To think that thin people get unfairly bullied?

[OracleInaCoracle]

in response to the other thread, a few people have made the point that thin people come in for just as much (if not more) stick as those who are overweight. it seems to me that its perfectly ok to tell someone who is a size 6-8 that they look ill, and they need to put on weight or eat more. yet if anyone suggests to someone who is overweight that they look dreadful, they need to lose weight or eat less then the response is outrage.

just curious, does anyone else think that these double standards are unacceptable?

You are so right, and no, it should not be accepted, but it is.

My best friend, who is size 6/8, used to be constantly told off by her boss for being skinny. This woman was a good size 22 - at least - ate crap constantly, and was head of a leading health charity. Go figure

it has really upset me in the past. I was thin and customers would tell me that i looked ill, i was too thin etc, and when i mentioned it to another member of staff, she replied "well try eating more!"

Pre ds, I was very slim and people were forever telling me that I was too thin and that it didn't suit me. They were just jealous of course, it bloody suited me just fine! .

Very unlikely that someone would say that to me now! People don't generally tell you that you are too fat do they? Apart from my old dear nan (god rest her soul) who would always tell you if she thought you had put on a pound or two "My god you have got thunder thighs" she would say!

Many people are selfish nasty shits who get satisfaction from attacking each other. When you understand this, it all begins to make sense.

Also pre ds I was always very slim size 8-10 and was bullied badly at school. I used to eat loads of crap and I couldnt put any wait on at all. Now its the complete opposite, people always mention how big I look and I only need to look at crisps and I put weight on.
Its so unfair.

Double standards are unacceptable.

But I remain profoundly unconvinced that the thin get as much stick as the fat (not that it never happens, or that there aren't plenty of individual anecdotes, but I don't see any evidence of its happening on the same scale -- remaining anecdotal, I have several times seen fat people (adults) being abused by complete strangers for being fat but have never seen a thin person (adult) being abused by complete strangers for being thin).

I had to shout at DH last week for this very reason. I eat - a lot. I am exactly the right weight for my height, I don't eat rubbish that often, but I am the butt of jokes from him and a couple of 'friends' that think its funny to take the micky out of me for constantly eating. I pointed out to him, that its not me who has to go to the gym 3 times a week, or diet or even bother looking at the fat content on packets. I also explained to him that although I would never stop eating, it could very well cause me to do so, because people think I eat too much.

I know they are in some way envious of me, but it really is begining to get on my nerves. Its not my fault I obviously have a high metabolism, but I do wish they'd stop making me out to be a big for eating the amount I do.

agree with portandlemon.

I think its similar to the bf/ff debate in a way (although not having a go at anyone!). Some people are just far to interested in/nosy/judgemental about other people and their choices...

It's always other women who feel the need to comment on how 'thin' you are.

I'm not skinny thin (size 8-10 5ft 6) but I have a slender frame and no tits. It really fucks me off when women make comments about my lack of norkage! I don't make fun of larger women, why should I be fair game to them?

I have never witnessed an adult being abused for being too fat, but as i said previously i have been criticsed for being too thin. my sister gets it too. im not saying that overweight people dont get stick, because i know they do. and its not fair. its mean-spirited and cruel. but to say that thin people dont receive it on the same scale is inaccurate. it isn't considered rude to comment on the weight/size of a thin person

I used to get this a lot. Pre Ds I was a size 8-10 at 6ft. Through no fault of mine, I just was that way. I'd be told that I looked ill, should eat more etc.
I was once told by a nurse at school that I was anorexic. When I said I wasn't, she told me I was in denial. I was 11.
Of course now I have put weight on since Ds, I'm only a size 14 but my mother some people tell me that I'm fat, need to diet etc.
You just can't win sometimes.

Totally agree with your point Lissie! I've been at both ends of the scale teasing wise and it sucks just as much both ways!

exactly fmv

ye gods, the number of times I had HV etc scold me for ''trying to diet while bf''. I wasn't fricking dieting, I have a fast metabolism and am naturally a fidgety, anxious person!

