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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I will never be able to move out

146 replies

roldog · 15/05/2023 14:09

I'm 25 and desperate to get my own house. But right now feel that I will never be able to afford to.

I still live with my parents, I work full time and have a boyfriend who also works full time. I have a decent wage but just feel like I will never be able to afford to get my own place.

I am saving, but it's going to take so long. At the end of every month I barely have any money left which makes me think how the hell will I ever be able to actually afford to run a house.

I'm at the stage to be wanting to start a family etc now, but obviously want my own place first. It's really getting me down.

Sorry if this sounds like a pity party, I just wanted to rant I suppose. How are young people these days supposed to get on the property ladder with the rising prices of everything? Sad

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 15/05/2023 15:44

@Sissynova True, but the OP's initial post was asking if she can ever afford to move out - well she can if she rents or looks at buying a one bed flat. I left home for good at 21 with £600 in the bank and an appointment with a temp agency - and this was to the outskirts of London! She wants to move straight in to a family sized home that she owns - which may be in easier reach where she lives but it is a choice to wait for that.

mrlistersgelfbride · 15/05/2023 15:50

I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic here- you are on a good wage for your age and you are very fortunate your parents don't charge you rent or bills.
You save £400 per month. You could easily double this to save £800 or even make it to £500/600.
3 or 4 years of that, you'll have enough for a house deposit.
I'm 38 and some of my friends are only just getting on the property ladder (albeit they are single), so I really wouldn't worry. You have plenty of time. If you make a few sensible changes you could afford a house by 30.

Original poster
roldog · 15/05/2023 15:56

Can I just say this post was not to gain sympathy or for anybody to feel sorry for me, I was simply seeking advice. Thank you so much to all of those who have given helpful advice.

I know there's always the odd few, like @TheGreatEggRave who will always take offence. Sorry you are going through a tough time but please don't take it out on me, it is completely valid for me to ask for tips/advice on a topic - just because others are struggling we can't use this forum to discuss other things? I have great sympathy for anybody struggling right now, and I know I am very lucky, I never once doubted that. I suggest you leave the thread if you don't want to see any more.

OP posts:
Jeannieofthelamp · 15/05/2023 15:56

Actually OP I think you have lived your life just right, your early 20s are exactly when you should be frittering your money away on your social life, be glad you enjoyed yourself! But as you are discovering, there comes a time when that has to come to an end and you have to start looking to the future. (Perhaps it should have come a year or two earlier to you but never mind that now). Don't judge yourself just make the changes you need to now.

HaiIeyy · 15/05/2023 15:56

£1k a month on nothing is your reason you have nothing! Budget properly and add £1k a month to savings instead of wasting it.

Original poster
roldog · 15/05/2023 15:58

@MagicSpring the £2,000 is my net pay. Yes it is my dog, now that you mention I also pay £20 dog insurance a month (I forgot to add that!) I think that is pretty reasonable though.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 15/05/2023 15:58

Stop buying presents. Just tell everyone that you don't want any presents and that you won't be buying any more.

Stop going to expensive hen dos. Just say that you cannot afford them.

Original poster
roldog · 15/05/2023 15:59

@Jeannieofthelamp thank you so much, your right there's no time like the present so from now on I am going to be super strict! X

OP posts:
Mumto1boyo · 15/05/2023 16:00

HAHAHAHAHA what a charmed life.

Original poster
roldog · 15/05/2023 16:00

Thanks all! Regarding the 3 bedroom house, I'm not particularly looking for 3 bedroom I was just giving an example of the house prices where I live so used that as one

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 15/05/2023 16:04

Or counterpoint - move out and rent somewhere very cheap - get your independence, learnt to budget and run a household properly, enjoy being in your twenties -there is all the time in the world to spend you money of dull house stuff.

If you are struggling to budget now with your only bills being your dog, phone and car - going straight to being fully responsible for a three bed house will be the shock of your life!

At the beginning of this year our washing machine and toilet flush broke in the space of a week and the kitchen sink became badly blocked (related to the washing machine breakdown). The resulting bills for plumbers visits, parts and a new washing machince was a bit over £1000. This is the reality of owning your own house.

TheGreatEggRave · 15/05/2023 16:06

@roldog I do apologise for speaking to you so rudely. As I said, it hit a nerve and I should never have posted under the circumstances. I can see you’re taking onboard the advice on the thread as that was what you were after. I took your posts all wrong because of my own mental state. Thank you for being so gracious in the face of my undeserved bile.

