Helping Parent Financially

[ApplesandPearsss]

Hello

I have been made aware that my dad is struggling financially.

He showed my brother his bank balance and it shocked him (he told me).

My dad would give anyone anything if he had it and is 100% a family man who would do anything for his children.

I am currently going through a seperation and I am being bought out of my home. From this, I will have a nice little amount for a mortgage and I was going to put some by in a saving fun for a rainy day (but worried about being a single household... losing job,, bills etc.).

I cant help to feel bad for my dad and was thinking of giving him £1,000 out of this money. However, my mum struggles occassionally, what if she gets wind and is annoyed, should I give my mum something? And where do I stop, should I then give money to my brother because his partner lost her job and they are planning a wedding? I am not putting by a huge amount and I dont know how to give my dad some money without causing offence but equally I feel bad that my other parent struggles occassionally too.

What would you do?

I hope this post doesnt come across braggy. I am not coming into a huge amount. I to have struggled in recent months from moving to 2 incomes to 1.

Luckily no children so it is just me.

Will £1000 really help him? It's such a small amount unless he's literally on the bones of his arse and using food banks etc. Does your mum actually need help? What was his bank balance and why was he showing it to your brother?

Guess it depends why he is struggling. Is it a problem budgeting and actually what he needs is help with that rather than hard cash or is it just rise in expenses with COL.

I think it depends on the reason he is struggling and how much £1000 would actually help him. For example if that amount would clear a big bill bill or arrears he couldn't afford to pay and would get him back on his feet then yes I would as a one off but if he is just bad at budgeting and the money isn't going to touch the sides I wouldn't as then the expectation would be there that you will give more and more.

Does he have some bills you could offer to pay on his behalf? That would make it less awkward with your mum and brother. Your brother can always postpone his wedding.

I would ask where he is struggling and see if there’s something that can be done by looking at his bills and outgoings. He is on a state pension and nothing else, he may be able to get a pension credit top up. Does he need help with anything, if he does, he could apply for attendance allowance.

I'm seeing my dad tomorrow so was going to speak to him about it.
I dont want to embarass him as he didnt tell me or show me his bank balance.
I need to think about how to word it.
He isnt bad with budgeting as such. He doesnt own him home, he rents.
He has been saying that if prices continue to rise that he doesnt know what he will do and I guess it has maybe reached that point.
I wish I asked him more about his situation at the time but everyone has said the same thing recently and I thought it was more a general statement than a "I need help".

My dm isn't very wealthy so I just give the odd £50 as and when.
This way dm doesn't rely on or expect it.

I would ask him about bills, or treat him to a food shop and fill all his cupboards and fridge enough to last a few weeks. This practical help can’t be queries by your mum and brother , as it’s food for him to eat and possibly a gas bill

Thank you everyone.
I will speak to him tonight and we will work out what is best.
He is on state pension and recieves a small private one (I mean, a very small one, Iknow it more than some). He has been saying everything is going up (as we all know) and that he will be skint soon.

I cant help hugely at the moment as I wont get my settlment until a few weeks so I can speak to him and plan something. I can give him a very small amount now but its close to pay day and I dont have much money put to the side - hence why I finally wanted to save a decent amount one day.

Thanks all

This is just the reality of life for many, many pensioners - you get your state pension every 4 weeks and you make it last until the next payment. Your bank balance doesn't grow, it stays the same.

£1000 is a nice one-off gift but it isn't going to transform his finances.