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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be quite annoyed with her?

17 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 16/05/2023 18:25

Colleague at work has been in tears on and off for weeks. She got cheated on by her husband. I was there for her and felt sorry for her situation especially as she was devoted to him and has 2 children by him.
Anyway, today, a colleague told me that she has cheated in her past 2 marriages and that I shouldn't get sucked in.
Aibu to think she is a hypocrite if she has also been the past cheater and now only upset because she realises how it feels herself?

OP posts:
vandupe · 16/05/2023 18:35

Firstly, other colleague might not be telling the truth. Secondly, so what if she is - poor lady’s clearly upset. Thirdly, I couldn’t get worked up by this. Meh.

Chowtime · 16/05/2023 18:37

Don't listen to office gossip. Be a sympathetic ear where necessary and as long as it's not too onerous but otherwise, and I mean this kindly, just get on with your job.

Frankieisbackfromhollywood · 16/05/2023 18:39

Couldn’t take such a punitive approach. Your on your own there

crispycrisps · 16/05/2023 18:40

vandupe · 16/05/2023 18:35

Firstly, other colleague might not be telling the truth. Secondly, so what if she is - poor lady’s clearly upset. Thirdly, I couldn’t get worked up by this. Meh.

This

CheezePleeze · 16/05/2023 18:40

Aibu to think she is a hypocrite if she has also been the past cheater and now only upset because she realises how it feels herself?

Why do you think you might be unreasonable?

TimeForTeaAndG · 16/05/2023 18:42

So she shouldn't get any sympathy cos she may have also cheated on previous partners? That's a bit harsh.

I cheated on partners when I was younger, doesn't mean I wouldn't be fucking devastated if DH cheated on me.

SaladRooney · 16/05/2023 18:43

Chowtime · 16/05/2023 18:37

Don't listen to office gossip. Be a sympathetic ear where necessary and as long as it's not too onerous but otherwise, and I mean this kindly, just get on with your job.

This.

shammalammadingdong · 16/05/2023 18:45

TBH, I'd be unimpressed that she's crying about her marriage in work at all. Zip that shit up and keep it for your friends. If you can't, take time off work.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 16/05/2023 18:47

She cheated in her previous 2 marriages for definite.
She's been saying how awful it was she has been cheated on but she's done the same to past husbands so does seem a bit off that she's now complaining about how awful it is.
I'm backing off definitely.

OP posts:
growgrowinggrown · 16/05/2023 18:50

I agree, you reap what you sow.

MN is a funny place, threads full of comments about karma, cheaters not thriving in the long run etc, then jumping to support said cheater.

crispycrisps · 16/05/2023 18:59

What do you mean backing off? Just treat her like you would any other colleague.

MammaTo · 16/05/2023 19:00

Yeah I’d back off, people like that tend to thrive on drama and being self destructive.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 16/05/2023 19:01

It sure is a strange place @growgrowinggrown
If I had wrote it from the viewpoint of the woman as in 'My husband cheated on me and I am incredibly heartbroken. Oh, by the way, I also have cheated on 2 previous husbands.' Then you can imagine what the replies would be like....

OP posts:
Spookysnake · 16/05/2023 19:03

Stop with the drama and let people have their feelings. You're not the judge and jury.

AIbaa · 16/05/2023 19:08

Yeah MN is a funny place. YANBU to see a different side to her now that you know she's only experiencing what she's done herself twice before. My sympathy would also be out the window.

SerafinasGoose · 16/05/2023 22:27

Reading MN of late is making me have sympathy with employers. Some employees seem so invested in minding others' business in the workplace that it's a miracle they get any work done at all.

No one needs to care about their colleagues' sexual behaviour, or provide constant pastoral support - a coffee and a quick sympathetic ear is enough, and no one is obligated to do even that. All the shenanigans and cross-currents Mumsnetters seem to endure in their workplaces would exhaust me.

Far easier just to get on and do the job you're paid to do, IMO.

TedMullins · 16/05/2023 22:31

Yeah I agree, karma is biting her in the ass. I knew someone in a similar situation and told her she was a hypocrite.

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