Page 2 | How do you manage your evenings when working full time?

languishonfri · 2023-05-16T18:13:07+00:00

Just that really. Feels like my batteries are so depleted at the end of each day. I have a long commute and lots on my plate at the moment which frazzles me. When I get home I am so bad for zoning out and staring off into space (not sure why I do this) but I know I really find it hard to decompress adequately and think it’s leading to me being in a state of perpetual burnout. What do you do to decompress?

Original poster

languishonfri · 16/05/2023 21:49

Singleandproud · 16/05/2023 21:03

DD has autism and takes a long time to decompress after school. The lower the sensory input of her environment the faster she recharges, so noise cancelling headphones so she can focus on music, a dim room, food and drink as she walks through the door but no chatter - she'll come through to me to chat when she's charged up a bit.

On a commute I'd wear the NC headphones on public transport but not walking so you are aware of your surroundings. Sunglasses or a hat to reduce light etc

Thank you will try both these

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luckylavender · 16/05/2023 21:53

I pick all my clothes for the following week
on Sunday. Game changer.

WhatHaveIFound · 16/05/2023 22:03

I work full time but make sure I make time for exercise. So sometimes it a 2 mile walk around the block, other times it's 30 mins on the exercise bike. I have just started taking a multivitamin as my Vit D levels were low and I'm often still tired but I do find that exercise helps.

I also find cooking helps me switch off from the working day. And podcasts at bedtime.

Original poster

languishonfri · 16/05/2023 22:04

WhatHaveIFound · 16/05/2023 22:03

I work full time but make sure I make time for exercise. So sometimes it a 2 mile walk around the block, other times it's 30 mins on the exercise bike. I have just started taking a multivitamin as my Vit D levels were low and I'm often still tired but I do find that exercise helps.

I also find cooking helps me switch off from the working day. And podcasts at bedtime.

Thank you for the podcast suggestion - and to everyone else for podcast/audio book suggestions. Will have to look for some

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wineandsun · 16/05/2023 22:12

I WFH full time and my job has become very demanding of late. DH works away Monday to Friday. DD who is 4 is in nursery full time. Reall struggling atm so have signed up to PT for 12 weeks initially. I already go the gym but this is about giving me time to reset. I eat quick and easy food as can't be bothered cooking for just me. Had one session and already got a buzz.
I book an hour out of office every day for the gym or a walk and it's made a big difference. But it's just not easy is it, especially with a commute.

wineandsun · 16/05/2023 22:13

To add the PT is definitely a luxury but realised I need to do something for me as the weekly life admin, nursery run etc is all on me.

Sheselectric88 · 16/05/2023 22:38

Also just wanted to add op. If you suspect asd and adhd then my advice to you is to accept you have them and act accordingly. It’s ok to let the mask slip and it’s ok to not cope all the time. Once you accept this about yourself you will be able to lose the guilt, you won’t be thinking about how you have always just got on with it so must continue to do so. You have coped so far but that is at a cost to your mental health and that is what you are experiencing now.
You can find strategies to manage better and feel less overwhelmed as mentioned by the pp. You need to do these strategies to be a good mum/wife/whatever. So if that means you are not immediately available after work so be it. As I told myself and my friend you are the captain of your ship so therefore the most important member of the family. Once you drowned so do the rest of them.
If you can stretch to getting private assessments I’d recommend it. Also Google right to choose as going with psychiatry uk is quicker.

Once diagnosed push for meds. Without sounding dramatic adhd medication has literally changed my life. I now feel less overwhelmed, I don’t feel like I’m failing all the time, I don’t struggle to start tasks causing more stress and I’m able to get so much more done. I’m able to be fully present with my family without my mind wandering to other tasks. My moods are stable for the first time in my life. Fingers crossed for you.

Adhdsucks · 16/05/2023 22:52

This might not be what you want to hear and it absolutely isn’t the case that everyone needs to do it but I’ve dropped my hours. Going from 30 to 20.

