To be pissed off?

[Fridaynighttakeaway]

I chucked ex dp out a few weeks ago due to discovering him cheating, I have tried to remain civil and have said he can see the children as often as he likes in between his one night every other weekend contact proposal

I went to collect DC after 2 hours a his request to discover they had met up with the OW and her DC - whilst I have kept a level head with our DC internally I am furious that he has put our DC in the throws of his shit storm so soon after he left

AIBU in thinking this is too soon to be introducing new prtners/their children ? Or am I completely out of touch?

To make matters more complicated, his new partner, moved into a house across the road from me yesterday and I am struggling to process my feelings:(

Wow. I would be putting boundaries in place pronto and have a routine with the kids. Not ‘whenever he wants’. Kids need boundaries and routine in situations like this. He has to stick to agreements or I’d be stopping access and he can take you to court. The children having some stability is more important than him doing what he can be arsed with them.

As for the pair of them. Limited on what you can do whilst rising above it. :/

keep a note of communications and agreements. Agree stuff via text. He’s not going to agree about being adult about introducing a new partner to the kids so I wouldn’t bother with it.

yes secretly plot his demise - but outwardly be civil. Don’t give them the goady little reactions they want and will feed off.

I hope you remain strong. I hope you find the strength you need. I hope they have the future they deserve. Massive squishes to you.

They are some big spaces.

but yanbu

Apologies my phone does not like me posting on here apparently 🙈

I don't know what you're asking AIBU for?

Apologies, posted that before realising the post had huge gaps and it's wasn't my app playing up! 😳

YANBU and yes I'd be posted off as well but realistically you can't dictate what he does when they're with him. It's a shit situation and you have my sympathy. All you can do is ask him to be sensible and not involve his kids with every woman he sleeps with. Wether he takes this seriously or not remains to be seen.

Agree with PP that I wouldn't let him have them any time he wants, that opens the children (and you) up to being messed around and being at his beck and call. Give him days where he can see them as extras, then let him decide if he wants them or not.

You’re not being unreasonable to feel how you do at all, and most considered people would wait. But you can’t dictate what he does when they’re with him - they’re not at risk or in harm, there’s no say you get in that.

The best thing you can do is put boundaries in place for your sanity and your children’s stability. Contact should be regular and routine - court will usually look to maintain the status quo, so you should consider that when you think about what you offer.

Don’t bend over backwards, don’t collect after two hours if you didn’t agree to that, set your boundaries and expectations high and keep them there. He will absolutely take the piss if he can - it wouldn’t surprise me if they’d met OW because he didn’t know what to do with kids on his own for a couple of hours.

And I know it’s awful, but I’d contemplate moving if you’re able to. Seeing her won’t help you, it will be confusing for your children especially if they don’t work out, and sometimes a change - a place that is your own - is actually really good.