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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it that unusual to be grey in 30s?

88 replies

Spanakopitas · 13/05/2023 19:29

I've been getting grey hairs since I was 22. I'm just about to turn 32 now, I don't have that much still but I have got several strands of grey all over. My hair is very dark brown naturally too so it shows more.

Anyway a colleague has said to me on the shift in shock 'I can see grey hair at the back of your head!! Are you going grey?!"

I explained that I have been doing for the last 10 years. I feel a bit embarrassed that I was put on the spot. I dye it sometimes if I feel it's getting quite noticeable.

Is it that uncommon really? Maybe she thinks I'm younger than I am. Probably going to have many posts now from people saying they didn't get a single grey hair until they were 75!

OP posts:
Spanakopitas · 13/05/2023 21:07

I didn't realise it was so common as I don't know many other people who have many at my age or did in their 20s. I feel a bit better now and it's nothing to be ashamed of. She did it in front of other colleagues too which just put me on the spot. She's around 45 but dyes her own hair red.

OP posts:
VintageThoughts · 13/05/2023 21:12

What a rude thing to say.

My DS started with grey hairs at 16. He is very dark though.

Don't let her get to you OP x

LakieLady · 13/05/2023 21:13

My friend spotted my first grey hair during double German when I was in my O-level year!

They multiplied slowly at first, but speeded up when I hit my 30s, and I had my hair highlighted to disguise them. I'm more or less totally grey at the front now, but still have quite a lot of dark hair at the back (I'm 67).

And I have it coloured every 6 weeks.

dizzydizzydizzy · 13/05/2023 21:13

Friend at school had some grey strands at 15 or 16. I'm mid 50s and have the odd one.

mainsfed · 13/05/2023 21:14

Anyway a colleague has said to me on the shift in shock 'I can see grey hair at the back of your head!! Are you going grey?!"

She wasn’t in shock, she did it deliberately in faux shock.

Vicliz24 · 13/05/2023 21:16

sherbertyellowteddy · 13/05/2023 20:45

I started going grey in my teens. I'm mid 30s and have had enough of dying it so am going to grow it out and go grey. I have about 1cm of roots showing so a loooongggg way to go!

So worth it though. I wish I'd done it much you than I did .

Spanakopitas · 13/05/2023 21:21

I wonder why she felt the need to do it. I'm sick of these sorts of backhanded comments

OP posts:
Armeins · 13/05/2023 21:25

I got my first grey hairs in my early 20's. I was teaching a group of adults when in front of everyone one of them commented on my grey hair. I can't remember the exact words but I suddenly felt so self conscious and wanted to cry. It felt like being a teen again. I then started dyeing it but then the colour wasn't lasting long and it was so expensive and time consuming. Plus it was leaving my hair in terrible condition and my scalp became sensitive. So I've grown it out now and quite like it even though I know it probably ages me massively.

GeekyThings · 13/05/2023 21:29

Spanakopitas · 13/05/2023 21:21

I wonder why she felt the need to do it. I'm sick of these sorts of backhanded comments

She probably wanted to signal to the team that you're much more decrepit than pretty little youngling her! So the faux surprise was double edged - not only did it publicly announced to the group, hey look at this old chick, but it also drew attention to the fact that she's not old enough to know whether your grey hairs are normal, because she's far too young to know that kind of thing.

Next time tell her it's pretty normal to start getting them in your mid to late twenties, and she'd probably see one or two herself on her own head if she didn't dye it (backhanded insult right back at her)!

StrawberryWater · 13/05/2023 21:35

Not unusual. I started going grey at 19.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 21/05/2023 20:47

I reckon if hair dyeing never existed, 90% of women in their 30s would be showing at least some grey hair.

Discwriter · 21/05/2023 20:56

Your colleague sounds rude OP. Hope she doesn't have form for this! Totally natural, I had a few grey hairs in my 20s. Late 30s now and it seems like it's doubling exponentially. Don't know how long my 6-weekly dye jobs are going to cover it.

EasterBreak · 21/05/2023 21:07

I started going grey as a teen. In my 30s now and VERY grey.

WeightoftheWorld · 21/05/2023 21:10

I'm (just about!) still in my late 20s and I started going grey during my first pregnancy at 23/24. I have very dark brown hair too and I look a bit like a badger, I basically have silver highlights! I can't afford the time or money involved with the upkeep of getting it dyed and it doesn't really bother me so for now I'm just leaving it as is. I've had comments from people too and they don't upset me personally as it's not something I'm so bothered about but agree that people can be very thoughtless! I don't have a family history of going grey early though so my own parents are quite shocked and my DM keeps trying to get me to have it dyed!

ThinWomansBrain · 21/05/2023 21:10

I was mid-30s when a hairdresser suggested I would probably be better off having a full colour instead of highlights because of the grey.
Changed hairdresser.

User1529865 · 21/05/2023 21:17

DH was quite grey in his 30s, he had very dark hair, I had mousey blonde hair and only the sides have gone proper grey, the rest is mousey grey but it didn't happen until I was well into my 50s. Dark haired people do seem to go greyer earlier or maybe it just shows more

IHeartGeneHunt · 21/05/2023 21:20

I started at 17. Now I've got full on Bride of Frankenstein stripes up the sides and fully white on top. I'm 40 and I've been growing it out since 2021.

faffadoodledo · 21/05/2023 21:22

Not that u usual. DH had a few greys when I met him (he was 30). A friend of mine (57 like me) started greying at 20 and was fully grey at 30, tho has dyed it ever since. It's hard to tell really because so many women dye their hair!

Zoologydragon · 21/05/2023 21:27

I've had " the odd grey" since my early twenties and am now 36 with probably 50% + grey but all over not as streaks unfortunately. I've been dying my hair since early teens and eagerly awaiting the day I can dye it random colours again without bleach....I use this to make myself feel better about the grey lol. I'm naturally incredibly dark brown! I haven't bleached my hair and dyed it since my teens so I'm very much looking forward to having it pink/purple/green again 🤣

thespy · 21/05/2023 21:32

Another very dark brunette here who found their first grey at 21 & has progressively gone greyer ever since. Annoyingly it's now patchy and probably about 60% grey top and front at almost 50. Still quite dark at the back & very grey around the temples! Aging like a bloke.

thespy · 21/05/2023 21:33

Oh and I'm a sort of unconvincing bronde now. Stubborn Red / orange undertone to the bleached bits but I'm buggered if I'm going to get toner applied every five minutes.

orangeclubsarebest · 21/05/2023 21:44

I've started to notice a few greys in the last year. I'm 35. My hair is blonde so I'm sure there are hundreds I just can't see!

Ex dh is only 2 years older than me and really grey these days. So yeah, totally normal to be going grey at your age.

Daisymoo222 · 21/05/2023 21:55

I'm 40 dark hair naturally. I don't have grey hair coming through....it's pure white! I.dye my hair every 2/3 weeks but have considered going salt/pepper/silver so the roots don't show as much.

Butchyrestingface · 21/05/2023 21:57

Your colleague has obviously lived a very sheltered life.

Newmum738 · 21/05/2023 22:23

I had my first grey hairs at 18. Battled to hide it in dark hair and then went blonde at 30. I'm now hoping to grow that out for a natural white/grey which I think I am now. I'm also telling everyone in the hope it will make it easier!

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