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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours and Parcels

62 replies

Debini · 17/05/2023 08:53

AIBU to be fed up with neighbours thinking they can have their parcels delivered to my flat?

It’s starting to become quite annoying especially now I have a three week old baby, I don’t want to keep being interrupted or having the baby woken by delivery people who aren’t even delivering to me!
A parcel has just arrived, the neighbour has even used my address as the delivery address not just a “safe place”.
It’s not just one person who seems to think it’s OK to tell delivery people to knock at my address it’s at least two or three and I would say parcels are coming at least three times a week for different people. People who I don’t even really know other than to say hello to in the hall.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I just carry on or start refusing to take them and stop answering the intercom?

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 17/05/2023 08:54

If something is addressed to you I would assume it's a gift. Open it and keep it.

allthewoes · 17/05/2023 08:56

Don't even get me started! Don't get me wrong, I don't mind taking in the odd parcel for anyone.

But, I noticed we were getting daily deliveries for a neighbour down the road, and then the evri man told me they'd got me down as their alternative address (without asking me, and we hardly know them!)

Clearly as we wfh she thought it was fine, but didn't consider the fact we are on calls all day which get interrupted for her bloody parcels 🤬

So no, yanbu to stop answering.

VintedoreBay · 17/05/2023 08:57

Maybe stick a sign on your door FAO delivery drivers about not interrupting.

allthewoes · 17/05/2023 08:58

VintedoreBay · 17/05/2023 08:57

Maybe stick a sign on your door FAO delivery drivers about not interrupting.

Yes, that's not a bad idea. A little laminated sign "Baby sleeping, please don't disturb unless it's actually for me!"

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/05/2023 08:59

I stopped answering my door unless I knew I was expecting a delivery. It was ridiculous, several times a day some weeks.

My neighbour started using her bin as the safe place but then never seemed to check the bin for her parcels and seemed surprised that the bin men didn't remove them from the bin before emptying it.

LadyKenya · 17/05/2023 09:00

Why would you be asking if you should carry on taking in all the parcels, when you have just outlined that it is inconveniencing you? Think about it.

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 17/05/2023 09:00

... or start refusing to take them and stop answering the intercom?

^This.

I had a spell of similar at my address. If I wasn't expecting a parcel I ignored the door.

AHugeTinyMistake · 17/05/2023 09:02

I'm one of those annoying people who is not in when parcels get delivered

I wfh one day a week and do my best to time purchases so they arrive on that day but it doesn't always work. If collecting from a parcel shop is an option I will do that but often it isn't. I do wish businesses would make it easier for nominated day delivery.

Fortunately my neighbours are ok with it but putting you down as a safe place/alternative delivery is not on. I would start refusing.

lalalalalalaleeee · 17/05/2023 09:07

AHugeTinyMistake · 17/05/2023 09:02

I'm one of those annoying people who is not in when parcels get delivered

I wfh one day a week and do my best to time purchases so they arrive on that day but it doesn't always work. If collecting from a parcel shop is an option I will do that but often it isn't. I do wish businesses would make it easier for nominated day delivery.

Fortunately my neighbours are ok with it but putting you down as a safe place/alternative delivery is not on. I would start refusing.

Why order if you know you aren't going to be in? That's what irks me

My neighbour often orders, but she works and DH gets disturbed by people wanting to leave her parcels. We refuse now, which means she no longer speaks to us! Win win!

Alwayswonderedwhy · 17/05/2023 09:10

I used to put a sign on my door when my kids were babies asking people not to knock unless necessary. Hopefully they'll get the hint then and stop putting your address down for delivery.

AHugeTinyMistake · 17/05/2023 09:19

@lalalalalalaleeee I don't order if I know I won't be in, that would be stupid.

For example - I ordered something from a shop that said 5 business days so I ordered it on Friday. It's being delivered today apparently and Evri won't divert to a parcel shop. There was no option to have it delivered to a collection point. Do I just stop ordering things then?

standardduck · 17/05/2023 09:22

Stop answering the door unless you are expecting a package.

It's rude to use your address without checking if it's okay!

lalalalalalaleeee · 17/05/2023 09:22

AHugeTinyMistake · 17/05/2023 09:19

@lalalalalalaleeee I don't order if I know I won't be in, that would be stupid.

