Just need a whine about dh

[Thecatsbutler]

Just that really. Dh is so uninterested in stuff that doesn't involve him directly. If I start talking about anything that I think he should have an opinion or even a thought on, like kids education, vacations, what to make for dinner etc.... he'll answer 'whatever you think'....'I see what you mean'....but not actually engage. He will then get up and go to the toilet, make a coffee, or just go upstairs. Or, he'll pull out his phone while I'm still speaking or change tv channel, while I'm still speaking.
Even when the kids are trying to talk to him about whatever Is important to them, he'll relate it back to however it relates to him. He's really pissing me off today. Trying to talk about the kids future, what uni's etc and he's just started scrolling his phone.
He can talk for days about his job though, just not interested enough in us to engage. 🤨🤨

arethereanyleftatall.
Didn't dismiss your post, just not relevant to my whine about dh. Divorce is not on the table for me. Every one has their own limits and expectations in their own relationships. If someone feels that their relationship can only end in divorce then that's entirely their decision to make. My whine about dh is exactly that. A whine about something someone does that irritates the life out of me. I'm sure that most of the posters on here have a major gripe about their other half that will not end in divorce. I have no intention of ending my marriage over this.
It's "Just a whine about dh"

Fair enough to just wish to whine.

But don't fool yourself.

Your shit husband is a self absorbed bore, with zero interest in you and your children.

Fair enough that you have no wish to divorce, but don't kid yourself that he is anything but a shit father.

Your childrens eye rolling will undoubtedly morph into the knowledge that their father is a selfish waster who has had zero interest in them growing up.

Develop your own life, interests and supports, because when your children leave home, returning to see him will barely register with them, and you may well find that you are also done with him.

Wishing you well.

It's very interesting OP that you are resolute in not leaving him. My DH is similarly completely dismissive of me and I find it an absolute death knell. Contemptuous, disrespectful. Insurmountably so, for me anyway. It's hard to come back from that level of dismissive, disinterested contempt.

I think it's a bad sign when people in a relationship treat each other with less respect (and/or kindness) than they'd treat a stranger.

Obviously you have concrete reasons for staying in the relationship. Different people have different tolerence levels. What does he do that balances out this behaviour?