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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on a work trip during GCSEs?

28 replies

Namechange1971 · 12/05/2023 23:17

Just this really - having a bit of a crisis of confidence. Son about to take GCSEs over the next few weeks - load of papers, of course, up to the end of June and I have a work trip over three days and two of the exams.
Asked son several times and he has told me he is confident in the exams and fine with this - he will also have DH and older sister to support and I will be in touch all the time.
The work trip is relatively important and involves travel to EU but I will be able to be in contact all the time.
Still feel a bit wobbly/guilty though. Would ideally like to be able to go but DS is my priority. AIBU to go??

OP posts:
Tellmeimcrazy · 12/05/2023 23:18

Your DH is there I wouldn't worry. Now DS knows about the trip it may be added pressure if you stay. Can you do a shorter trip as a compromise?

Dotcheck · 12/05/2023 23:19

Well, yes.

Call him every morning to say good luck, and then chat with him in the evening.

I’m assuming his dad is able to look after him?

He’ll be fine

Fiddlerdragon · 12/05/2023 23:20

How will his circumstances be changed if you stay? Do you think he may do worse somehow?

quietnightmare · 12/05/2023 23:21

Cut the cord op 🙄

No I'm all seriousness I understand you feeling guilty but there's no need to. He will be fine

Call in the morning wish him luck and check in afterwards

Good luck to him

Original poster
Namechange1971 · 12/05/2023 23:31

Thanks all for your replies - really needed the perspective. I will give my head a little wobble and try not to worry as much. DH is well able to take care of the situation as is DD come to that. I don’t think my being there would affect his performance one way or another, it was more wanting to be there in case anything didn’t go well, but I can still be in contact all the time in any case! Thanks again!

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 12/05/2023 23:33

I’ve got a work trip in the middle of eldest doing A levels and youngest doing GCSEs. It can’t be helped and I don’t feel guilty about it.

sjpkgp1 · 12/05/2023 23:50

As long as your DH is organised to get him there on time (vital) with the right stuff for the exam, then of course it is fine and you should worry no further. I've been through this with four. Some kids prep for their exams brilliantly, others not so much, but it is down to them ultimately. I know some feel the pain of not doing so well, but it tends to be fairly fleeting given the amount they have to take. My last DS had so many exams last year that we started full of gusto and by the end I (and he) was just glad he was actually getting there to do them. Have a good trip with work and worry about it no more ! x

UsingChangeofName · 12/05/2023 23:55

Everything @sjpkgp1 said.

Seriously, don't give it a second thought.

dreamonlucid · 13/05/2023 00:30

Please don't feel bad, I have numerous work trips all over my sons GCSEs my DH has multiple notes and diary's set up, my DS is aware I have to work.

So it's ok they don't need you.

neslop · 13/05/2023 00:33

I broke my leg and was in hospital for first week of DS1's GCSEs, I felt awful about it but he was absolutely fine

Original poster
Namechange1971 · 13/05/2023 00:40

Thanks all for your wise, reassuring responses! 💐

OP posts:
Geppili · 13/05/2023 00:47

Don't worry! Just ring him and maybe leave/bring back a treat for him.

caringcarer · 13/05/2023 01:36

I wouldn't go, just in case he needed me to reassure him. But I know I'm over protective and struggle to cut the apron stings.

Boomboom22 · 13/05/2023 01:39

You must go because he knows about it. If you don't go he'll think you don't trust him to do well. Video call him before and after instead.

Objectrelations · 13/05/2023 02:38

I wouldn't go but I'm a single
parent and both my sons are neurodivergent

MerryMarigold · 13/05/2023 04:45

Eh? What exactly does he need you to do? Remind him to take his calculator to a Maths exam?

My DS did all his GCSEs 'alone' as I left for work before him. The 'debrief' was usually fairly brief. "It was okay." To be honest, the first few he was nervous but towards the end he just wanted them over and could hardly be bothered.

I think you are babying your son and I'm just confused what effect you think going away for 3 days will have on him.

rwalker · 13/05/2023 05:33

You definitely need to go exams can be horrendously pressured
going away as you normally would brings normality into the situation

PollyPut · 13/05/2023 07:02

@Namechange1971 if DH is very good at setting alarm clocks, making sure DS up, well breakfasted and out of the house nice and early on exam days, and feeding him well and making sure he sleeps, then I wouldn't worry.

On the other hand if DH normally gets up after the DC have gone to school and there is potential for an exam to be missed then I would be concerned.

Alainlechat · 13/05/2023 08:11

I have a work trip during exams, I'm away for 3 nights. It's not ideal and I would rather not be. But the DCs are ok with it. DH is a sahd so will have everything covered.

I'll be contactable at all times and in EU so similar time zone.

LlynTegid · 13/05/2023 08:20

Hope your DS does well in his GCSEs.

WellTidy · 13/05/2023 08:25

I wouldn’t, as DS has ASD and dyspraxia and needs the reassurance that I am there to help with levels of anxiety.

But DH would, and has, at times of higher anxiety for DS. And that is absolutely fine for us.

Equalitea · 13/05/2023 09:10

I went on a hen party for 5 days whilst one of mine was going GCSEs.

No guilt, and no impact whatsoever, got all as predicted.

Having been around the others during GCSEs I can tell you that in my opinion it’s probably a bit late to worry the week of the exams, they’ve either pretty much got it by then or haven’t!

MathiasBroucek · 13/05/2023 09:23

It's work, not a hen trip and you're a two parent family. Of course you should go

Summerwhereareyou · 13/05/2023 09:24

For one dd of mine I would go but the other I would stay. Depends on the child

Summerwhereareyou · 13/05/2023 09:25

Re the they either have it or they havant.. Isn't it more about emotional and moral support?