Things to do in the evening

[jellybeanathome]

My husband and I are in bad habits. We come home from work, exhausted, eat dinner, watch some crap telly and go to bed. We do have a young baby so sleep is tough at the moment, but we've been like this for ages, even before baby was born.

Part of the issue is that we both have demanding jobs and work long hours so we're tired by the end of the day. Part of it is that we don’t really have friends who do things in the evenings. We don’t have an issue with weekends - we do loads of lovely things, but it feels like our lives are crammed into those two days and we wish our lives away waiting for Saturday!

It's currently sunny and beautiful outside and I'd love to do something (either with my husband or separately with friends) but I don’t know what to do other than taking the dog for a walk or going to the pub.

AIBU to think there must be nice stuff for us to do that doesn't cost the earth but that makes the most of the lighter nights? What do you all do in weekday evenings?

I take my kids to their after school activities, do laundry, watch some TV and sometimes go to the gym. That’s as exciting as it has ever been since kids came along! My friends with kids are the same. I made it to a gig last week though so occasionally get out during the week.

Cinema
Dinner out
Walks
Pub drinks
Visit friends at home
Have my mum over for a catch up
Bike ride by the River
Volunteering on a committee so we have meetings
Exercise class/gym
Have dinner in the garden with drinks after

I have done some gardening yesterday and today, got gym classes Wed and Thursday, Friday i will chill out.

Gardening, read a book outside, exercise class, couch25k, painting class or something, walk and chat with a local friend etc.

This week… both of us did some gardening, I go to a singing group, my husband makes natural candles (a new venture!), he’s gone out to watch the footie tonight so I’m going to finishing planting some flowers when my 4yo is asleep. Other than that, we did use to just do the dinner, bath, tv then bed routine but realised we needed hobbies! Although I am quite tired if I’m honest and could happily sit on sofa and be asleep by 830!

I think most couples that work long hours in demanding jobs are pretty low key during the working week. More so those with kids. The most I have ever really done (pre kids) is going out for drinks or dinner after work. Having dinner and watching telly is entirely normal.

All of that said, I feel the same as you! I'd love to find the time and energy to do something in the evenings especially now that it's getting brighter. Gardening seems like a good candidate for me!

It won’t help but we’re exactly the same and our dc are much older than yours! It’s exhausting during the week. We just eat dinner and watch Tv and go to bed!

I’m with you OP. We both see friends / have work things but the rest of the time it’s work kids chores tv. I need a home based hobby but I’m not the crafty type

It is hard when the children are too little to be left so have to factor into your plans.
I feel like we are the same,both work hard,by the time I have come home,tidied,made tea,walked dogs and done a workout (I just work out from home using youtube)there isnt really much time(or motivation) to do anything else.
I tend to either go bed early and read, or look online.
Thursday,Friday and the Weekend we will have a few drink and watch a TV series at night.During the day at the weekend we are always busy doing something and I too feel like I just live for these days.
If the children could be left I think we might go out for a mid week tea(could still do this i suppose) or go for a longer dog walk and call in at the local pub etc...
I did have the idea of going to the cinema for food and a family film(but nothing we all want to see as yet)

You should read The Power of Fun by Catherine Price. She talks about how to fill your time in more enjoyable and fulfilling ways. I would also recommend volunteering.

These are all good ideas - thanks guys. We live in a new house so the garden is a blank canvas. I'd love to do more out there but plants cost so much don’t they, when we need to landscape before planting anything really...

I think I've been inspired by the candle making thing, maybe... and maybe I should suggest we go to the pub after dinner more often. Drag ourselves out of the house! The baby can sleep anywhere!!

Any other ideas gratefully received!

Downloading now!!

We read, watch TV, do the garden, play tennis, walk, do crosswords, bits of DIY (DH), knitting (me). I have much more energy to do things when the evenings are light

OP why not plant a few seeds and grow stuff in pots this year? It would be really cheap to get a few pots, bag of compost etc and it’s not too late to grow tomatoes, courgettes, salad leaves, carrots and so on. In a couple of weeks you’ll be potting them on and then your evenings will be spent either willing them to grow or being smug about their progress!

If you are feeling crafty, you could spend the evenings from now until they appear painting the pots to put in your blank space

TV doesn't have to be crap, or something to feel guilty about. Why don't you do some reading of reviews and find something better to watch on TV?

I also went to a well-being talk at work and the Top Tip that came out if it was that going to bed by 10pm two nights a week could make a huge difference to physical and mental health.

So maybe just do that. Maybe even head upstairs together at 9:45, if you get my drift.

Failing that, I enjoy sewing.

Now it is nicer weather il be getting my bike out for a bike ride with my ds.

we go swimming one evening a week

rest if the time it is tv

I don't think most people (especially ones with kids) do much in the week beyond maybe go for a walk and maybe have a drink at the pub.

If you fancy a change could you each go out alone in the week (while the other stays in with the baby), with a friend or a meet up group?

Single parent so all the housework/ life admin/ childcare falls on me. I just about manage to make dinner tidy the kitchen and I one tiny bit of housework each night after work Watch TV sleep and repeat.
I wonder if the people who are out riding their bikes , going to classless etc have partners and less demanding jobs.

My DH and I work long hours and our DS6 doesn't tend to settle completely until 9pm some nights. As time is precious I try to use the evenings to do errands or tasks that will save me time at the weekend, for example the food shop, visiting my grandma. DH and I also do our exercise during the week - him running, me swimming, to again free up time at weekends.

Our dc are adults now, so we are out a lot more, and we are obviously not up in the night to tend to a baby like you, but, from the start, we both kept up with making sure we did something one night a week that was nothing to do with work or being a parent.
So, what do you enjoy ?
What did you do before dc ?
What would you like to try ?
Can be football or netball or a running club........ a book club, a craft, or art lesson or group ....... something you volunteer at or a campaign group ........ a fundraising group ....... something to do with music or drama ?

If the weather’s good, we’ll go for a walk often with a stop at the beer garden. I go swimming 3 times a week. Occasionally cinema or theatre. Otherwise gardening & sitting in the garden.

That sounds very interesting. I’m quite bad at fun. Reading all the suggestions on this thread makes me think they’re all just ways to put in the time till we die.

Things we do now or have done in the past either together or separately include:
Church choir practice
Running a Scout group
Gardening
Gym
Mountain rescue volunteering
Climbing
Hike/walk with hot chocolate ina flask to watch the sunset
Massage/pamper each other evening
Cooking a fancy meal together or trying to make something new in the kitchen
Home brewing
Drama club
Morris dancing
Learning a new language
Sport (Karate, Running Club, Roller Derby, Football)
Walking down to the sea to see the full moon reflected in the water

We obviously don't do all of this right now, but during the week we do a mixture of individual hobbies and stuff together.

I recently bought some house plants, not too much work but good fun and healthy to have in the home. Obviously keep away from DC.
Another tip I got was to only watch something together so say a series or documentary that is of interest.
I like to read or craft for a few minutes each evening.

Sorry - no exciting suggestions here, but if you have stressful lives over-stimulation is not really helpful - you need more relaxing, calming things.

Walking on summer evenings is lovely - fewer people and if you have a local park you might see birds etc which keep out of the way when it's busy. I like this because you get a bit of exercise and for me personally it keeps me away from the biscuit tin for a while!

If you have outside space and really comfortable seating - just reading or having a glass of wine is transformed by doing it outside instead of on the sofa!

Small, pottering gardening jobs sound like a chore but I find can be therapeutic if I've been stressed.