Bit of a long one but would appreciate the advice and opinions.
DD is 7- had been until recently glued to the hip to another girl in her class since reception. I had had concerns about the friendship as I noticed DD was not bothering with her other friends at parties etc ( which I could observe) and felt there was a heavy reliance upon one each other. I had encouraged DD to play with others and inter grate as a wider social circle ( playing all together etc) DD has since told me that she would stop her playing with other friends and would get arsey with her if they had a different opinion to each other etc and DD found it quite hard work.
her mother and I had arranged a few play dates previously .. up until she became friendly with my ex husband. ( who I have a very difficult relationship with and have had solicitors involved etc - but I had never disclosed that to this woman I may add) however I had informed me of some relationship issues I had with my current husband during one play date .. in confidence and as woman to woman sort of chat as you do.
anyways, she befriends my ex husband and drops me like hot shit. I wasn’t particularly bothered but a little confused. She started arranging all play dates with him ( he is single and so is she) as their friendship blossomed it came to light that she was telling my ex husband things I had told her and was questioning him about me which I thought was weird. She also apparantly told him that she found me difficult to talk to etc .. but had no issue before they were friends infact sometimes I think she was a little too much ( always suggesting play dates etc ) I had some concerns as well as she has a dog which can not be around anyone outside the house hold as it goes mental and as per her own words “ protects it’s family” it’s a large dog and it scared me and my daughter one time when it got out from the kitchen . Subsequent play dates my daughter has had she has told me things like the dog just barks constantly as they have to shut it outside and the dog has escaped the property and actually got knocked over and lost a leg so the security isn’t brilliant. My friend has seen her walk her dog and it wears a muzzle etc so it is not a friendly dog. I managed to get my ex to stop play dates there and just have at his house or out and about to avoid his worry, so despite this I never forbid any friendship the girls had and between their parents.
they had a play date at a local park and dD told me that both of them had left them in the Sandy park bit to go get ice creams ( out of line of sight and it’s a busy city park)
I obviously given their age was not happy so spoke to my ex husband about this. She got wind and immediately started being abusive and saying stuff about me.
since then, I organised a birthday party for my daughter and invited the whole class. The teacher had forgotten to hand a handful out and one of them being this woman’s daughter. She immediately txt me that day and accused me of deliberately leaving her daughter out ( despite me announcing the party on the class mum WhatsApp ) when I told her no that’s not the case and what do you know - the next day she came home with the invite: no apology though. She has also accused me and my husband of saying we don’t like her daughter etc when we haven’t - we have said only ever commented on her behaviour and pointed out when things maybe haven’t been kind for example:
DD came home from school a couple of months ago and announced she was no longer friends with this girl after a fall out at school. We asked why and she said and it was a petty disagreement by sounds of it but DD had decided she wanted to continue playing with other friends instead and has since seemed a lot happier. She has still allowed this girl to play with her in a group etc but they are no longer “ best friends”
it has also come to light ( from my ex) that this woman has done stuff like taken it upon her self to tell my ex things I’ve posted in the class WhatsApp - an example is on the day we got the announcement of what junior schools kids had gotten into) telling him and stating “ I know that Amy wousknt tell you what school so I am” despite me announcing it in the chat literally as I found out and not even giving me a chance to discuss with her father. I said to her I don’t understand what business it is of yours to play messenger?
I had her mother txt me last night accusing me of brain washing my own daughter to not being friends with hers. Saying how I must be pleased with myself upsetting a 7 year old etc etc . I explained to her that wasn’t the case and asked her to speak to my ex husband who my dD also told about the fall out and how actually her daughter had been quite controlling and bossy. He has said to her the same that my dD said to me so it backs up my story, however she has refused to believe it and seems hell bent on constantly accusing me of shite .
my ex husband actually said that since the girls fell out he has not seen this woman as much as the main purpose of their meet ups was play dates and our daughter made it clear she no longer wants them. However this woman has continued to ask him for them and he has had to explain that she doesn’t want to. I don’t understand why this hasn’t been suffice for her and why she is hell bent on insisting it is my doing!
I have since blocked her number, i had her blocked on WhatsApp and then she msged me last night on normal txt despite our last interaction her saying she didn’t want to talk to me at all.
My main concern is the girls go up to junior school in sept and they had to pick 5 friends to request to be placed with. My DD did not pick this girl but I know she has picked DD as she told her at school. So I am concerned this nonsense will follow us up there!
any advice on how else to deal with this much appreciated.