DD keeps getting scratched at nursery - wwyd

[nurserywoe]

DD keeps having a scratched up face and I've been pulled aside a couple of times to be told that she's been scratched by another child.

Then this week I've been told she was slapped.

I've been told there's some issues sharing and a lot of snatching going on between a few kids. She is one of the kids in this group of kids who are having trouble sharing/ taking turns.

Apparently there's one particular child and they always want everything the other one has and therefore fights end up happening.

Sometimes her face is really scratched up and they're not sure what happened, as she came inside from being outside with scratches on her face.

My DH is a bit shocked by all this. I'm not overly concerned, but I'm wondering if I should be ? I think it's just kids being kids. My DD is definitely struggling to share / take turns and it's something we work on at home. She has a little brother, so a lot of time to practice.

She's 3. The nursery tell me that it just takes time for them to learn and that we just all need to reinforce etc.

Does this sound OK or am I being too passive ?

Once at her old nursery I was pulled aside and told my DD had been out of control one day and scratched someone and they told me it was unacceptable and the other parents were really angry. I've only ever been told she has once scratched another child. ( this was at her old nursery ). I was also told she'd been bitten. I was never really shocked by all this, but the fact other parents seem angry about it and my DH is also getting upset about it, makes me wonder if I'm being too passive. Thoughts welcome.

I would be considering moving my child if it kept happening, as it suggests the nursery is not managing the issue.

I disagree about 'kids being kids' - it is nurseries job to manage, supervise, guide and prevent this happening.

Must be very unpleasant for your child for this to keep happening.

Sometimes her face is really scratched up and they're not sure what happened, as she came inside from being outside with scratches on her face.

Are they outside on their own?

I'm really sorry your daughter is getting hurt.

I had the biter and because we're at a childminder and we all had older children + a younger child but the older children can talk, there was no hiding who did it.

We all knew it wasn't because we were bad parents but a shitty phase. It's two childminders working together and I know they look after them well but it's hard to watch them like a hawk. It can happen so quickly too if they're playing and despite you being near, hard to prevent. I've seen it at home looking after my two.

I always felt terrible but we all come to each others birthday parties etc and the kids love each other. Mine was just the smallest and couldn't express himself. Nobody ever made me feel bad because they knew I felt awful and I tried everything to prevent it.

I don't think there is anything wrong the way you think, I would have understood by people found it hard if my child bit them because when you've never had one before (of course, my first child was angelic), you think this could easily be prevented when in reality it's shit for everyone.

Well, they shouldn't be on their own. They can go in and out as they please, but it does sound like they're not being supervised properly, if they can't even pin point how it happened.

P.s. the phase was short lived for us (about 8 weeks and it was over) x

I don’t think you need to kick up a massive fuss, but I do think nursery should be paying more attention. Especially if it’s repeatedly the same child, they need to be watching that child constantly until they learn to stop, that’s the only way.
I also think it was ridiculous of the old nursery to say the other parents were really angry! What did they want you to do with that information?

This is the thing, it’s generally a short lived phase, biting, scratching etc. So the staff need to be clear who is supervising that particular child constantly, all day every day. Then the child realises they can’t get away with it, because the staff member steps in to stop it happening each time. Then they stop doing it! That’s how we worked things when I worked in nurseries anyway.

I'm always just glad it's not her who's biting / scratching.

Like I said, at the last nursery she was bitten a few times and once she scratched and they made me feel so bad about it, talking about how the other parent was so angry. I don't react angrily when they tell me at all.

But I think it's not good that they can't tell me how it happened.

In any case DD has told me who it is. It's a couple of boys that seem to scratch her. I've seen how she is with her little brother, so I assume she gives as good as she gets. But I don't know, as at the new nursery they've only ever told me that she was ' the victim ' of the scratching.

@User17865 I noticed today when I dropped her off that the child who scratched DD was trying to snatch stuff from another kid and the teacher was straight in there telling him off. I guess it must just be difficult to stay on top of it at all times.

I work at a nursery. Sometimes we don’t see everything that happens, you can’t watch every child closely at once and sometimes you only know something has happened when someone is crying. Someone should be outside though?!! Some children have very challenging behaviours and really could do with one to one but nurseries generally
don’t have spare staff to do this so it’s just trying to manage as best you can.