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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can I fix this

2 replies

MistakesMade · 17/05/2023 20:33

This isnt just a AIBU but also looking for advice from other viewpoints. I won't drip feed so I'm sorry if this is long.

I've been dating a girl for roughly around 6 and a half months. Shes amazing, ticks all the boxes and I really think I'm falling for her. The problem is I made a few mistakes in the beginning that she is now fixating on and due to rumours circulating it's only getting worse instead of better.

The issues are that (before current gf) I had a friends with benefits that I stupidly responded to kissing her several times in the early days of my new relationship. I didnt think things were going anywhere with gf but i regretted the kisses and immediately told FWB that i had met someone else. She obviously didnt take this well. There are now rumours circulating that I am using my gf to make fwb jealous and that there is more to our friendship which isn't true.

The girl in question is a friend only and I have made it clear to gf that this will never change, so if she wanted to hang out I wouldn't think twice.

My questions are... am I unreasonable here? And is there anyway I can make gf believe me and make this work? I really like her :(

OP posts:
rainraingoawaay · 17/05/2023 20:46

The girl in question is a friend only and I have made it clear to gf that this will never change, so if she wanted to hang out I wouldn't think twice.

She's not just a friend only though, if you had a FWB situation and cheated on your current girlfriend with her? You are completely unreasonable to expect to continue a friendship / relationship with someone you cheated on your partner with and "hang out" with them. If that's never going to change then I think you should rethink your current relationship.

She's not "fixating" on anything imo, she's dealing with the fact you cheated and it seems common knowledge.

Freshair87 · 17/05/2023 21:05

Completely agree with the above poster, if you want to fix it you need to cut the friendship off, but this is a lot of drama early on and I think your gf would be wise to call this relationship off, sorry but that's what I would tell a friend in your gf's position

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