To ask if you can or could have a ‘conversation’ with your 2 and half yo?

[Withoutasound]

I’ve noticed DD isn’t reciprocating conversation. Very difficult to know if normal.

So if I ask her ‘do you want the door open or shut?’ She says ‘yeah!’ ‘Water or milk’ ‘no milk.’ So she’s getting what I’m saying but not really answering it that makes sense unless it’s a closed sort of question.

Nursery haven’t raised concerns about her, does she just need longer to develop this skill? I know there’s a big range of language skills at this age.

Mine did, although both were early, fluent talkers. Are you chatting to her throughout the day, narrating what you're doing, pausing to let her say something? Is she in any childcare?

Mine would've been able to have a very basic conversation at that age, but there is huge variation in their peers. I'd ask nursery for your own reassurance, but I wouldn't be overly concerned.

Things to consider (I have no specialist knowledge, just from raising my own DC): does she understand things - so if you say go to the step and put on your shoes will she do it? (Allowing for toddler obstinacy!) And is her speech improving, can she do more than she could at Christmas? If she's understanding and improving I wouldn't be overly concerned personally.

My two (now three) year old was extremely verbal and chatty, but the range is enormous - amongst her nursery friends of the same age, some were saying a couple of words and some were recounting in full what they did at the weekend. Try not to worry too much!!

Are you doing all the normal things - constantly talking to her, reading to her - anything, poetry, the newspaper, recipes, Dickens - reciting and singing nursery rhymes? Children do develop at different rates, but those things can have a big influence.

I used to have very stimulating conversations with the then two and a half year old; they became my favourite companion. Now, at university, they still haven’t taken their saucepans out of the boxes …

From memory, I don't think I could have had a conversation with my DS, because I know that he only had a couple of words at age 2 and was quite a slow speaker. I think I'll be able to with my DD as she has more words now at 18m than my DS had age 2. I wouldn't worry either way... they all get there in the end. At age 3 my DS is now speaking brilliantly and has a good grasp of tenses etc which I would never have expected a year ago!

My eldest child still spoke in his own language at this age. He started speaking ours aged 3 and was quickly articulate. My younger 3, I could have basic conversations with them and they spoke in short, clear sentences. Varies from child to child.

Definitely improving and understanding is good if you give a direct instruction (and definitely knows what no means!) it is more not seeming to always respond to something that requires a more verbal input. So she could say yes or no to do you want your red coat but not red coat mummy?

You really cannot compare at this age . I had two that were very chatty at 2.5 using full sentences and one who said only a few single words until age three . All articulate adults now.just keep chatting and reading whenever you can .

My nearly 2.5 year old answers in close ended style answers. Yes, no mainly.

Her speech is slightly delayed, she probably has 20-30 words and only just now putting 2 words together "no more" being the most common!

I think she's still in the realms of normal but I'm keeping a close eye.

@Withoutasound Maybe cut down the closed questions? It’s very difficult when you are in a hurry. However when reading, ask questions that require a longer answer. Discuss pictures. Ask about anything you see and do when out. If she understands, language will come.

The problem is she can’t answer me otherwise @TizerorFizz . So if I say to her would you like porridge or toast, she can’t tell me. If I say would you like porridge, she can.

I think it’s that which is niggling because she can say porridge and toast sort of but doesn’t appear to know what I’m asking her.

Dc1 no but he only had 20 words at 2.5
dc2 yes

Dc1 didn't speak until 2.5, so no. Although he would respond in hus own way.

Dc2 was capable if conversation long before 2 5. They're all different. If you're concerned , see if there's a SALT drop in you could go to.

Of a sort. He does find those kind of 'this or that' question confusing though. Oddly he seems to find it easier to answer "what do you want for breakfast?" He'll also point to the thing he wants if given a this or that choice. Generally he speaks in sentences and seems pretty good at speaking for his age.

My eldest, I could. He would say full sentences at one. My youngest, nope! Didn't get anything out of him until he was about 3. Don't worry about it.

I cant remember at that age but more recently when my daughter was in year R (age 4) she'd have friends over for playdates and I couldn't believe how inarticulate they were compared to my daughter - how they spoke and what they said- some sounded so babyish and struggled with some words or how to explain what they needed. My daughter is far more advanced (with speech and understanding but less advanced in other ways I.e still had the odd wee accident) but there seems to a big difference between kids at most ages all the way up to adulthood. I wouldn't worry.

I think it’s that which is niggling because she can say porridge and toast sort of but doesn’t appear to know what I’m asking her.

I think that the difference between her being able to deal with a yes/no question to an either/or question is a lot, and being able to answer an either/or is quite sophisticated at that age. Some can and some can't. She knows what toast and porridge are, and can say yes or no to one or the other, I'd have no concerns at her age. She sounds fine OP.

I would say no at this stage DD couldn't do this kind of thing, but she picked up pretty quickly after that.

I agree that 'this or that' choices were quite hard at this age. From what I learnt, they may not yet process whole sentences and understand all questions, I think they more sort of hear names for things and either feel happy 'yes' or not about it 'NO'! At about this time, I remember saying to DD about a juice carton 'don't squeeze it '. And a friend who worked in child language acquisition said all she will really process is 'squeeze', leading to juice everywhere. I realise this isn't the same as what you're describing, but it sort of illustrates that they may not yet be processing some of those structures yet.

With the breakfast question, she is probably only really able to consider that there is porridge or there isn't, and that there is toast or there isn't, not that it is an either/or thing and she has to say. I would ask 'what do you want for breakfast?' and then suggest 'do you want porridge?'. And if you want a this or that decision, I would have her point to things, like hold up 2 dresses and say tell me which one you want today.

No. Probably why nursery hasn’t raised it, I wouldn’t see it as an issue personally.

Children vary so much at that age. My DS had 100 word vocabulary at his first birthday and was completely fluent at two. My neighbour's child spoke for the first time on his second birthday. They both ended up much the same in the long term.

With DS at that age, no. He hardly spoke and was referred to a Speech Therapist by nursery (but the ST said there were no issues). He did have Bacterial Meningitis at 15 months which caused various learning/development / educational delays so that probably contributed to the.

With DD, yes. She was a prolific talker from a very young age with a large vocabulary. People used to ask how old she was as her speech was quite advanced.

Two children, raised in the same way but with different range of skills at different ages.

I've had 2. My first was talking before she was one and holding conversations at 18 months. The other was mostly crashing toy cars into walls until he was about 3. They are young adults now- and if I had to say, I think the non-talker is marginally more intelligent and articulate. As others have said, there is a massive range of normal. If she is hearing you and responding appropriately in any form then I wouldn't worry!