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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Call me a Mug

20 replies

MustBeAMug · 17/05/2023 09:06

Can anyone tell me whether there is officially an “ethics” problem with a Family (Divorce etc) Lawyer having an affair with a married man (colleague). Particularly if said Lawyer is currently acting (in divorce) for the brother of the married man.
Hope that makes sense. Probably doesn’t.
As my name says, call me a mug.
Does that sound Unreasonable? It does to me.

OP posts:
Harebrain · 17/05/2023 09:08

It sounds inappropriate to me too.

BallandBoe · 17/05/2023 09:10

Woooa! Totally inappropriate!

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/05/2023 09:10

Relationships between solicitors and their clients are not banned but the SRA code of conduct requires solicitors to ensure they have the “systems and controls” in place to assess whether their ability as an individual to act in the best interests of their client is “impaired by… a personal relationship.” In this case, it seems likely that an argument could be made that it would be impaired, and would therefore be reportable to their practice in the first instance.

ThatFraggle · 17/05/2023 09:18

It shows very poor judgement.

Why does it have to be an affair? If it is the love of one's life, then you can wait for a separation.

Can't separate because it will be bad for the kids, for finances? An affair has an impact on the dynamics of a home, even where one person is in the dark. It will be to the detriment of children who would be better off in two 2 bed flats, than in one nice house.

Can't separate because the partner is ill and needs to be cared for? They can still separate with him still helping with care, alongside paid carers.

There's never actually a good reason for an affair.

SeasonFinale · 17/05/2023 09:27

The affair is between a lawyer and their married colleague not a client.

SeasonFinale · 17/05/2023 09:28

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/05/2023 09:10

Relationships between solicitors and their clients are not banned but the SRA code of conduct requires solicitors to ensure they have the “systems and controls” in place to assess whether their ability as an individual to act in the best interests of their client is “impaired by… a personal relationship.” In this case, it seems likely that an argument could be made that it would be impaired, and would therefore be reportable to their practice in the first instance.

The lawyer isn't having an affair with a client in the scenario set out by OP.

Wishimaywishimight · 17/05/2023 09:28

How does it make you a mug?

CherryCokeFanatic · 17/05/2023 09:28

Mug

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/05/2023 09:29

SeasonFinale · 17/05/2023 09:27

The affair is between a lawyer and their married colleague not a client.

Ah, so it is. I misread and thought the married man was the OP’s colleague, not the solicitor’s colleague.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 17/05/2023 09:30

Nope, the solicitor is not in the wrong or unreasonable.

CuriouslyDifferent · 17/05/2023 09:35

Work colleagues who get involved when one of them is married.

HR usually get twitchy
Other colleagues can resent the situation
The colleagues partner(s) would probably have something to say

Morally - not great

Ethically in the eyes of clients or ombudsmen - irrelevant

I’m guessing you fall into the other colleagues band.

HappiestSleeping · 17/05/2023 09:49

CherryCokeFanatic · 17/05/2023 09:28

Mug

You beat me to it 🤣🤣

plasticpens · 17/05/2023 09:58

I'm trying to work out how this situation makes you a mug? Which party are you?

LemonjeIIo · 17/05/2023 10:02

I wouldn't be happy getting advice from someone who doesn't care about an affair with a married person. Not got my best interest at heart imo

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 17/05/2023 10:06

Not unethical. A little bit stupid though. I'm assuming the affair partner and his brother get along and the solicitor acting for the brother wouldn't be acting against their interests in that case though.

Just don't blab about the divorce in private.

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 17/05/2023 10:12

Why are you a mug???

FarmGirl78 · 17/05/2023 10:33

What? Eh? Who are you in this situation? Which bit makes you a mug?

Scienceadvisory · 17/05/2023 10:44

Is it your husband having the affair with his colleague and you want to try to destroy her career as payback rather than focus on your cheating husband?

Tg2023 · 17/05/2023 12:21

Is she your STBXH's lawyer?
Is she charging him or doing it as a favour for his brother?

SomersetS · 17/05/2023 12:45

This. This is exactly how I feel.

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