles it up. 😂

My eldest is now a pre-teen and she still applies it to her spots at night!

Someone once told me it’s also a great anti-wrinkle cream 🤷🏻‍♀️

NoIncomeTaxNoVAT · 19/05/2023 08:18

Moraxella · 18/05/2023 12:52

Cook vouchers!

^^ This was the most appreciated gift that we got!

violetcuriosity · 19/05/2023 08:42

Deliveroo voucher

Pyri · 19/05/2023 08:47

DifficultBloodyWoman · 18/05/2023 23:18

I was dead set against using a dummy. When I was given the basket of useful stuff you don’t think about (or as I call it, the goody bag of things you don’t know you need until you need them), I smiled and thanked my friend and mentally planned on regifting it.

At 2am, with an upset baby in my arms, and having tried everything else o could think of, I gave her a dummy. She liked it, quietened down, and we haven’t looked back since.

If I hadn’t been given a dummy as a gift, I wouldn’t not have bought one myself, and would not have known how effective it is in my baby.

See also: high chairs. I didn’t want one of those either. DH convinced me and DD loved her high chair.

Show quote history

See also: high chairs. I didn’t want one of those either. DH convinced me and DD loved her high chair.

what did you plan to use for weaning if not a high chair?