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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year olds knocking on door for DD at 8pm

30 replies

mrlistersgelfbride · 13/05/2023 20:19

The door just went and it was one of the kids from the estate asking if DD could come for a bike ride. It was 8pm. This kid is in reception, age 5 but 6 later this year.
I said no, it was too late. Kid has knocked round several times without parents starting from last year (parents are ok with this - I have their number to contact parents if needed) however previously they have knocked in the daytime.
AIBU for thinking it's ridiculous for a 5 year old to be around the streets on their own so late? I find it strange.

Backstory: it's a very laid back estate, lots of young families. Some children play on their own outside with other kids. Often adults are nowhere to be seen . Whenever DD goes out, I'm always with her. It seems like often I'm the only adult around, as I can't and won't leave her. It's very different to where I grew up which was a main road, we weren't allowed to go knocking on doors for friends until late primary school.

Just wondered what others thought.

OP posts:
CamoFlamingo · 13/05/2023 20:22

Oh course YANBU but sadly there are lots of irresponsible stupid people who cba to supervise their own children and also don't care about inflicting late night noise on others. It's similiar where I live - young kids playing on the roads until 9pm.

Kkkk2223334 · 13/05/2023 20:22

That is insane I would not be letting my five year old out of my sight , that’s so unsafe they’re going out alone even if it’s down the street. I would be talking to the parents telling them it’s unsafe ! Especially at 8:30 at night.

AgentJohnson · 13/05/2023 20:25

I had this and with every knock I would tell them that DD didn’t play out after 18:00, they soon got the message and stopped. There was no point getting annoyed with the kids because for them, playing out till 21:00 was ok with their parents.

Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 13/05/2023 20:25

@Kkkk2223334 Exactly! We are on the next road from where the girl lives, only a minute away but we'll out of sight of her house. I can't imagine a scenario where I'd ever be ok with my 5 year old doing that but lots seem to do it around here.

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 13/05/2023 20:25

8pm is too late for a 5yo, but nothing wrong with 5/6 year olds playing out in a fairly safe area.

Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 13/05/2023 20:26

@AgentJohnson I think I'll start doing that, I'm not to strict over bedtimes but my cut off would be 6/6;30pm.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 13/05/2023 20:27

@Sugarfree23 Unsupervised though? I'm not sure I could do it. As I say I grew up in a different kind of area though and my parents were strict.

OP posts:
JMSA · 13/05/2023 20:27

Aww, the poor wee soul Sad

Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 13/05/2023 20:29

@CamoFlamingo I do think it's this, the girls parents are very nice but they have 3 children including a baby, the other 2 are allowed to go out and about on their own.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 13/05/2023 20:30

A 5 year old shouldn't be out like that unsupervised at 8pm in my opinion.

I'd probably be happy with them playing in the street during the day if it was a safe street and I could watch them from the window/I knew that between me and my neighbours we were supervising.

PuttingDownRoots · 13/05/2023 20:37

A similar thing happened on the estate I was living once... the two five year olds had snuck out, they weren't supposed to be out at 8pm or any time actually!

ReginaTheEvilQueen · 13/05/2023 20:37

I had the opposite problem, a brother and sister age 5 & 7 who spent every weekend with their grandparents who were my neighbours a few doors up, kept calling for my 2 of a similar age around 5.30/6am every sat & sun morning! I told them to come back after 9am but they would come back every half hour to see if they were ready yet!

I spoke to the grandparents who had no idea the kids were sneaking out so early and said they would sort it, the next weekend on sat morning they knocked at 5.30am again, i decided to ignore to see how long they would go in for, 45 minutes later they were still knocking!

PlusOneMet · 13/05/2023 20:40

Please don’t get me started on this we have neighbours who let their 3 year old and 7 year old play on their bikes on the pavement up and down and then sometimes the kids enter the road and it can be a busy road! We live on curved road and with electric cars you can’t always hear a car. It’s so so stressful when I see them I have to stand at the window and watch them to make sure they’re ok! Found DH doing it the other day and he thinks the same as me, he was watching them. No idea what their parents were doing.

Yummymummy2020 · 13/05/2023 20:43

It’s a bit mental isn’t it. I can’t imagine letting mine out roaming like that. I would be too worried about them. Plus I’d be looking to wind everyone down a bit after dinner.

thefatpotato · 13/05/2023 21:23

My DD is an immensely sensible 6yo and I wouldn't let her go and knock on her friends door down the road by herself, day or evening. I would actually be making a call to SS in this case. How long would they leave their child without knowing where they are? Even in a friendly area that is such risky behaviour.

Sugarfree23 · 13/05/2023 21:41

Dont be ridiculous to suggest phoning SS because a kid is playing out. Mum might have been getting ready to shout them in for all you know.

PastaPup · 13/05/2023 21:51

This was normal for me. I also did the 10 minute walk to school alone by 6. I’m still under 25 so not that long ago. I’m in the north east and it still happens here a lot.
I feel on edge leaving my dog in a locked garden so can’t imagine letting kids out on the road

AlltheFs · 13/05/2023 22:02

We live in a rural idyll- super safe quiet village, very little traffic, it is nowhere near a main road etc.

Children do not play out unsupervised until about 8. A five/six year old playing out on their own would be considered neglect at any time of day, let alone that late.

Lasouthpaw · 13/05/2023 22:05

I live on an estate with lots of young families and some kids of all ages are out til quite late with little supervision.

I wouldn't risk it. It takes one person to see an opportunity or once accident to happen. They're too little at that age.

nighthawk99 · 13/05/2023 22:14

i think it depends so much on the location and specifically the traffic situations.If the housesall opened onto a green and there were no roads to cross i would not be particularly worried.I think being out at 8pm on a non school light spring evening is no big worry.

Figgygal · 13/05/2023 22:18

Jeez who would let their kid out alone at that age at that time of night
Poor thing

anon12093 · 13/05/2023 22:22

Had this at my old house. Neighbours son and daughter were a massive pita. Didn't matter how many times I told them ds wasn't coming out they'd be back to chap my door. I told them politely, not so politely, went to their parents who screamed at me and called me a cunt.

I'm so glad I moved.

WunWun · 13/05/2023 22:25

If a kid knocked on my door at 5:30am I would march them home and give whoever was responsible for them a piece of my mind.

Mummyof287 · 13/05/2023 22:27

Oh my word letting a 5yo out alone unsupervised at all is incredibly neglectful, even more so at 8pm!! I think you need to be calling Social services to report this for sure....they might give the parents a call and scare them into being more bloody responsible!
The fact its normal in your area doesn't make it right.

LakeTiticaca · 13/05/2023 22:43

Yanbu.
Small unaccompanied child is more likely to be abducted than if they were home with their parents