Struggling with the anxiety of having a baby / first time mum

[Essexgal2023]

This is more of a handhold than an AIBU. Although I feel like I am being unreasonable as I should be stronger for my child.

I struggled with anxiety during my pregnancy with my DS due to previous losses. I had counselling which helped. Our son is 2 weeks old and I’m constantly in panic about SIDS, safe sleeping, what he should wear, how he should feed etc that it’s making me feel unwell. I knew to an extent that this is normal to feel like this but I’m really struggling and keep crying worrying my baby will pass away. Even during my c - section I didn’t believe baby would be born healthy and I’m still struggling now. My anxiety has really ramped up since he was born and I’m wondering how I’ll cope.

Can anyone else relate to this and what did you do or recommend doing?

Congratulations on the arrival of your baby!

Please speak to your midwife or health visitor. It sounds like you’ve got anxiety and you can get support to work through it.

Congratulations on your baby!

The best way to get help is to speak to your midwife and ask to be referred to the perinatal mental health team. They can help you, there’s lots of things they can try

I really feel you OP. I had a similar pregnancy to you with a lot of anxiety that then spilled into the early months with my baby and focused obsessively first around his health and then my own. It was horrible: exhausting, frightening and hugely guilt inducing as I felt I should just be enjoying my baby, but couldn’t let go of the fear. Some mornings I felt I’d been injected with liquid terror.

I would agree hugely with the advice above: speak to your midwife or health visitor. They should be able to refer you to the perinatal mental health team who can be really helpful. My experience was that the process was slow but ultimately useful. As with any anxiety, often a multi pronged approach is helpful. I found walking helped, especially first thing in the morning, the same small route every day. Sounds small but it was very soothing. I’d often call someone or voice note a friend. I also was lucky and had a sympathetic GP who saw my baby and I every 2 weeks at the beginnng. She’d given him about 3 ‘6 week checks’ by the time he went for his actual 6 week. I was too anxious to be in some of the appointments to took my partner with me.

the other things I’d say is that two weeks is still so early. You’ll be full of hormones, sleep deprived and reeling from the shock of having a baby (my anxiety was after dc number 2 and I still found the process a bit of a shock). Definitely reach out for support, but also give it a bit of time. Over the first three months I felt my anxiety ease a tiny bit each day. It felt like gradually emerging from a forest. After a while, all the big scary fear shrunk down to a much more manageable size.

Good luck, take it a day at a time, don’t put too much pressure on yourself and hold on to the belief it will get easier xx