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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister is being naive for thinking she will get a mortgage as soon as she leaves uni

171 replies

thefantasticfour4 · 16/05/2023 20:31

My sister is 20 and due to graduate uni next year. She is absolutely adamant that she will be able to get a mortgage as soon as she graduates. This is based on her apparently doing some research into some new scheme where you can get a mortgage without paying a deposit (haven't actually looked into this myself so have no idea about it). She says that she will qualify for this as one of the requirements is that you privately rent for 3 years, and she has been paying for her uni accommodation (actually, she pays for a fraction of her accommodation and my parents cover the rest). Apart from this, my sister has never paid a bill in her life so has virtually no credit history.

I've told her she's a bit naive if she thinks she'll be able to get a mortgage as soon as she leaves uni. After I left uni, it was years before I even qualified for my mortgage. She's now completely flown off the handle and said I'm not supportive of her being ambitious and having goals. So am I being a bit harsh in thinking this is a completely ridiculous and unrealistic goal?

OP posts:
Batalax · 16/05/2023 21:58

I should imagine the multiplier is a bigger factor.

Octavia64 · 16/05/2023 21:59

We got a mortgage when my exdh was finishing his third year, on the strength of a job offer.
I was finishing my second year at uni.

Neither of us had jobs at the time (although exdh had a job offer to start in sept)

No rental history either (we were in uni accommodation).

I think we had to go through a specialist broker but it was possible.

Mid 90s.

MintJulia · 16/05/2023 22:01

Most mortgage companies require you to have a full time contract and be beyond your probationary period - 3 or 6 months. So she may have to wait a short period.

But as long as she's earning enough, 100% mortgages are available again.

GeraltsBathtub · 16/05/2023 22:02

Octavia64 · 16/05/2023 21:59

We got a mortgage when my exdh was finishing his third year, on the strength of a job offer.
I was finishing my second year at uni.

Neither of us had jobs at the time (although exdh had a job offer to start in sept)

No rental history either (we were in uni accommodation).

I think we had to go through a specialist broker but it was possible.

Mid 90s.

Banking regulations are very different now compared to the 90s. Ie, they exist now.

Backtothe90ties · 16/05/2023 22:03

My DD got a mortgage whilst at uni last year. She was working and had a deposit and bought in a low cost area but it’s completely possible. Although not probably ideal as we said at the time. It’s been stressful completing her final year and worrying about money but it’s done now.

Aprilx · 16/05/2023 22:03

Why don’t you just leave her to it. I like her optimism. I also got a 100% mortgage in my 20s.

Frankieisbackfromhollywood · 16/05/2023 22:07

Surely if someone asks you for advice if you don’t know you say so, or you go and research it. You don’t just make it up in your own head and go nah mate not happening. That’s not advice?

Boomboom22 · 16/05/2023 22:12

Sorry about the hard time, you are right and it's not at all being mean to point this out. Why not do a bit of googling and explain to her when she would be eligible with a broad brush plan eg grad job applied for in Sept to Xmas of year 3 at uni, rent a full flat for this scheme or houseshare to save up. Of course as a uni student she should be perfectly capable of finding this out herself not coming out with unsuitable ideas!! So perhaps not a grad job after all 🤣

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 16/05/2023 22:21

I got a 95% mortgage in 2008 based on a 6 month temp contract, but as this anecdote is pre-Mortgage Market Review (effective 2014) it's not at all relevant.

someoneisalwaysintheloo · 16/05/2023 22:37

She did learn something valuable as in not to ask you for advice.

2bazookas · 16/05/2023 22:54

First she has to get a paid job, and a credit history.

wildfirewonder · 16/05/2023 22:58

thefantasticfour4 · 16/05/2023 20:38

From reading some of the responses I'm obviously coming across like I'm trying to squash her hopes but I'm really not. Just trying to be realistic. She came to me for advice and I didn't want to encourage her to pin her hopes on something that might not be possible. Although from reading some of the replies here it's looks like it might be.

I think what you call 'realism' is coming across like you are a) a know-it-all and b) you want to piss on her chips.

Why not just say 'If that worked out for you it would be brilliant!' and hope for the best.

