To defer my kid’s start at primary school?

[Garethkeenansstapler]

Posting for traffic.

Our buyer has pulled out. We were supposed to be moving a 30 minute drive away, and we were on track to be moved in by the time DD starts school in September. Now we are back to square 1.

Do we put her in primary school here, and move schools when we find a new buyer and house to move to?

The alternative is we can keep her in the nursery she loves until we move - she’s a summer baby so isn’t 5 until July 2024. I’m on maternity leave until March 2024, so if she did stay in nursery I’m thinking it would be for 2 days a week and the other 3 days at home with me, as I know we wouldn’t have any free hours.

Which would you do please? Having a bit of a mum panic…

YABU - send her to a local primary then move schools when the time comes
YANBU - keep her in nursery until we move

If you feel shes ready for school I would personally put her in to reception near your current house. She would learn basic phonics, hand writing and school structure which would make a transition easier. Especially as moving in this market might take a while.

You still need to apply even if you are deferring. Can you still use nursery? I didn't know that.

Thanks, I believe you can keep them in nursery until 5 years old?

You haven’t actually mentioned your child not being ready for primary so in that case I wouldn’t defer based on a house move, you can’t guarantee when the next purchase will even go through.

Keeping her in nursery won’t be providing much consistency over moving schools as all the children her age will have left in the summer.

I would definitely send her to school- unless you have any other reason to think she might struggle in Reception. They adapt so quickly at that age that moving to a new school for Year 1 would likely be unproblematic. Whereas keeping her at home with you for three days a week at 4/5 would lead to her missing out on a lot of social stuff, fun etc.

You can keep them in nursery until 5. We considered it with DD when we had to move her during reception year. I would actually keep her in the nursery, they will still teach her writing and phonics etc as nurseries follow the eyfs framework but she will be in a smaller group, which I think is still a benefit at that age.

Also, on maternity leave you are still entitled to the same nursery hours as before as you’re still classed as in employment.

Send her to school where you are now. Who knows how long it'll take to move house.

Deferral gives a huge advantage educationally at GCSE & A-level so it is a good option if you think it is right for your kid.

You cant just choose to enter your child a year later for primary you have to apply to your local area and then if you move she may end up skipping a year as your new LA didnt agree.

Also I’m pretty sure it’s also based on the discretion of your local education authority? Usually it’s done on a developmental benefit to starting school later for a younger child.
Would they let you keep her back due to a purely logistical reason?

I understand here you’re coming from as DD is a summer born and we would be looking to move the year she is 4, however we are moving abroad and she wouldn’t start school there until the following year. So I don’t know whether to start her in school, possibly have to deal with a mid year move and then whether she would be in the ‘wrong’ year group for her age in the new place or whether to try and defer her.

Have you spoken to your local authority?

Hi OP. Long time ago but did exactly this, although for different reasons, with my DD1. All fine. She only went a couple of short days to nursery, where she was already doing some phonics anyway. Transferred fine when the time came.
It raised one or two eyebrows amongst friends I think. 🤷‍♀️
She's now 23, living independently and working full time. So probably didn't do her any harm.

What happens if the house move hasn’t gone through by the time she is 5?

Defer definitely. However, I feel children going to school at age 4 is never right. I come from the school of thought that you should be 7 before formal education. Here in Scotland children are, at the very youngest, 4.5, which is still far too young, so many, many parents defer. I deferred my own son who was 5.5 starting school and it's the best thing we ever did. Many here in Scotland, including lots of MPs, are pushing towards an age 6 start, and I think it'll happen eventually.

If you as a parent have any control over your children being mentally, socially and emotionally prepared for school I would wield those control, personally.

Often the holding back is misunderstood. You need to check with the school what their policy is regarding summer children being held back a year. If you hold her back, schools are not obliged to put them into reception year when they start at the age of 5. Some will expect them to start in Year 1, having missed reception year.

Where does it say this? Post Covid parents have the right for their child to be 5 before starting school- I thought this was UK wide?

This is utterly ridiculous.

@Puffalicious yes but your child will go into year 1.

If you want to delay and your child start in reception you have to apply to the council.

Unfortunately, they do have the right to do this and it does happen. You need to check with the school.
It's reception year that is technically the optional. The decision Is made in the best interest of the child but doesn't mean some parents don't agree with the decision made.

You have the right to defer entry to the term after she turns 5 but it's up to the school and LA whether they let her go into reception or whether they make her go into year 1. If they insist on year 1 they have to demonstrate why it's in her best interests to skip a year of school.

Also you can still get the 15 or 30 free hours you had before up until the term after she turns 5.

It's up to the nursery whether they take her - they are supposed to keep her if you already have her there - assuming they don't have a waiting list and hadn't allocated the place to another child before you put in your request to keep her there.

I would have a careful think about her abilities socially, emotionally, academic, health. I don't think I'd keep her back just because of a house move or being a July birthday. If there are other contributing factors then I would seriously consider it

InHertfordshire all summer borns (1st April to 31st August) can start school in reception when they are 5. It’s easy and gives parents a choice. I have no idea why they don’t do it everywhere 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t think it’s a big deal to start school when they are 5. It’s not holding anyone back, it’s actually starting them at compulsory school age.

@SnackSizeRaisin Also you can still get the 15 or 30 free hours you had before up until the term after she turns 5.

This is good to know! For some reason I thought we would have to pay full whack if we deferred.

Thanks everyone lots of useful info and thoughts here. DD is my first child so this is all new to me, I don’t have many friends with similar aged kids so I don’t know what the ‘done thing’ is.

DD is very happy and sociable, I’m not worried about her making friends. However she becomes very attached to her friends and usually has a couple of ‘best friends’ in her class which are her everything, and she gets very upset if one is moved up a class (or she is moved) and she ‘loses’ them for a while.

Academically (if I can phrase it like that for a 3 year old) I would say she’s very average. She has good speech and loves being read to, but her fine motor skills seem a bit slow - she’s not very good at colouring, seems a little clumsy with things like that, struggles to put on her own shoes etc (maybe that’s normal?). She also seems a bit scatty, gets distracted a lot and she’s not the kind of kid that will just walk nicely next to you down the road, you still have to keep an eye on her a lot.

I suppose my main concern is just her being happy and settled; she’s had a lot of change this year including a new baby brother, and change seems to make her a bit withdrawn for a bit. So I knew a house move and school start would be a lot even without potentially having to change schools as well.

Absolutely agree. This is exactly how it's done in Scotland. And, like I say, I think we're headed to an age 6 start.

Haven’t you already applied for a school start in September and been given a place?

Assuming you have a place at the school local to you now, I would let her start there. Children who move in reception or Y1 generally settle in quite quickly based on experience of working in those year groups.

In your position, I’d be worried that the school in the new location would not accept a ‘deferred’ child and would want them to start in the year group that correctly relates to their age. Reception class is an incredibly important start to primary school life so I wouldn’t risk my child missing out on that.

Unless your child wants to retake Y12, or Y13, and then can't because they will age out of funding.