Husband hates new job

[Amber207]

Hi all
New to this forum and really need some unbiased views
My OH of 19 years has recently moved to a new job in a new industry. He did this as he wasn't happy with his previous role. The new job comes with twice as much pay as before, plus health care.
The issue is, he wants to now go back to his old job.
My wages cover 100% of the bills, so we rely on his money for everything else - food, fuel, clothing etc. We have 4 teenage children.

Am I being unreasonable asking him to stay in the new job?

Thank you

If he's really unhappy then yes, YABU. Can you contribute to the bills at all?

Sorry just read, you're paying all the bills.

He needs to stick with it whilst looking for a new job.

Is he finding the job so awful it’s affecting his health/sleep/mental health?

I’d always say ‘stick with it until find somewhere else’ but I’ve been in a situation where my boss was such a complete and utter horror that I was having health problems (after months of 60+hour weeks, unreasonable demands, workload of two jobs, no support) and I just couldn’t take it. If I’d been in my 20s maybe… even my family was worried that I’d drop dead.

Of course, if it’s just a case of him not liking it, then he would be better to stick until he finds something else (could he even go back to the old job anyway?). And 4 teens can’t be cheap to maintain.

He disliked old role though? Can he access some career counselling etc. It will take time to settle in new industry and is hard feeling like newbie. Maybe agree to try for a few months then reevaluate.

How long has he been on his new job? I ask because I started a new job in a new field about 2 months ago and have really struggled . I’ve panicked and wondered if I’ve made the right decision. Also wondered if I’ve ‘ruined my life’ . There have been many tears . Anyway I’ve had lots of advice and looked into this and it’s ‘A Thing’ . Apparently very very common to hate your new job! I actually spoke to my old employer who said they would take me back at any time ( in a heart beat) and once I’d had that reassurance I seemed to turn a corner, didn’t feel like i was trapped anymore.

Tell him to hang on in there for a couple more months and then re-think . Why did he move? Those reasons are still probably still valid. Has imposter syndrome kicked in? Big him up and boost his confidence .

Thank you all.
I'm tempted to suggest that he hangs in for 6m. As was mentioned, new job, new industry, new people etc can all be a lot to take in.
In that 6m we can look at our finances, use his current salary to pay off some bits, that'll bring down the outgoings.
I feel so terrible seeing him go out to work and know he's not happy.
I like my job, but I'm scared to death of screwing up - due to the responsibility at home. And I feel way out of my depth some days.
I've suggested we get some counselling too. On many occasions, but this is always turned down. Maybe another thread to explain the relationship... 😊

I respect and appreciate all of your comments. Thank you all again.
It felt good just 'saying' it out loud. Take care