Either she is right or she is wrong - but she is not in immediate danger you need to protect her from.

wildfirewonder · 16/05/2023 23:01

I just didn't want my sister to get her hopes up for something that might not even be possible This is emotionally controlling - your sister is allowed to get her hopes up for something that might not be possible if she wants to.

People are different, some are more optimistic than others.

I am quite a pessimist tbh, but I respect other people's right to be more optimistic.

Original poster
thefantasticfour4 · 16/05/2023 23:02

wildfirewonder · 16/05/2023 23:01

I just didn't want my sister to get her hopes up for something that might not even be possible This is emotionally controlling - your sister is allowed to get her hopes up for something that might not be possible if she wants to.

People are different, some are more optimistic than others.

I am quite a pessimist tbh, but I respect other people's right to be more optimistic.

Emotionally controlling?! That's a bit of a stretch!

Mumsnet is crazy sometimes.

OP posts:
EggInANest · 16/05/2023 23:09

thefantasticfour4 · 16/05/2023 23:02

Emotionally controlling?! That's a bit of a stretch!

Mumsnet is crazy sometimes.

Show quote history

No, ‘Mumsnet’ in all it’s thousands of members is not ‘crazy’. One poster gave a perspective that you disagree with.

Original poster
thefantasticfour4 · 16/05/2023 23:12

@EggInANest it is crazy sometimes though. You get keep people coming up with the most bizarre theories

OP posts:
Original poster
thefantasticfour4 · 16/05/2023 23:13

You get people*

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 17/05/2023 05:38

I know you say she came to you for advice but there's actually nothing in your posts that sounds like a conversation where she asked for your advice.

In your first post it sounds like she was sharing her dreams and hopes.

What was the advice part where she asked for your opinion and help?

Laura23FE · 17/05/2023 06:05

You are being realistic not controlling in the slightest. She won’t qualify for the 100% mortgage at the moment and she definitely won’t qualify for any other mortgage. It’s not the 90s anymore and it’s a lot harder in this day and age to get a mortgage. Especially with the higher interest rates in the past year.

Truestorypeeps · 17/05/2023 06:10

So you told her it was unrealistic, before even researching and understanding if that was actually the case yourself? You could have just said, I'm not really sure, I'm no expert, I'll do a bit of digging and come back to you, let's research your options together, etc.

I'm not saying this is you, but a pet hate of mine is know-it-alls that profess this and that but in actuality, know and understand very little!

VisionsOfSplendour · 17/05/2023 06:20

Truestorypeeps · 17/05/2023 06:10

So you told her it was unrealistic, before even researching and understanding if that was actually the case yourself? You could have just said, I'm not really sure, I'm no expert, I'll do a bit of digging and come back to you, let's research your options together, etc.

I'm not saying this is you, but a pet hate of mine is know-it-alls that profess this and that but in actuality, know and understand very little!

Why would the OP be doing any leg work?

She says the sister is adamant that she wiil get a mortgage so must have already done the research herself

It's irrelevant anyway as the neithers view has any impact on the decision of the lenders l. No one will know until she applies

GoodChat · 17/05/2023 06:24

Let her know that they check all of your incomings and outgoings on your bank statements - so if she has lots of cash coming in from your parents, or if she's spending beyond her means or not paying her own utilities etc she won't get approved.

Cherryblossoms85 · 17/05/2023 06:24

Just let reality do the talking. No need to be the bad guy, the bank will do that for you! Fwiw it took me until I was 35 to get a mortgage, back in 2013. I waited until I had more than 10% deposit to get the best rates. Getting a mortgage at poor terms isn't always better than renting.

GoodChat · 17/05/2023 06:25

Maybe you could have a read through the information yourself and sit down with her and say 'ok to be able to get the mortgage this is what you're going to need to do'. That way you're helping her and she can see in black and white all the steps she needs to take.

Truestorypeeps · 17/05/2023 06:29

VisionsOfSplendour · 17/05/2023 06:20

Why would the OP be doing any leg work?

She says the sister is adamant that she wiil get a mortgage so must have already done the research herself

It's irrelevant anyway as the neithers view has any impact on the decision of the lenders l. No one will know until she applies

Show quote history

You've never looked into anything to help another person or a sibling? Not everyone is particularly savvy with things like mortgages.