Need some advice :( not sure what to do !

[Troubledwaters34]

there is so much back story to this I have changed my name and will make sure some details are changed.

back story
ex Boyfriend has a child from previous relationship ( young primary age )
he was granted full custody after some mental health issues and allegations on both sides. She has always stuck by her claims but all reports / / social services deemed her the culprit and him the victim.
recently we fell out over some red flag situations and I immediately ended things. Things have been anything but normal since.
lots of guilt tripping / not letting go / contacting friends and family of mine / threatening to report me for random things if I stopped engaging in things. Sending big gifts. Telling me he needs to talk as his worried he will do something stupid.
he also became very jealous of a friend ( who is a bloke ) has become obsessed with the idea that I have got with him and moved on and started a new life ( this is not true ) it’s been less than 2 weeks since I told him to leave.
yesterday he tried to contact me - he needed me to help with DC, I Ignored. He then over the course of the day spiralled until he told me that my friend had messaged him horrible things and then sent me a thread of a conversation between him
and my friend.
the conversations basically was my friend telling him he needed to leave me alone because he wanted to sleep with me. How he didn’t care about me but that he wanted sleep with me. Calling me names etc then also calling ex son names and then telling them to go kill themselves.
he was replying to the messages like the good guy, defending me telling friend how much he loves me etc
he then begged for me to talk to him and rang me, he said he was in a bad way. He said after he received my friends messages he thought about killing him self because the messages made it sound like that’s what I wanted. He cried and cried.
It turned out the whole conversation with him. He had found my friend on social media stole his pictures made fake accounts and had a 2 way conversation with him self.
I have cut him off completely and getting my locks changed tomorrow, am I being over cautious ? I’m so worried :(

I meam block him obviously but anyone using "I might kill myself" on me would be told I was calling their mum/999/new girlfriend/whatever would embarass them the most for a welfare check.

God the victim blaming dickheads are still everywhere aren't they.

Please report this OP. You are not over-reacting.

@Troubledwaters34
Your op has unsettled me.
Please make your first job this morning to ring a locksmith and get your locks changed and your 2nd job to ring the police.
Please don't dither about and 2nd guess yourself.
That was some really scary stuff in your op, not normal behavior at all.
Please take action to protect yourself, locksmith, police, block him, save all your evidence and for God sake if he turns up at your door don't answer, call the police.
Please update us ❤️

I'd report to police, I'd also try to make contact with the SS caseworker to see if I could let them know what a nutcase he is. No idea how possible that is, maybe police would help?

What a creep. Are you sure he can't get in the doors? Do you have anyone who can sit with you until the locks are changed?

Ring the police - tell them what he has done to you, faked about your friend, and ask for a welfare check as he mentioned feeling suicidal. Make sure you wrote down everything that happened and when then share it with them and preferably a trusted friend. Add the evidence of the faked convo and anything else you have. Mention his previous partner and her allegations.

A ring doorbell is a good idea, front and back. Locks changed is a great idea. Know too though that people that act like this are quite often total cowards who wouldn't follow through anyway but it's not worth the risk to you or his child.

You might not get a satisfactory outcome from this other than him leaving you alone so it's good to be prepared for a battle without proper justice at the end.

Are you for real??? Victim blaming at its finest. Women die every day at the hands of unstable men. You think this is ops fault because she had a relationship With somebody that had a child. You are ridiculous and your views are dangerous

Please please report him to the police.

He doesn't need to physically hurt you, or threaten to - it's the fact he is repeatedly contacting you against your wishes, through multiple different means, and the faking of the conversation with your friend is unhinged. Tell the police about it all, including the fact you're not sleeping.

Please change your locks too if he has ever had a key.

You need to get a non molestation order and report this man to the police immediately. He is obviously unhinged, but he could escalate his already drastic interactions with you. You have got to protect yourself.

@Magn and @Murdoch1949 have the right idea.

Also block him on everything. Ask your friends and family to block him too. Tell them what he is doing. Creep

Thank you. My friend is coming to stay for a few days. I ended things as soon as red flags appeared. The aftermath proved my instincts were right.
Just feeling very well uneasy which I have never felt before.

Good for you I guess? Is that in any way relevant here? No. Did you want a medal?

It would be wise to report him.

As for the ex, she may well be abusive. That doesn’t mean that he isn’t, however.

Great idea that your friend is coming tomorrow Betsy for a few days - that will give you some comfort and hopefully make you feel safer. Is your locksmith booked for your locks to be changed (not just the regular locks but a security lock as a good backup). 🌹

Have you called the police to log it? This kind of thing needs to be on record if at all possible.

Seconding everyone else @Troubledwaters34 please do call the police. They will take this very seriously, as they should. Please get a locksmith out asap. Hope you’re doing okay.