I think DP has sleep apnea

[milkandcookiess]

We’ve been together a year and it’s got unbearable to the point where he snores so loudly I can’t sleep properly, he tried nose strips, nasal sprays and throat sprays and nothing worked. He sometimes breathes heavy and struggles but not very often. He sleeps with his mouth open. Here are the problems arising:

When we stay together, I have to sleep before him, and he makes sure he reads until I’m asleep. It’s really sweet because he does this because doesn’t want me to struggle to get to sleep because of his snoring - but this is affecting our relationship. It puts pressure on me to sleep early, plus it makes him more tired too. Originally he was struggling to sleep around me as he was waking himself up when he snored, as paranoid to keep me awake, but I think this has subsided a bit.

He doesn’t look overweight as he is a 6’5 man, but his BMI is just overweight. He has a fairly large belly but doesn’t have excess weight anywhere else. He did tell me he really struggled to lose weight a few years back when he did a meal plan and boot camps so he kind of gave up - and I did hear sleep apnea can make this hard?

It is hugely affecting us too. It’s caused us to argue a lot as, especially the last few weeks, I felt he was being off with me. He admitted nothing was wrong but he felt absolutely shattered and sleep deprived. Getting up even slightly earlier really affects his mood. He is more blunt, shows less emotion and general enthusiasm. I genuinely miss how he was. I couldn’t help but feel this was an excuse, but now I’ve looked up sleep apnea I’m worried about him.
We went on a coastal holiday last week and I really wanted to get up early to see the sunrise but he refused, as getting up early or having broken sleep affects his mood greatly. So we didn’t go.

He’s accepted he’s needed help, but he’s part of an awful GP. I’ve witness him call every morning and be unable to get through, then when he does there’s nothing left. He’s gone down there at 8am, queued up and then told there was nothing. He has checked the apps. He’s called in the afternoon to make an appointment in advance, nothing. He’s struggling but we are now really struggling as a result and it’s really starting to affect us.

Does this sound like sleep apnea and how do we get quicker help???

Doesnt sound like sleep apnea at all. Sounds like a man that snores badly.
His weight could definitely be an influence on his snoring! Considering he is so tall he must eat a LOT of unhealthy food to mantain his gut. He doesn't ont need body camps and meal plans. He needs to eat less bigger portions and more exercise because that's literally all there is too it.

You should just sleep in different rooms from now on. or make your peace with never sleeping properly again. Who decided adults sleep in the same bed anyway. It is great when you sleep well together but in your case; sleep in separate rooms. Its just not worth it!!

I'm afraid I don't know much about sleep apnea, but I know how frustrating sleep-related issues are in relationships. I sound like your DP in that I just can't get up in the mornings for love nor money, whereas my own DP is a natural early riser. I often have to beg him to wake me up in the mornings as no number of alarms will help, even if I've technically had "enough" sleep. We're talking pulling off the covers and spraying me with water, it's that bad! And then I'm grumpy at least until 11am so he gets no thanks for it (lol, typing this out I realize no one else would want to be with me)!

Right now I'm still up working as I need something done by tomorrow afternoon and I know I simply won't have the energy to do it in the morning.

Anyway, I digress.

Have you looked up sleep inertia? This really helped me understand my symptoms. Good luck.

Is he waking up feeling exhausted? Does he have headaches in the morning?

Will he pause breathing during sleeping? Long pauses followed by several short gasps.

In the mean time can you sleep separately?

If you really can't get an appointment with your GP then email the practice manager and complain. Keep escalating until you can. GP will be your only real route of referral for a sleep study unless you are able to go privately.

I have sleep apnea and yes, that does sound like it. Symptoms include heavy snoring, suddenly waking during the night (though not always being aware of it), and feeling exhausted during the day (which can lead to bad moods due to fatigue and feeling unrested). He should ask for a referral to a sleep clinic for a sleep study. This will involve wearing an item overnight that measures how often he stops breathing during the night. Keep persisting with the GP.

I am currently pursuing a diagnosis - currently a year in. Saw GP last May, had first sleep test last August, an appointment in Feb and a second sleep test in April. Prepare yourself for a long wait.

Does his surgery offer eConsult? If so, I'd get him to fill one in. If not, time to complain to the surgery.

Keeping a diary of symptoms might help. When I was at my worst last year I was falling asleep at my desk and was waking up shattered, with headaches and a sore throat. GP took it very seriously despite me not having the usual risk factors. It helped that I could share the notes of how I felt the day after a bad night.

Also, a heads up that the sleep clinic will ask about other sleep problems so worth noting down any sleep walking, talking and any childhood issues like bedwetting.