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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset DH hasn't cleaned out his car

16 replies

Boymamabee22 · 11/05/2023 19:13

DH has had his car for 3-and-a-half years and has never had it valeted. Don't know if he's ever cleaned it himself either (I've done it when it's gotten out of hand).

I'm one week pp but I asked him to get it valeted before having the baby. I cleaned the front of it and offered to pay for a valet but he said it wasn't worth it and most people don't have clean cars. I'm not just talking about a bit of dust and dirt. There were coffee cups that stank of stale milk, McDonald's bags, thick layers of dust across the dashboard (which I cleaned). DS has eaten McDonald's in the back and has dropped food under the seat. The boot is full of junk. (I didn't clean out the back, by the way).

I told him I felt uncomfortable with him picking us up from hospital unless he got the car cleaned and I would pay. He just wasn't interested. My mum ended up picking us up instead, but I have to go back to hospital tomorrow for blood tests and I'm uncomfortable with a newborn in that car. I can't drive because I've had a C-section.

Not only that, he knew it was important to me. He simply doesn't care and thinks I'm overreacting or have OCD.

AIBU or should he have got it cleaned?

OP posts:
Testina · 11/05/2023 19:17

YABU to have ever cleaned it for him 😳
Are you a one car household? Unusual to say his car not our car, if so. If you have your own, leaving the slob to it and FGS stop cleaning it!!!

Weallgottachangesometime · 11/05/2023 19:17

Yes he should have got it cleaned.

normally I’d say a messy car isn’t an issue, however a dirty car to the extent of rotting food is just gross. I can’t believe he wouldn’t do that one thing? What was his reason for not doing it? Do you have a second car?

Boymamabee22 · 11/05/2023 19:26

He's insured to drive my car but basically doesn't want to.

OP posts:
Bodenesque · 11/05/2023 19:30

He missed the really special moment of bringing your baby home and I'd really struggle with that.

MintJulia · 11/05/2023 19:32

Call a cab. I wouldn't want to put a newborn in a midden of a car either.

Boymamabee22 · 11/05/2023 19:35

@Bodenesque to be fair, he was very ill with tonsillitis but I'm still upset he had 2 months to clean it.

Can't afford a taxi. It's a 45 min drive there and back.

OP posts:
IrregularChoiceFan · 11/05/2023 19:35

Was the reason he missed this because of the dirty car?

OP, I totally agree. I am getting mine cleaned at 38 weeks so it's nice for baby. Although despite having a 3 year old who is not great at getting food actually into his mouth, it's no where near as grubby as you describe. Grim!

MiIIiex · 11/05/2023 19:38

That's disgusting, it sounds like a reflection of his standards and they sound really low.

elm26 · 11/05/2023 19:40

I'd feel the same OP.

My DH's van is messy but it's not dirty, there might be a few maccies sauces laying around but no mouldy food or thick dust.

I drive the car, the dog goes in our boot in his secure dog compartment thingy (baby brain 😂) but his hair still gets places and mud, gravel etc gets in the car. I'm 37 weeks and having mine cleaned inside and out in 2 weeks ready for baby.

I have mine cleaned about 4 times a year and in between, I hoover the dog hair, wipe down the interiors etc but haven't done that for a while thanks to this ginormous bump lol.

YANBU, congratulations on your baby 🥰

SchoolShenanigans · 11/05/2023 19:42

Eugh that sounds gross.

Is he that lazy around the house too?

Efficaciou5 · 11/05/2023 19:44

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80skid · 11/05/2023 19:45

Good grief, that's so disappointing that he knew it was important to you and failed to do it. YANBU at all. I hope he's better at caring for you, the baby and other child from now on in

Hurryupandleave · 11/05/2023 19:50

He has two choices then, get his own cleaned or drive yours, neither should be an issue for anyone who gave a shit about you or the baby tbh. Even if he thinks you're overreacting/being overly precious (you're not btw) it's not too much to expect him to 'humour' you, especially when you've just had a baby and are recovering from a c section, is he usually so uncaring towards you OP?

junebirthdaygirl · 11/05/2023 20:31

He sounds awful. How can you put even a baby bag down in that car not to talk of your baby..and you after birth and all that entails. . Its disgusting and to be honest my own car is not great at the moment..but a new baby!, if he is not excited enough to clean his car and go to the hospital and pick up his partner and baby l don't hold out much hope for him at 4am when baby needs a nappy change. This is not looking good. Maybe you should show him these replies. Can't believe you were trying to clean the car at 9 months pregnant. He is a selfish brat.

FrangipaniBlue · 12/05/2023 08:07

I'll be brutally honest, I'm a bit Confused that people "clean the car ready for bringing baby home"......

What's wrong with just keeping your car clean all the time??!!

I would lose respect for someone at the level of disgusting as the OPs DH in terms of the state of his car and I certainly wouldn't be getting in it or paying for it cleaned.

AuntieJune · 12/05/2023 08:11

My car is usually quite messy but I draw the line at rotten food.

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