To not feed DS pasta for every meal

[PastaMonsta]

Yet another meal wasted because DS decided he didn’t like it. The list of foods he wants to eat is getting smaller and smaller. Today he decreed unless the meal is pasta based (spaghetti bolognaise, spaghetti carbonara, macaroni cheese) he won’t eat it.

Asides from the fact no one else in the family wants to eat pasta for every meal it’s just not healthy. AIBU? And can you think of any meal suggestions he might like that are like pasta but not?

For context he’s in Y5, has ASD, and is on the 99% percentile for BMI

In my bolognese put celery, carrots, mushrooms, pepper, courgette and my kids love it. I grate some veggies or I’d blitz them if they were fussy. Get some little tubs, do a batch and freeze in portions. I always have some pasta sauce handy in the freezer for a quick meal.

I agree with the others, I often serve my DS his dinner “alongside” whatever food he wants. Mostly something like a yogurt. He’ll ask and I say you can have it next to your dinner and eat it after. He seems to like the control he feels he has in having possession of the food even if he’s not allowed to eat it immediately. Kids are weird aren’t they?!

Italian children tend to have pasta with at least one of their meals, every day. They don't tend to be overweight either, generally.

Spag bol = protein, carbs and at least one of your 5 a day in the sauce and more if he eats other veg in the sauce. Mac cheese and carbonara also not horrific. If he has asd he probably has genuine issues with food,

I can't see how pasta every day is any different to eating bread every day. Change the sauce so he gets variety that way.

Surely a few of your meals could have a small portion set aside, chopped/whizzed up so they are more 'saucy' and use as a topping on pasta? Use the pasta as the carbohydrate portion of his meal, and keep the toppings as broad as he can cope with, trying to incorporate a range of vegetables into the sauce.

Some battles aren't worth fighting too hard on. Try to stretch the boundaries of what he will eat, but don't bulldoze them down.

I find batch cooking tricky because our freezer is not very big. It’s a bit frustrating but it came built into the kitchen when we bought the house. Could do with getting a chest freezer for the garage

That’s exactly what we have done. My two DC eat quite well we have a small freezer in the kitchen.

But my ASD DSS has a chest freezer devoted to his beige foods because he just won’t eat anything else.

Please don't be swayed by the 'he has ASD, feed him what he'll eat' brigade. Children, especially children with ASD need a very healthy, balanced diet. It's fair to say that these children do tend to have strong opinions about tastes and textures of food. They also have endless willpower and are great at refusing and 'sticking to their guns'. However, they are able to learn, and be taught. Yes it's hard at the start but this new notion of just allowing the same meal every day for years is the easy route, not the best route for their long term health and well being.
You know your son best but stick to your guns. Maybe make half portions of his favourites, help him eat the other dinners first, then he can have his smaller pasta portion. Do what works but, contrary to popular belief he will not starve himself but he will be far healthier in adult life. Good matters so much, especially to young children's brain development.

Yeah it’s probably the milk, cheese, and ice cream that mostly contribute to his weight. I tried cutting back on the milk but he just didn’t drink to point of becoming dehydrated and unwell.

This sounds the most sensible option

Will he eat pizza? Maybe pitta bread pizza?

My non-ASD child (age 5) is very similar, pasta is definitely a firm favourite.

You could maybe try bulgar wheat mixed with the same sauces?

Gnocchi? (Maybe just say it's pasta in a different shape?)

I wouldn't worry too much, I think it'd quite common for kids to be obsessed with pasta.

I’ve one the same here. Will only eat cheese sandwiches, dairylea sandwiches, toast with butter or Nutella, cheese and crackers, breadsticks, weetabix, pain au choc, bananas, strawberries, pancakes, cornflakes,garlic bread, pizza, chicken nuggets and biscuits
He will drink smoothies, vimto and milk.
He will not touch anything else and would starve himself rather than eat anything else.
Ive given up worrying about it now as the list has increased tenfold on the last two years.

I don’t know the OPs child so I’m not going to comment on whether he in particular would starve rather than eat unsafe foods but for a lot of Children they very much would starve before eating something that wasn’t “safe” to them.

it’s nothing to do with parenting, it’s not down to not being given the variety, it’s down to an eating disorder.

it’s dangerous to claim that children won’t stave.

Read up on ARFID, if you haven’t already. His diet sounds really nothing to worry about in the round, actually quite balanced.
In your shoes, I would treat him differently to the rest of the family. Eating food other than what he feels comfortable eating will be way more stressful for him than it would be for you, me and most people.

“Here’s your meal, you don’t have to like it or eat it but you must try it.”

Works for my ASD child. Even if he just licks something and spits it out, that’s enough.

I absolutely agree with most of what you’re saying and for many children with ASD you’re absolutely right.

But I do know children with food aversions/ASD who will starve themselves. My DSS for example will go 5 days without eating. One of his classmates was hospitalised with dehydration because she refused to drink.

Im not saying this is the case for OP’s child but honestly, when some parents say they’ll starve they will starve.

So he eats :
Weetabix
Milk
Meat
Cheese
Cucumber
Tomatoes
Fruit
Pasta

I dont buy it.he wouldn't be that fat if that is all he is eating.

On the days you are not all having pasta I would just do a small serving with pesto or something for him to go with whatever else you're having, as long as he's eating eg the broccoli and chicken or whatever other things he will eat from a roast (for example) That would be balanced enough.

Mine is younger and much lower down the BMI centiles but would absolutely starve rather than eat meals he doesn't like.

Pasta is quick and it's healthier than some things. There are kids that literally only eat McDonalds. I'd eat what you want and serve him up pasta tbh (batch cook it).

(NB you can keep fresh pasta in the freezer so it only takes about 4/5 mins to cook from frozen).

I hear you OP - I'm still liquidising my 16yo bolognese sauce

To be fair, that doesn't sound like a terrible diet overall and all the main food groups covered. Maybe it's portion sizes? You could also look into ARFID.

At one point (pre dx) mine was down to sweetcorn and mash. She's now nearly 6 foot tall and no harm done, plus eating much more variety now, tries new things quite often (recently discovered green pesto and cheese & pickle sandwiches) and loves strong flavours, albeit smooth bolognese!

My 9 year old has autism, he eats spaghetti. Plain, no meat, no sauce, just spaghetti off the kitchen side every night. He won’t eat off a plate, won’t use a fork, will only eat it with his hands.

It is what it is.

He’s skeletal as it is. He has afrid and just getting him to eat anything at all is a bonus.

In which case, his diet isn't too bad. I wouldn't worry so much.

Another option is you can use ziplock bags and freeze them flat. It's more space efficient than tubs.

Hey op I have a child (4) with suspected ASD and she is very similar with her eating habits everything has to be pasta based but as another poster has said eating a spag bol with tomato based sauces and other dishes based on pasta is so much better than eating nothing so I just go along with her needs and batch cook a lot of her favorites then me and DH and other children have whatever I'm cooking