To think I can't sell my car?

[MrsS93]

So basically I had a tiny hatchback car which I sold at the start of April (traded in) for a larger family car. When I viewed the new car (second hand) it seemed great, right size, good mileage, well kept.
I went to test drive the new car on my own as OH was working away. He had been getting on at me that the old car was too small for the baby and pram (it was but I didn't think I could afford another car and had been burying my head in the sand). Decided I could afford the new car so bought it.
Fast forward to OH coming home, first thing he does is tell me the new car stinks of smoke and how could I have been so stupid and irresponsible as a mother to buy it 😒one month on he's told me I need to sell the car.
I genuinely did not notice the smoke smell when I bought the car but have been told I'm a liar for the last month!
If I trade in the car now I'm losing £3k straight out. I won't be able to buy another car anywhere near as good and will still be paying off the current car even after it's gone.
Is OH right that third hand smoke will endanger our baby? Should I just take the massive hit and sell the car?

Get it professionally valeted if that's an option financially. They should be able to shampoo all the upholstery and remove any lingering smells.

If it bothers you, you can you get it professionally valeted, or detailed as it's called now. I don't mean the £25 side of the road job, companies will remove seats and wash them along with washing roof linings and carpets. It'll cost you about £100 but it's cheaper than losing the 3k. Old smoke smell isn't nice but it won't damage you or your baby.

I also have to say that your dh is not the boss of you. He was happy for you to buy a car on your own and it was him that insisted on it. Tell him to back off and stop moaning, if he doesn't like it then he needs to sort it and lose the 3k.

No, it's not going to harm your baby. Why don't you give it a really thorough clean and air it out? If you didn't notice it it can't be that bad.

Who is telling you you're a liar? Your DH? His attitude sounds terrible and not very nice at all. Sounds like he is trying to make sure you don't have access to a car and is housebound....is he controlling in other ways?

Are you sure it smells? Your OH seems very aggressive, and I'm wondering if he's just trying to find some fault. You didn't smell anything the whole time you had it, so it can't be that bad.
Agree with PP, get it valeted. I wouldn't even buy the most expensive one, but you may want to anyway.

I'd be more worrried about the impact to myself and a child of an OH who thought it was fine to call me irresponsible, stupid and a liar than a lingering smell of smoke in a car

I already paid for a £100 valet, it masked the smell for a couple of days but I can't be doing that every week.
My Oh has more money than me so doesn't see it as a big deal but even though we're married I like to be financially independent. If I ask him for money to buy a new car I will have years of having to make it up to him. (yes I know how awful this sounds, I've thought about leaving in the past but at the moment I want to stay.)

Stuff that for a game of soldiers, if he's so adamant it smells of smoke tell him to walk.

Did you replace the air filters? If not that could account for the smell coming back as the cigarette smoke will have built up in them.

Depending on how you want to sell the car, some companies require you to have owned it for at least 6 months. If you're selling privately that's not an issue.
That being said, if it doesn't bother you it can't be that bad, so I feel he could be making a mountain out of a molehill.
I'd just tell him he's fine to get himself a new car if it's that much of an issue for him but I'll be keeping mine.

If your finances are separate then tell him to bugger off and stop being verbally abusive towards you. It's a car ffs. It does go to show that your gut was right and you should have just stuck with your original car and not be bullied into replacing a car you didn't want to

If you could not smell the smoke then I would say - 1 - having been valeted any residual smoke smell will not harm children. You are not irresponsible IIMHO 2 - baking soda on the carpets and hoovered off may well help 3 - Tell husband to fuck right off and the horse he rode in on.

( you may wish to ignore point 3 )

On a more serious note I certainly wouldn't sell a car at a £3k deficit before you have tried everything in the way of cleaning and valeting.

I bought a car 6 months old that stank of smoke, 3 months in no smell! Good clean windows open, air filters changed etc. I've had that car for 13 years through a divorce too 🤣 tell him he's being very unreasonable and sometimes cars last longer than awful husbands

I wouldn’t drive my baby around in a car that smelt of smoke, if I’m honest, but your husband sounds like an absolute prick.

at the moment I want to stay

Why? I’d be trying to solve whatever the reason was, be it financially or with therapy, before baby arrives.

Smoke isn’t great for a baby but neither is having an emotionally abusive, volatile father; and the latter will be more damaging in the long run.

My dh was motor trade, you’ll never get smoke out of a car. Never. You can clean them, put smoke bombs off inside, leave windows open. None of it works because it’s deep down sticky tar in the plastics, the seat cushions, the carpets. But you can’t smell it & you drive it not him so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your bigger problem is you want to stay in this relationship. Money passes between spouses with no expectation that you’ll pay it back or hark on about it for years.