And what is the correct response to being surrounded by a group of women in a shop going ''aren't you thin?''

I often snap ''I have tapeworm'' That usually shuts them up

PC - I could have written your post! Exactly the same happened to me!

Many people sneer at those larger than them and are really very hateful. When you are fat you do get treated like dirt. It makes you very defensive.

However, I find many bigger women tend to bitch back and comment on the thinner ones while insisting they are happy to be big and that they are 'real' women, normal, eat well (no more than anyone else) and are very very active and (this one always makes me laugh).. "I wouldn't want to be slim."

I don't find that stuff very much on here (sometimes though), we tend to be a better class of fattie on here but in rl I have yet to find a (very) fat person who is realistic or honest about their weight...except me I know exactly why I'm so fat!

I am 100% convinced that all the "men prefer curves..I'm a real woman...thin=anorexic" etc etc stuff is due to envy. But the one thing most fat people won't do is admit we aren't happy. This is just my experience, I don't know every fat person on the planet but certainly many of those I do know in rl, are drowning in denial and are really quite bitter.

I am probably the fattest person on mumsnet, btw! So am well qualified in this area

PortandLemon - in real life I have never heard of any woman getting stick for being overweight but it is not unusual for people to be critical of the slender.

I am (or at least used to be) fairly thin and people have never hesitated to question me about what I eat. A couple of years ago, a friend of DH's even took him aside claiming that he and his wife were very concerned about me and my DH should do something about it. The problem being that I seemed to eat more than people thought I should, being slight. So it was common knowledge amoung our friends that I was bulimic.

DH was unable to persuade him, that having lived with me for years in a very small flat he would know if I had an eating disorder.

FMV- I'm also a very fidgety person. I just can't keep still. I pace when talking on the phone, I've got my leg shaking at the minute. I'll change legs soon.
It helps to keep the weight off, especially as I love my food!
I don't over eat, I just appreciate it and don't deny myself it!

this is interesting, i used to be very thin and people would constantly tell me to eat more bla blah evemthough i used to eatlike a horse. However i am now fat(size 16)and people (my mother too!!) are tlling me to loose weight. so basically i cant friggin win!!!

it amazes me that people think it is ok to comment on other peoples weight. last friday i was out with my DP and met some of his customers (he runs restaurants) and we all got quite drunk and silly. One man said to me that although i was very pretty i was quite a big girl what pissed me off more wasmy reaction i just laughed-the old me would have pulled him apart.

i think i have body dismorphia in that i think i look better thani do-i never realised that people saw me as being fat.

Ithas really knocked my confidence

sorry have gone off on a tangent.very cathartic though!!!

PersonalClown - I think that is the only reason I don't gain weight. I can't keep still

I have a huuuuge appetite!
But I must admit, I'd be terrified to take a cholestral test - that's the thing that's dawning on me, I look healty, amd very active, eat healthily (ish) now but I've had decades of eating whatever the hell I like!

unless you are very short, imho size 16 is not too fat. and unless you are extremely tall my size (8) is not too thin

Close friends and family might have a right or reason to question eating habits if you are very over or under weight. But t is really rude and ignorant for an aquaintance to pass remarks no matter how big or small you are! Don't let that smarmy git knock your confidence.

My husband got teased as a child for being tall and thin, and our ds has inherited his looks. He is very very skinny, all bones! But he eats a ton - which is much commented on. He has a complete inability to keep still (also commented upon ) so he burns it all off. I am also fairly slight - size 10/12 and 5'10" and whilst I haven't ever been bullied I do get a lot of banter about not eating (I think people are genuinely surprised to find me tucking into a fry up or other large lunch every now and then) and it is slightly weird not to be able to reciprocate, as I think if I said things in a similar vein to my overweight colleagues they would be quite upset.

thanks upwind, i am trying not to let it get to me. he was an ugly bastuard as well (although thought he was gorgeous!)