For example - I ordered something from a shop that said 5 business days so I ordered it on Friday. It's being delivered today apparently and Evri won't divert to a parcel shop. There was no option to have it delivered to a collection point. Do I just stop ordering things then?

Have it delivered to work? Or someone you know will be home?
We order stuff to be delivered to my work not inconveniencing neighbours

LookItsMeAgain · 17/05/2023 09:23

To the neighbours who are actually using your address for delivery purposes - my advice would be to take in their next parcel and when you're handing it over, tell them that they are not permitted to use your address any more for deliveries. They must change the delivery address to their apartment/house/flat/whatever because any further deliveries will be met by "There is no one of that name living here. You must be mistaken. I'm not accepting that package/parcel".

To those who are using your details as their safe space - tell them they must find alternative safe spaces for any future deliveries. You're not offering a service to take in their parcels or perhaps you could offer to take them in at a cost of £50 per parcel! Make it absolutely exorbitant to them so they will have to be in to take their parcel.

Meeting · 17/05/2023 09:24

How do they get the parcels? Do they come for them (more knocks on the door) or do you take them round?

Either way tell them next time that you'll be refusing any and all future parcels.

Original poster
Debini · 17/05/2023 09:25

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 17/05/2023 08:54

If something is addressed to you I would assume it's a gift. Open it and keep it.

The one from this morning has both our addresses on, theirs is the delivery address but in the notes it says “deliver to this address”.
If looks like a pram which could come in handy right now 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Debini · 17/05/2023 09:28

Meeting · 17/05/2023 09:24

How do they get the parcels? Do they come for them (more knocks on the door) or do you take them round?

Either way tell them next time that you'll be refusing any and all future parcels.

We leave them in the communal hallway, when someone rings I have to walk round to the main entrance as my intercom thingy doesn’t work properly which makes it even more annoying for me 😏

OP posts:
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 17/05/2023 09:29

lalalalalalaleeee · 17/05/2023 09:22

Have it delivered to work? Or someone you know will be home?
We order stuff to be delivered to my work not inconveniencing neighbours

Show quote history

They're saying that they plan to have things delivered to home when they know they'll be in but sometimes deliveries come a day early or late and land on a day when they aren't at home.

Eg they work from home on a (let's say) Thursday so plan deliveries for Thursday, but then something comes on the Wednesday or the Friday because they are early or late and you can't redirect the parcel to go to work.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 17/05/2023 09:29

allthewoes · 17/05/2023 08:58

Yes, that's not a bad idea. A little laminated sign "Baby sleeping, please don't disturb unless it's actually for me!"

Show quote history

But if it had her address on then the postman won't know that it isn't for her.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 17/05/2023 09:31

OP just speak to your neighbours. Tell them that all the deliveries are disturbing you and baby so you can't keep taking in their parcels. Just be polite about it and tell them they need an alternative plan because as of tomorrow you'll be refusing deliveries.

CherryCokeFanatic · 17/05/2023 09:31

Put a sticker saying only parcels for Ms [Surname] taken here.

Or if you’re not expecting a parcel, just refuse to answer, or use intercom to say it’s not yours no thanks. It will get left outside or go back to depot and then it’s for the neighbours to deal with.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 17/05/2023 09:32

A note on your door saying "new baby sleeping, no deliveries accepted for neighbours". Be upfront when your neighbours collect, tell them not to use your address for deliveries.

wildfirewonder · 17/05/2023 09:33

The easiest thing is stop answering the door.

I rarely take parcels in, because I'm often out when neighbours want to collect. I do click and collect usually myself.

IamnotSethRogan · 17/05/2023 09:47

I don't know it's not something I could ever get wound up about. We had a real phase where even though I work from home and was here all day, my parcels kept arriving when I'd left for the school run and my neighbours had a lot to take in. They're fairly new and I hadn't designated them, but they were fine and i apologised lots. Similarly they've marked me as their safe neighbour and I don't mind, I get a few a week for various people.

It is cheeky being marked as the designated neighbour when you're not happy with it. Just don't answer the door when it's not convenient.

In the grand scheme of things I don't see taking in parcels as a big deal.

pontipinemum · 17/05/2023 10:02

Speak to your neighbours. Tell them with the baby you're not happy to take in parcels any more.

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