😳😬💖

loislovesstewie · 15/05/2023 16:09

I don't think anyone should go to a cheap rent if they can also buy cheaply. Being mortgage free early is actually a great place to be. Buying sensibly, not stretching yourself and having a budget can result in being able to have a decent lifestyle.

glittereyelash · 15/05/2023 16:10

You're incredibly fortunate to not have to pay rent. The things we did when saving for a mortgage were meal planning, one takeaway a month, walking as much as possible so your not wasting fuel, two nights out a month, only buying clothes when necessary, no beauty treatments, also sell any items your not using. Best of luck its tough but you'll get there.

BeverlyHa · 15/05/2023 16:11

Take 40 hours per week, give no more 300 to parents for bills and food, stop going out and save.

mycoffeecup · 15/05/2023 16:11
  1. you're saving £400 per month
  2. if you think a £40 per month phone contract is a necessity then you probably aren't in the right mindset. switch to giffgaff and get a sim only phone refurbished, keep it til it dies - I don't change my phone more often than every 5 or so years.
  3. write down all your outgoings for a month. everything. Suspect you are frittering a lot away
Ginmonkeyagain · 15/05/2023 16:14

That is sensible to a point but I sense some tension. The OP is clearly champing at the bit for her independence - a year or so living on her own may do her the world of good. Experience is as valuable as anything else.

She also worried she will not be able to afford to run this house she is desperate to buy - so she does need to get a bit more experience of budgeting - which I assume, as she currently lives with her parents with barely any responsibilties for bills she has neve head.

My view is while being mortgage free is great, life experience is also invaluable, plenty of time to saddle yourself with a mortgage and live in partner - you will never get your twenties back.

Original poster
roldog · 15/05/2023 16:15

@TheGreatEggRave totally understandable. I'm sorry to hear your not in a good state of mind, I hope things get better for you very soon❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
roldog · 15/05/2023 16:16

I have thought about renting, but so many people have steered me off of the idea as the money being spent on that could be going towards a house deposit. But then I agree about the independence and learning to run a house part.

And to the poster who said I would have the shock of my life going from living with parents to a 3 bedroom house, I couldn't agree more I definitely would lol! X

OP posts:
MammaTo · 15/05/2023 16:17

roldog · 15/05/2023 15:03

Thank you everybody! I completely agree with you all, it's shocking and I should definitely be saving A LOT more than I am.

It's embarrassing that I'm spending so much money a month on basically nothing, going out with friends, eating out, buying things online... it all adds up! Gonna have to be more careful from now on.

It’s not nothing OP don’t beat yourself up, you’re only 25 and should be doing these things.

Whilst I appreciate you might have to tighten your belt a bit you still need a life.

HadEnough2023 · 15/05/2023 16:21

You could pay your bills, have £600 odd to play with and still save around £900 a month.
If you want to save, then do it. You don't sound like you're really that interested in moving out.

loislovesstewie · 15/05/2023 16:22

I think that I'm looking at this from the point of view of knowing lots of people who at the age of 25 were married with a mortgage and a baby. They still had a social life, but were definitely settled down. I think it was common to do that when I was young.

FictionalCharacter · 15/05/2023 16:25

You answered your own question when you said weddings, hen parties, birthdays, buying stuff online and eating out. You’re quite simply spending far too much on high living if you want to buy your own home. It will be easy to save more if you cut back on these without living like a hermit. You’re extremely lucky paying no rent. I wasn’t able to buy my first tiny flat, with my boyfriend, until my 30s. Most of our incomes had been going on rent. Before we got together I could only afford rooms in shared houses.

Bear in mind that it would be best not to aim too high with your first property. A starter home is your best bet, a flat or small house. You’ll be responsible for all the house maintenance, upkeep, council tax, all bills, and at the moment you pay nothing. Home ownership is a big step if you’ve never lived independently.

febrezeme · 15/05/2023 16:27

HadEnough2023 · 15/05/2023 16:21

You could pay your bills, have £600 odd to play with and still save around £900 a month.
If you want to save, then do it. You don't sound like you're really that interested in moving out.

This

You're not paying any rent currently....if you really wanted to you could save £1500 a month and live off £100 a week - most adults with kids to support live off that or less after main bills have been paid (of which you have none)

LeroyJenkinssss · 15/05/2023 16:29

On a £150k house in just 2 and a half years you could save a 20% deposit if you saved £600 more a month. If you were willing to do a bit of work and have a normal terraced 2 up 2 down at around £100k then that’s be down to just under 2 yrs. how much have you got saved already?

I definitely wouldn’t rent but take advantage of the huge benefit your parents are offering you.

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