To think you wouldn't ask this of a 9-5 type of person.

[Alittlenonsensenowandthen]

Lovely friend casually asks, what on earth to I do with my day....an innocent question as i have a lot of my day free and am fortunate to do so.
On reflection though it's really bugged me. on average my job takes up 6hrs of my day but it's spread out so quite often I'll have a few hours during the day to myself. It was asked in the tone of one who thought I had all this glorious time to myself and how lucky I'm am, but not seeing she has the same amount of free time but hers is pot 5pm.
It really is no worth getting het up about but needed to rant into the ether! Any other, non traditional self employed workers experience this?!

Obviously she was rude.

some people are very regimental about time, which I struggle with as someone who isn’t. I work a semi shift pattern, and often get shop staff etc asking if I’m having a lovely day off because it’s not a standard working hour to be mooching around.

Hmm, when I was self-employed and worked the same hours as a 9-5, but spread out, I definitely had more time than a traditional worker! You’re not commuting at the same time as everyone else, not shopping, using the laundrette, the petrol station, the post office, etc, at the same time as everyone else. You’re not post-shift knackered and needing to sort out dinner and get to bed; you can go for a walk in daylight – I used to pop down to the sea and have an afternoon swim then head home via a pint in the sunshine with freelance mates, then have dinner and do the work I didn’t do that afternoon. It does feel like more leisure time even if on paper it’s the same amount of time, because it has a different quality. Also used to love a shift job where I started early but finished at 3pm. The afternoon seemed endless and the early morning wasn’t actually that bad since I was an early to bed person anyway.

Totally agree. On paper I do 17hrs client one to one and another 10 office based so 27hrs is still part time so I do have a lovely work life balance. Thre is definitely something about having the day free which feels like you get more out of life, esp in the winter.
But this friend works from home since COVID and does three days a week. I should've asked her what she does with all her free time!

Oh, with the update she’s PT and WFH that would annoy me too! I was picturing a full-time commute person with a set lunch hour type job envying your feckless dilettante ways :)

I used to wfh and had a client who would ring me at 11am and say “I haven’t got you out of bed, have I?” There’s always people who think you are having an unfair advantage if you do something non-standard.

I can't stand rigid small minded attitudes like this. I've heard a lot of the older generation thinking working from home isn't a real job.
People always assume everyone has back holidays and weekends off. Erm no what about retail, transport, hospitality, nurses, care workers etc..
That everyone works 9-5. I don't get it!

I should've asked her what she does with all her free time!

Why not? Maybe she is dissatisfied with her life and is looking at ways to change. Sometimes the best way is to ask friends what they do, eg hobbies or volunteering, to give them possible ideas.

There again, she could have just been making conversation. Like friends do.

I'd take it at face value - she knows you're free in the day and wants to know what you do!

Like the person above who goes to the sea which is lovely. Or you could say you Potter in the garden or it's nice to work in bit size chunks or whatever.

Just go with it.

And yes if she's a lovely friend why ascribe malice? It's showing interest in what you do.... if she didn't it could be a thread "x always talks about themselves but doesn't ask what I do...." can't win!

People are strange when it comes to non 9-5 working hours. I get told repeatedly how lucky I am to finish work at 3pm. The fact I start at 7am to be able to finish at that time to be home for the kids seems to go unmentioned of course.

There’s an added layer if you’re in a creative job.

’Hi. You got a moment to chat?’

’Er…okay. If it’s quick.’

’Oh sorry. What are you doing?’

’Staring out of the window and thinking.’

’Oh okay. As long as you’re not working.’

’That is working.’

I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week OP, but from home and with a bit of flexibility (i .e I can choose my start time).
My retired parents sometimes act like I don’t have a job, ask me to do stuff midweek during the day. I think some people struggle to see any variation on 9-5 in the office.

This reminds me a bit of my dad. Very old style militant trade unionist type who always thinks "the boss" or the company is out to get you and cannot get his head around DH working from home.

people will always feel aggrieved if you have different schedules and they personally think it’s a sweeter deal than what they have, and this will result in barbed questions

my husband deals with different time zones and schedules his own day. The bloke half of couples will constantly insinuate that he’s on the skive if they hear we have a family trip together on a Wednesday lunchtime, and not ‘grinding’ hard enough.

I’m a SAHM. It’s going to be a 3-4 year season of my life, and loving it. I find that people get slightly irked when they know I have ample time to exercise/socialise/be ‘me’, as they think I should be a household appliance owned by husband and bored out of my skull.

just answer honestly and blankly. Don’t let it bother you.

Yes, my DM always forgets I'm working when I'm at home, constantly talking and asking me to do stuff. I put my headphones on and can't hear, but she still talks away then I see her look up and see my headphones and realise I haven't heard any of it.

I think it feels like you have more options for things to do in the daytime so it possibly seems quite a treat to have opportunity to do many more things than after 5 - if you are commuting you have the battle home, dinner and then it is evening - particularly in the winter when it is dark early - possibly less so in the summer where you feel that you can get out and do more. I say "feel" as depending on where you live it may be less of the case these days where more is open later - but possibly still feeds in to the perception that having your own time in the daytime opens up more possibilities and things you can do with that time.

Hmm I'd say lucky to finish at 3 too. Presumably you do or you wouldn't have gone for it? Getting all the work done by 3 and freedom to sort kids etc afternoon is fab!

I start at 7 to get finished at that time meaning I am out the door the days I work in the office at 6am and I get up at 5.15. So while I have the freedom to finish at 3 I wont get home till 4 and am shattered from being up early too. Not all roses I am afraid.

I guess you could go back to regular hours if you wanted? I'd prefer the early starts as it would work better for us.

I've compromised with part time hours to finish around 3 most days, but also the part time pay!

But anyway - they're not saying it's all roses, just great you've got that set up sorted! I guess everyone has perks of their jobs which is why they do the job...

I don’t know. Most people I know work much longer hours so if you’re doing 6 hours a day I’d say you’ve got lots of time, perhaps more time than this friend?