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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send a text after work night out drama

20 replies

Lis1992 · 14/05/2023 15:27

So there’s a lady I work with who has a reputation for being a bit difficult when she gets drunk. The thing is, she doesn’t do it with the staff who are ‘her cronies’ so not everyone knows about. It’s happened to others before and me, where she has insulted us when drunk but she’d act very innocent with others and they don’t realise what she can be like. Frustrating but anyway! Last night we were on a work night out. It wasn’t an official one- we went to the bar after the official event. She took a simple
Comment that I made up wrong, and insulted me.

I did say F off to her (I know that I was wrong to do that) as I’m sick of her doing this on work night. She has also said this to me in the past and others!! But I’m pretty shocked at myself as I’m very professional and normally wouldn’t get involved in any drama on a work night out. She told other colleagues that I called her names that are not true, and now I don’t know how to tell people I didn’t say this!! As I don’t know how many people she lied to - I saw her talking to lots of people. AIBU to text and clear the air? Or should I leave it till work tmoro? Or leave it completely? I’m nervous that someone she spoke to will go to our manager and I’ll look bad over her lying about what I said to her!! Help!!

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 14/05/2023 15:36

I'd just leave the whole thing alone. Everyone had been drinking, it's a 'he said, she said' scenario.
I would give her a wide berth in future, keep interactions strictly work related and don't socialise with her.

JaneJeffer · 14/05/2023 15:37

Do NOT put anything in writing!

rwalker · 14/05/2023 15:37

Do nothing
it if challenged about it defend yourself

Persephoned · 14/05/2023 15:39

Do nothing. You sound as if you have ‘beer fear’ - alcohol makes you anxious. If she has issues with booze and relationships she won’t even have noticed. Just act as normal and professional in work. Have a lovely rest of Sunday

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 15:39

Oh no don't text anyone

Blip · 14/05/2023 15:42

No texts, style it out and deny anything deniable.

It can be unwise to drink much with work mates.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 14/05/2023 15:50

Definitely don't text, if anything is going to turn it in to an issue it's that. Do nothing, the people who know her will know she's got previous and her cronies will stand by her no matter what you say.

luckylavender · 14/05/2023 15:53

100% - no texts.

Seas164 · 14/05/2023 15:56

Don't join in. Remain professional, pretend it didn't happen and give he the swerve from now on.

SmudgeButt · 14/05/2023 15:57

If anyone comments about it just roll your eyes and say "well you know what she's like when she drinks!"

MrsDoylesDoily · 14/05/2023 15:59

Leave it completely and if she raises it verbally, just tell her it's in the past and over and done with as far as you're concerned.

TheApplianceofScience · 14/05/2023 16:06

SmudgeButt · 14/05/2023 15:57

If anyone comments about it just roll your eyes and say "well you know what she's like when she drinks!"

This by the bucketful.

LakeTiticaca · 14/05/2023 16:17

Say nothing.
There will be other colleagues who know this person is an arse.
Keep well clear and don't engage with her in the future

SeasonFinale · 14/05/2023 16:20

Leave it and if anything is said turn it on her and say well that isn't what happened and as (she) was drunk I suspect she doesn't really have a clue what actually did

justprance · 14/05/2023 16:22

As others have said, say nothing. Don't pour fuel onto the fire, or lower yourself to her level.

It will die down.

TheApplianceofScience · 16/05/2023 09:00

@Lis1992

So what happened ??

Lis1992 · 16/05/2023 15:30

@TheApplianceofScience She confronted me in work actually and was raising her voice despite me telling her to be quiet! Nobody really saw this though. But anyway she admitted she took it up wrong but said she was still annoyed etc. gave me a hug and said can we draw a line under it as we have to work alongside each other (shared office) I said yes!

OP posts:
TheApplianceofScience · 16/05/2023 15:33

Massive swerve from here on in. People like her get on my wick.

elizabethdraper · 16/05/2023 15:36

This is why i dont go on work nights out.

Do not need this drama in my life!!

RB68 · 16/05/2023 16:10

style it out. Only response needed to any comments "well we all know how she gets when she has had a few, I am not paying it any attention" and leave it at that

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