Hello
I am curious as to what other people think about this.
I am an emotional person and have found myself feeling guilty and even apologising but I dont think I am in the wrong and feel that I shoudltn have to apologise.
my extended family (who live in england) invited me and my brother and our dad to their wedding. Me and DB were allowed to bring a plus one. I've been seeing my BF for a year. He lives a little bit away from me and this was his 3rd time meeting my dad (he has met my DB a number of times as we have been out for dinner and drinks). Anyway, my dad is a character. I have warned bf about this. He has quite shocking views and has no problem broadcasting them. We often tell him to be quiet or that he cant say certain things etc.
Anyways, my DB booked our hotel rooms and we have always split it eqaully as to not put my dad at a disadvantage with costs. My BF pointed out this was unfair and was not happy with this arrangement as it mean the two couples had to pay more for our rooms so we could subside my dads room. For context, my dad doesnt ask for this to happen. Me and DB have always just done this. Obvioulsy when all three rooms were booked by DB the rate was higher as hotel rooms dont split 5 ways. My dad got a shock with the increase of price. Despite DB telling him that me and him would transfer my dad £90 to ofset price, he jokinly went on about it all night. He then went on about it the following day at the wedding. Joking with people that he couldnt afford things because we all owed him money.
Anyway, Friday evening my BF and I travelled seperately to DB, his GF and my dad (we took two cars down). When we arrived at hotel Friday night we all had dinner together and a few drinks so we all spent about 4/5 hours together before bed. The following day, we then had breakfast together at hotel, went to full day wedding where we all sat together the whole time and then after the reception went back to some relatives house for another couple of hours. We got back to our room about 2am.
This is the unreasonable part here...
There was alot of chat about going into manchester for the day on Sunday but no one made any plans (myself included). On the Saturday evening me and BF chatted about a few things we wanted to do. I asked the group what their plans were as my dad said he wasnt going into manchester anymore incase the trains werent running. I asked the group a few times and no one had any plans and said they wanted to go with flow and see what other extended family wanted to do. I then said my and BF were going to Manchester regardless as that is why we stayed an extra night.
As the night went on, all of my family said they would go to manchester but no plan. the next day, we all had a leisurely brunch before getting train into manchester. We must have arrived by 4pm. There were no plans and everyone was happy just walking about. I didnt want to do this. So me and BF said we were popping into some shops and would catch them up. We did 30/40mins later. Still no plans and just walking around. I suggested to BF that he and I pop into this really nice quirky cocktail bar. He agreed. I said this to the group and said we'd catch up. about an hr or so after, we did meet them. They were in a bar having a drink and decided they were going back to hotel (so after 4/5 hours) I then said me and BF would stay out in Manchester. I did maybe say it abruptly.
Anyway, next morning before we all went home my dad was being funny and really quiet. I called him and asked what was wrong. He said he didnt want any arguments but was disapointment in me. He said the weekend was meant to be family time and he hardly saw me. I reminded him that I had seen him the whole jounry and it was only in Manchester that I dipped in and out of the group as I didnt want to just walk around. He disagreed. he said he was suprised when me and BF decided to stay out and not go back to hotel for dinner as he wanted some family time together. He then went on to tell me he is a sick peron and I dont know whats around the corner. I then spoke to my brother about this. He said he was suprised when I stayed out as it felt likle i wanted to be alone with bf and they werent invited. I apologised if I made them feel this way but said I would not apologise for doing my own thing, when there wasnt any plans.
Brother then said my dad isnt the best with words, he had spoken to my uncle on the phone who isnt keeping too well, and because my dad doesnt keep the best with health, he was probably just a bit upset.
I understand this and we spoke again brielfy last night. I feel I did nothing wrong. My dad doenst want to discuss it now and said we cant turn back the clock. I dont want to turn back the clock though, apart from maybe making them feel that they couldnt join us, I didnt do anything wrong.
Please help me if I was in the wrong. I am emotional, as mentioned, so sometimes feelings cloud judgement.
thanks x