AIBU to say nope not helping you?

[HadEnough2023]

My MIL is a very difficult woman, she's a narcissist. She comes round almost daily and is just so negative and miserable that I had to put a stop to it being daily.
She uses us for free dinners, free cash, free lifts, she doesn't lift a finger, and expects DH to help her on tap as she's I quote "I brought DH up so it's only fair he starts paying me back now he's an adult after all the money I spent bringing him up."
She's destroyed DHs friendships, mental health and confidence by always nit picking at his friends and DH, being rude and miserable. His friends don't ever want to come and see us anymore due to her.

Last week she made a comment about my mother and my child and was extremely rude, I've barely spoken a word to her since.
She's now asking to come over tomorrow for me to help her with some online forms forgetting all about her attitude she's had.
AIBU to say no, fuck you do your own forms? She pretends she can't do anything so everyone has to fall in place to help her and I've had enough.

(Future plan is to move far, far the fudge away just can't do it yet.)

I would go with some version of 'sorry that's not something we can help with ' and repeat for every request between now and when you're able to move 😅

Give her the contact details for local
Citizens Advice……

Age concer is that way MIL>>>>

Forward all her texts to dh. Do not respond to her messages at all.
My ils never had my phone number..

Why should you move? Frankly DH knows what shes like and would rather passively sit around letting her ruin things. Fuck that.

You would be unreasonable to just say "no". You need to make clear what the problem is. "Not tomorrow, im still upset about the comment you made about my family."

YANBU, tell her that's what citizens advice is for.

I've tried to get her to go to citizens advice, she has a lot of issues that need sorting but refuses as it's a "waste of time", then expects me to sit on the phone sorting her shit out for weeks.
I have two disabled kids and I'm exhausted, he's had no issue telling her that she's caused problems between him & his friends yet won't tell her that for me. It's frustrating.

I'm sorry you've got this weighing in your shoulders.
I would tell her to her face how much her remarks about your mum and dc hurt and say that until she apologises meaningfully then you will night be doing anything for her.
Add strict boundaries.
If you are firm and concise and stick to it you will be very pleasantly surprised at her reaction.

You are being unreasonable to even consider helping her. Just say no.

Just say no.

"No, were out Tuesday"

"No, I'm busy Wednesday"

"No, we're seeing friends Thursday"

Etc

Or be honest. "No, sorry. Your attitude has stunk recently and I don't want to spend time helping someone who is rude to my family, especially my own child. Who do you think you are?"

I'd just simply say, 'no'.

Fuck her. She can figure out to do her own forms or find someone else to do them for her.

You owe her nothing but a slap and a kick up the arse.

Don't give her the slightest gap to get her wedge into. If you say you're too busy, she'll push to find gaps in your schedule. If you say you don't know how, she'll find a way to argue round that one, and if you tell her you're upset about her comments, she'll probably be delighted, twist what you say into a row, or into something rude and hurtful, and have years of ammunition to use against you. Do the broken record. 'I can't do that.' 'Sorry, I can't do that.' No explanations, no reasons. You can't do it. End.

It's almost impossible to reason with manipulative people like that, so don't try. And I speak as a MIL - but a better one than yours, I hope.

"No, you have been rude to me and you are no longer welcome."

Think you'll have to be firm to stop this as your DH won't. There is little she can to do argue with that statement and she is unlikely to want to apologise.