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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving DD at home

12 replies

Anoushkaka · 18/05/2023 07:13

I usually go to Spain for 4 weeks every summer as my Aunt owns a house there. I go with the kids for two weeks on my own and DH follows us over two weeks later.

The last few months have been very stressful for me. My health hasn't been great but getting sorted and lots of external stress from DHs family and my own mother.

I'm thinking about going on holidays for a bit longer this year to recharge. DH is on board and totally agrees that I need a break. We have 3 DC aged 11,13 and 15. I would have to leave the 13 year old at home as she plays a sport at quite a high level and she couldn't miss 7 weeks from it. She is totally fine with me going. She is a very easy, laid back and responsible girl. I just feel tremendous guilt. The longest I've been away from any of my children is two days and that was for a wedding about 4 years ago.

Should I go?.

OP posts:
TVWife · 18/05/2023 07:16

She will be fine. I assume DH will be there.

Fruitful82 · 18/05/2023 07:19

The key is

what is her relationship like with her father? Presumably good if she’s totally fine with it

Original poster
Anoushkaka · 18/05/2023 07:22

DH will be here but in work. He works about a twenty minute drive away. Will be home at 4pm Monday to Thursday and 2.30pm on Fridays. We have brilliant neighbours and live in a safe area. She usually only goes out about once a week with her friends and that would be for about three hours to the local shopping centre to get food and look in the shops. Her sport will see her training at least three evenings. DH said he will make sure they do activities together like cinema, bowling etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anoushkaka · 18/05/2023 07:23

Fruitful82 · 18/05/2023 07:19

The key is

what is her relationship like with her father? Presumably good if she’s totally fine with it

They have a great relationship. Shared interests and get on so no issues there.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 18/05/2023 07:24

Am sure she'll be fine, as long as she is given the option to come or not. Will your aunt be OK with you being there for 7 weeks? There's not other family who use it? And will you get this much leave from work?

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 18/05/2023 07:25

Does your dh feel guilt that he is away from the other two for five weeks? When you reverse it you will not feel so guilty. She is 13, with her father and it is her choice. If money is not an issue could you fly back to see her half way through?

Original poster
Anoushkaka · 18/05/2023 07:27

MichelleScarn · 18/05/2023 07:24

Am sure she'll be fine, as long as she is given the option to come or not. Will your aunt be OK with you being there for 7 weeks? There's not other family who use it? And will you get this much leave from work?

She is happy to stay at home and continue with her sport. I will only be staying in my Aunts for the usual four weeks. I have found another property to rent close by for the other three weeks. I'm medically retired from work.

OP posts:
HollyGolightly4 · 18/05/2023 07:29

I voted YABU because I thought you were leaving her hom alone. You're definitely not unreasonable 🤣

Original poster
Anoushkaka · 18/05/2023 07:29

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 18/05/2023 07:25

Does your dh feel guilt that he is away from the other two for five weeks? When you reverse it you will not feel so guilty. She is 13, with her father and it is her choice. If money is not an issue could you fly back to see her half way through?

I understand what you are saying. It's the Mum guilt. DH has said he will try and fly out for a long weekend.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anoushkaka · 18/05/2023 07:29

HollyGolightly4 · 18/05/2023 07:29

I voted YABU because I thought you were leaving her hom alone. You're definitely not unreasonable 🤣

😆😆😆

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 18/05/2023 07:31

Then absolutely go and enjoy your holiday!! It's meant to be making you feel better not cause more stress! 😉

Franticbutterfly · 18/05/2023 17:29

If DH is there then there is no problem as far as I can see.

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