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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make DD have school dinners?

15 replies

Heckythump1 · 16/05/2023 21:03

DD is 7 and in Y2, she is a notoriously rubbish eater. She generally has packed lunch with the odd school dinner if it's something she 'likes' she doesn't really seem to love any food though.
She was getting on quite well with packed lunches but now is barely eating anything, and I'm fed up of throwing food away every day!
Do I make her have school dinners, even though she doesn't really like them?
Any other suggestions?

OP posts:

nicericey · 16/05/2023 21:04

If the school diners are free then yes I would

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 16/05/2023 21:05

Ask school for a copy of the menu.. Go through it with dd. Maybe it's the selecting on the spot she finds difficult?

Original poster

Heckythump1 · 16/05/2023 21:08

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 16/05/2023 21:05

Ask school for a copy of the menu.. Go through it with dd. Maybe it's the selecting on the spot she finds difficult?

We've done this, there's about 4 days that she's highlighted, although usually it will come to one of those day and she has suddenly 'gone off' whatever that meal is 🙄 it's so frustrating!

OP posts:

Tulipvase · 16/05/2023 21:08

Depends how bothered you are if she eats anything.

I’m a TA in EYFS and horrified by how much food gets thrown away by children that won’t eat the school dinners.

Aspargustips · 16/05/2023 21:09

Can she make her own lunches?
if you get a mixture of things she likes? So she has some control?

Sirzy · 16/05/2023 21:09

Forcing her to est food she doesn’t like isn’t going to do anything to help her eating!

Sissynova · 16/05/2023 21:09

If she doesn’t like them how does it really solve anything by sending to her lunches though?

Whinge · 16/05/2023 21:11

I wouldn't force her to have dinners if you know she doesn't like them. I've seen children given a school dinner and refuse to eat anthing, at least with her packed lunch she's eating, even if it's just a small amount.

I would have a chat with her and see if anything has changed at school that could mean she's getting less time to eat her packed lunch. For example is she worried about missing playtime with her friends, so is leaving food so she can go and play?

Original poster

Heckythump1 · 16/05/2023 21:12

Aspargustips · 16/05/2023 21:09

Can she make her own lunches?
if you get a mixture of things she likes? So she has some control?

I only ever put stuff in her packed lunch that she 'likes' , because I just want her eat something... but she changes her mind on stuff all the time. I let her choose things from the supermarket and then when they're in her lunchbox, she doesn't like them anymore!

OP posts:

DogsInPyjamas · 16/05/2023 21:12

Do the school give them enough time to eat? One of my children has always found any lunch at school hard to eat. They don’t seem to get much time at both primary and secondary and she finds the dinner halls noisy.

We settled on her having a good breakfast and then taking snack items that she liked for lunchtime. Then she eats lunch when she’s home at 3.30pm. Then dinner at 6.30/7.

Original poster

Heckythump1 · 16/05/2023 21:13

Sissynova · 16/05/2023 21:09

If she doesn’t like them how does it really solve anything by sending to her lunches though?

Well it would save me a bit of money, but yes, it doesn't really solve anything! She doesn't seem to like any food though!

OP posts:

Ghastisflabbered · 16/05/2023 21:13

Sissynova · 16/05/2023 21:09

If she doesn’t like them how does it really solve anything by sending to her lunches though?

It doesn’t, but as she’s year 2 they’ll be funded so it won’t be the OP who’s paying for the food that’s thrown away.

If you haven’t got to pay for packed lunches (that aren’t being eaten) I guess you have more food budget to buy food the child will eat outside of school.

OP in your position Id definitely move her to school lunches, takes the stress out for you which your DD will definitely be noticing so it’s one less battle.

AliMonkey · 16/05/2023 21:15

At DCs' primary school, you had to choose a pattern (eg school dinner Mon/Tues, packed lunch Wed-Fri) and stick with it. I said I'd make a packed lunch for them up to 2dpw, they could choose the days, and if they wanted more than that then they had to make it themselves (or at least assist, age-dependent), having told me what they wanted available to make it from. So they then get some control but I wasn't constantly making packed lunches, and having school dinners did mean they got a wider variety of things, even if some days they didn't eat much of them. Can you try something like that so on days you won't make her lunch she can choose to either have the school dinner or make it herself?

Spendonsend · 16/05/2023 21:17

A lot of school lunches get binned.

But if she isnt eating the packed lunch either it at least saves you time.

Can you put stuff in her packed lunch that can be used again in another way. Like chopped carrots get thrown into a stirfry.
Or sandwiches get put in the toastie machine for tea?

Nomorebeer22 · 16/05/2023 21:40

I've got one of these. Now year 5. Still wont eat hardly anything in their pack lunch even though they have asked for it. We can choose to have school dinners on the day so for the last few weeks shes been choosing school lunches 2/3 times a week. Suspect she still only picks at it but even paying for it is cheaper than the pack lunches being binned every day.

Sorry no advice at all so not very helpful but you're not on your own.

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