Very inappropriate and awkward situation

[JazbayGrapes]

A couple of years age me and DH befriended this elderly neighbor. Let's call him Jack. He lost his wife and his dog, and now is lonely and very bored.
So we go visit him once a week or so, share some drinks, watch tv.
Over the long weekend, my DH got a crate of beer and suggested we go visit Jack. Ok. So we sat there, had quite a few drinks, then DH got a phonecall and needed to leave. Said I could stay with Jack and finish those beers.
Next thing I know, Jack wants to sit next to me. then he wants a hug, and then Yikes! He tries to kiss me. I shrieked and ran out.
Said nothing to DH, obviously we were all quite sloshed.
I know excessive drinking leads to no good, but do I sort of "forget" about this? For sure i will not be visiting Jack by myself ever again.

For the people who are saying inappropriate behaviour could be down to dementia, surely if this was the case, he wouldn't be aware enough to wait for the DH to leave to lunge? People who are 'inappropriate' due to dementia are 'inappropriate' regardless of who is present.

Surely you have to tell your DH as I can't imagine you will ever want to go there again so will need to explain why?

@dont

@Dontbelieveaword not necessarily. Dementia doesn't work like that unfortunately. I think dependant on the age of the neighbour, it could be a valid reason, especially if he's also lonely

Not all elderly men suffer from dementia, some are just arseholes ready to pounce when the opportunity arises. Now you know what he’s capable of make sure your are never alone with him again.
Tell your husband and dial back on the alcohol fuelled meet ups with this man.

How old are you all?

I wouldn’t tell your DP if he’s got a temper.

But he would not be my DP for much longer if you can’t even share your concerns with him without him losing his temper.

Obviously I would not go around the old man’s house again, especially alone.

This is the friendliest elderly neighbour check-in I’ve ever heard of 😂

but yeah, tell your husband

@baileys6904 I do have some experience caring for someone with dementia and from this personal experience (and I'm not saying this is true of everyone) the person I know would not wait until an 'appropriate' time to act inappropriately.
Anyway, lets say you're right and neighbour has been displaying symptoms of dementia, surely its even more inappropriate for OP to think it's fine to go get bladdered with him on a regular basis?

How old is this man? "Elderly" means different things to different people.

If he is in his 80's I'd question why you are DH think it's a good idea to get him pissed in the first place!

How id react to his drunken pass would also depend on his age.

This is bringing a nearly 20 year old memory back. DH and I were sitting in our back garden that had a lowish wall separating us from the neighbour. Neighbour invited us over for a drink and it quickly became apparent they were hammered. We lived in identical Victorian terraces and they wanted to show us round their house and being nosy I agreed. At some point I ended up on my own with the husband in a bedroom and he tried to kiss me. I’ve never moved so quickly and the first thing I did when we got out of there was tell DH. We had very little to do with them from then on.

Thanks for replies everyone.
Yes, i admit getting hammered was inappropriate in the first place. Neighbor has never acted weird before, so I don't think he has dementia, but probably an issue with booze.

@Dontbelieveaword i absolutely agree that the drinking isn't appropriate. I was just saying that dementia can't be written off, especially, as you know, the person can appear extremely lucid at times. Someone I once cared for was convinced her husband was having an affair because she walked in on him hugging a woman in their front room. She remembered that moment for months, remembered where it occurred, etc. Absolutely convinced Didn't remember it was actually her daughter tho... Dementia is a mysterious thing and so upsetting. I hope you're ok

Getting pissed with an elderly neighbour is just weird.

This.

Bumping a zombie thread about it is more odd.

Agreed. Very weird