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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be slightly reading into this?

14 replies

Curioussss · 16/05/2023 21:22

I recently met up with two female friends; one brought their partner who they’ve been with for years and I brought my new bf. This was the first time any of them had met him.

We were meeting for a celebratory meal at one of their houses and loosely said we would dress up. It was a chilled evening in with drinks and dinner, we then slept over after.

single friend A wore a lovely dress and looked great. It flattered her figure.

friend B, with the boyfriend, also wore a lovely dress, which looked great, and also flattered her figure. She is curvy and has big boobs (I don’t and we always joke about it) and her boobs were constantly on the verge of falling out, she was arranging them constantly. Outfit was basically a very low cut bra and a skirt, it looked good but is not her usual style.

my intention here is not to tell anyone who they should dress, as they both looked great, or to put the spotlight on anyone for dressing in a revealing way or anything like that.

i haven’t said anything in real life because it would make me sound jealous or bitter or suspicious, but friend B is competitive and has been known to make comments to other friends about outshining them / enjoys having the limelight.

aibu to feel that the first time she was meeting my bf she picked a dress that really showed her boobs - not because she likes him but because he’s with me and therefore someone she can’t have? I don’t want to immediately make that connection but it was definitely an outfit that grabbed attention and we were literally in someone’s house all night playing drinking games. Am I reading too much into this?

OP posts:
Red0 · 16/05/2023 21:25

Sounds like a massive attention whore

OneMoreCookieMonster · 16/05/2023 21:26

Definitely reading too much into this. Big deal she had her boobs out. Personally, not my style but if she has the confidence to rock it, then power to her.

Sounds like you're jealous tbh

Busbygirl · 16/05/2023 21:27

Agree OP. Sounds like she wanted the attention.

OneMoreCookieMonster · 16/05/2023 21:28

Red0 · 16/05/2023 21:25

Sounds like a massive attention whore

Think she sounds fun! And aren't we all deep down attention seeking? Some are just more up front about it

Original poster
Curioussss · 16/05/2023 21:28

@OneMoreCookieMonster im really not though. I knew I would be accused of jealousy. Also i don’t think my bf does fancy her. But honestly I’m not jealous, I’m mature enough to own my feelings!

I do think that perhaps she was trying to make me jealous though.

OP posts:
nicericey · 16/05/2023 21:28

Irrelevant really your boyfriend is with you

SargentSagittarius · 16/05/2023 21:29

I mean, don’t you just find it funny?

If you think she’s deliberately looking for attention - and it sounds like you do - don’t you just not give her attention?

If your new boyfriend’s eye was turned, then maybe he’s not the chap for you.

More than likely, he was cringing hard due to her extremely cringy behaviour.

I really wouldn’t be too worried about this - frankly, it sounds laughable, and not in a good way.

mosiacmaker · 16/05/2023 21:30

Honestly no one can say from the outfit alone, but I usually listen to my instincts when it feels that way at the time. But if this is her only fault and you like her as a friend otherwise then maybe you just need to turn the other cheek - I wouldn’t bring it up, she probably isn’t even aware! Either accept that she’s annoying in this way or distance yourself in future. Also examine yourself to make sure you weren’t just on heightened alert mode for threats to new relationship, as that can sometimes happen to us as humans when romance is fresh!

The MAIN thing is, did you think your new boyfriend was respectful of you and didn’t flirt with her? As long as he made you feel comfortable then that’s the main thing.

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/05/2023 21:30

Yeah a bit OTT of her. And sounds like she has form for this.

Original poster
Curioussss · 16/05/2023 21:30

My boyfriend didn’t turn his head and kept telling me he couldn’t take his eyes off me! Honestly I’m not jealous. She looked good but I am not even sure they are each others types. It just seemed a bit blatant lol

OP posts:
Usetherightgearforthehill · 16/05/2023 21:30

Was it the first time she had worn the outfit? Im busty with a short upper body and the number of times ive bought a top/dress, tried it on moved around in it thought its fine and then spent the whole night trying not to fall out of it, it's frustrating. Ive realised the mistake is not trying it out when sitting down.

I think it's a stretch to assume she was somehow messing with you, although if you think thats possible why are you still friends with her?

Baystar · 16/05/2023 21:31

If you're secure in yourself then leave her be, she can be as attention grabbing as she likes, it shouldn't make a jot of difference to you and your relationship.

Confusion101 · 16/05/2023 21:48

YABU for judging jet for wearing an outfit when ye "were literally in someone’s house all night playing drinking games".... Ye had made a prior arrangement to dress up. She dressed up! You were dressed up too. I'm a big chested woman and sometimes I just think fuck it, lots of people have breasts, I'm wearing the low cut top, what difference does it make!! They are just another part of the body. I don't think I sound jealous at all actually. But I think it's a bit of a stretch to think she put that much thought into it all. However it's hard for us to truly say as you are the only person who knows her. I wouldn't dwell on it personally.

Confusion101 · 16/05/2023 21:49

Fuck this site needs an edit button....
Judging her**
I dont think YOU sound jealous**

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