Original poster

languishonfri · 16/05/2023 22:59

Sheselectric88 · 16/05/2023 22:38

Also just wanted to add op. If you suspect asd and adhd then my advice to you is to accept you have them and act accordingly. It’s ok to let the mask slip and it’s ok to not cope all the time. Once you accept this about yourself you will be able to lose the guilt, you won’t be thinking about how you have always just got on with it so must continue to do so. You have coped so far but that is at a cost to your mental health and that is what you are experiencing now.
You can find strategies to manage better and feel less overwhelmed as mentioned by the pp. You need to do these strategies to be a good mum/wife/whatever. So if that means you are not immediately available after work so be it. As I told myself and my friend you are the captain of your ship so therefore the most important member of the family. Once you drowned so do the rest of them.
If you can stretch to getting private assessments I’d recommend it. Also Google right to choose as going with psychiatry uk is quicker.

Once diagnosed push for meds. Without sounding dramatic adhd medication has literally changed my life. I now feel less overwhelmed, I don’t feel like I’m failing all the time, I don’t struggle to start tasks causing more stress and I’m able to get so much more done. I’m able to be fully present with my family without my mind wandering to other tasks. My moods are stable for the first time in my life. Fingers crossed for you.

Thank you. I almost worry more that I won’t change! We haven’t got DC yet but hope to at some point soon, I can’t wait but no idea how I’ll juggle it with work if I already feel so tired after a 9-5.

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Original poster

languishonfri · 16/05/2023 23:00

Adhdsucks · 16/05/2023 22:52

This might not be what you want to hear and it absolutely isn’t the case that everyone needs to do it but I’ve dropped my hours. Going from 30 to 20.

0.8 does look appealing. Have you always just done 30?

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Original poster

languishonfri · 16/05/2023 23:16

wineandsun · 16/05/2023 22:12

I WFH full time and my job has become very demanding of late. DH works away Monday to Friday. DD who is 4 is in nursery full time. Reall struggling atm so have signed up to PT for 12 weeks initially. I already go the gym but this is about giving me time to reset. I eat quick and easy food as can't be bothered cooking for just me. Had one session and already got a buzz.
I book an hour out of office every day for the gym or a walk and it's made a big difference. But it's just not easy is it, especially with a commute.

That sounds like a good outlet to be fair! Do you not find it’s an extra commitment that weighs down on you a bit

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IrishMamaMia · 17/05/2023 09:43

I wind down with reading and occasional meet ups with local friends after the kids are in be. I try to do light exercise, YouTube videos or walking but I'm often too tired. My regime often slips. Often watch something on Netflix with my Oh also.

I'm incredibly hard on myself and wish I had a more active social life. I'm trying to not be a hard on myself.

Original poster

languishonfri · 17/05/2023 19:41

IrishMamaMia · 17/05/2023 09:43

I wind down with reading and occasional meet ups with local friends after the kids are in be. I try to do light exercise, YouTube videos or walking but I'm often too tired. My regime often slips. Often watch something on Netflix with my Oh also.

I'm incredibly hard on myself and wish I had a more active social life. I'm trying to not be a hard on myself.

Definitely don’t be hard on yourself x

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Glide · 17/05/2023 22:16

Also consider if it'd your job that's causing you mental stress. If that's the case, better to change jobs if you can. I was in the same position as you last year. Was in a job that offered me amazing pay but the culture and working environment was just so toxic for me and I had no energy after work as I would have been too drained to even manage a smile. Was giving my kids junk food ss I'd have no energy to do anything. I eventually resigned and got a new job. And I tell you, it seems like I'm a totally new person 😃Mental stress does diminish your physical energy and you just forget what you used to do to bring fun into your life

Justanothermanicweekday · 17/05/2023 22:59

I’m out of the house 7 to 6 with work. Once home it’s throw some dinner together, chat with family over the dinner table then retire to the sofa with telly and laptop/phone and struggle to get up again. There’s not much of me left by 8pm and I’ve carried a lot of guilt about that over the years but now the kids are older they want their own space anyway so it seems less important. Once in a blue moon I’ll go out on a school night but I generally pay for it the next day. It’s fine just exhausting. Weekends and holidays I make up for it. I’m not much of a housekeeper!