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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have closed down this exchange with man from tinder

30 replies

gunnipl · 12/05/2023 08:21

We exchanged plenty of messages over three days. He and I were keen. We exchanged a few more photos, more natural ones I suppose but totally clean.
His interest waned a bit. He started delaying getting back and then asked me a few more questions which he had asked me already, to which I gave answers .
He was getting confused between women I expect.

So it was dragging a bit and I suggested we meet for a coffee or a walk or something.
For man that text back immediately , I had no response for an hour despite him being online so eventually I just said let's leave this . His manners had become worse as the messages progressed so I really didn't like that and told him so

OP posts:
gunnipl · 12/05/2023 10:58

Thanks
I'm going to Google that article. I clearly need it !

OP posts:
GoodChat · 12/05/2023 11:19

gunnipl · 12/05/2023 10:10

But from the responses here, it sounds like I'm doing something wrong .
That my expectations to meet after a few days texting are too high ...
All the advice I've ever got and it has turned out to be true, is to nip days and days of texting in the bud, if there is no plan for a coffee .
Three days of messaging was the boundary I set for myself but now wonder if it's unreasonable .

I'm like you OP. I don't want to spend ages talking to someone for it to go nowhere with them having no intention of meeting.

MenoRageisReal · 12/05/2023 11:22

Ooft you got the rage because he didn't reply for an hour? An hour? I sometimes don't reply to my bestie who I love with all my heart right away - and this is a casual 3 day chat you're talking about.

Time to chill and take things a lot more casually! I think he picked up on your intensity and backed off. Yes he likely was talking to others, people do until they get into something more serious. Why not?

Goodread1 · 12/05/2023 11:34

My take on this ,you might have come across as bit needy, bit over invested bit too soon in this kind of dating situation and he has pulled back somewhat

A cynical side of me thinks , that he could have been hoping for a bit more suggestive type of photos too,

not sure...

I do think you need to trust your intuition / gut instinct on matters of heart as this,
If it feels disjointed not right a bit off weird in any way..
act accordingly

Best of Luck @gunnipl in dating game

Tellmeimcrazy · 12/05/2023 11:40

You're right to want to meet up sooner rather than later but what I'm saying is it isn't worth over thinking and getting over invested. This happens a lot in OLD.

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